Monday, September 22, 2014

I Wonder if Pops is Grandfathered In?

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CHATTAHOOCHEE RIVER CLUB COLUMBUS GEORGIA, The Chattahoochee River Club Columbus Georgia

Post Summer Storm…

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Today’s Weigh In: 197 Pounds

MXX_loopI woke up to the wonderful sound of thunder this morning.  I was also serenaded with the sound of rain on the roof.  This completely took me by surprise like I am sure it did the National Weather Service as well.  I looked at the clock and it read 7:30am.

I got in the kitchen and made a simple breakfast of cheese toast with the last bit of shredded cheddar cheese I had in the bag.  Maggie thinks that this is wonderful stuff.

Lori then called me and wanted to know if I heard thunder like she was hearing.  I told her, yes, there seems to be some kind of frontal boundary moving south. It was especially potent near Auburn.

I asked her what she was doing and she said that her and all four cats were still in the bed. I smiled. That is quite the crew to harbor on one bed.

The nights are certainly getting cooler with every week that passes.  Winter is nigh well on its way. Lori said she got cold just thinking about it.

Sort of Like Manna From Heaven, But It’s Called Beefaroni…

beefaroniI had forgotten it was grocery day.  Mom ran me by some Beefaroni on her way to the hair salon. A staple she keeps in her pantry just for me.

“I thought you would be out of food by now,” mom said with a smile.

Yes, I was about out of food and I profusely thanked my mother for being so thoughtful.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Weird Compounded With More Weird…

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free whopperWeird sparks high in these hereabouts today.  Charlie and Poppa just dropped off two Whoppers and said they would be back in a moment with medications.  That’s been over an hour ago.  I noticed Charlie and Papa were in dad’s truck tonight as well.

A quick call to my mother revealed more – that my father and Charlie had been to God’s country and picked up some furniture for my brother.  My great aunt’s antique couch.

“Does dad ever rest?” I asked my mother.

7-patty-whopper“It doesn’t seem like it, does it?” my mother replied sounding exhausted herself. “They’re trying to get your great aunt’s house ready for sale.”

I would’ve collapsed into a puddle of exhausted emotional goo by this time tonight.

Another weird thing happened today when mom showed up at my house around 8am this morning with my Cokes and my two Helen to-go plates. She has never done that before.

“Just looking after my son!” she told me.


Charlie was right behind her with Maggie’s and my breakfast.

Aye, One Look in My Eye and You Can Tell That’s True…

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Nighttime Weigh In!  199 pounds.

I woke up at 1:30am feeling pretty great.  Maybe that impending feeling of death and doom I was experiencing earlier went away.  I went ahead and took tomorrow’s lunchtime Klonopin and Coureg as insurance, and then got ready for a long night ahead. We’re going to have some computer fun tonight.

little-caesars-pizza-hot-n-ready-pizza-no-rules-large-10Mom and I had a great meal last night. They put lots of extra cheese on our pizzas.  I saw where Berryvox wrote awhile back that she thought Little Caesar’s was the bottom of the food chain as far as pizza joints go.  I’ve always thought the same thing as well, but these pizzas are really, really good with quality ingredients!

Home of the Blob…

If I lived with my parents, then I would weigh 500 pounds. They are terrible food influences as far as weight loss is concerned.  I am just glad and lucky that I haven't gained since I started this diet. I seem to be stuck at 199 pounds, though. My ideal weight is 175 pounds.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Biding My Time…

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work_in_progressIn this time of few I am experiencing this morning will soon turn into a time of plenty as soon as dawn arrives and mom stirs. I did a terrible job of buying groceries this past week.   I am thinking my father is already on the way to Tuscaloosa by now with his cousins, Jean and Carol.  I am also hoping mom will want some breakfast, and I will go get us some.  I am sure Maggie will like a breakfast biscuit as well.  Wouldn’t you? I would hate to leave her out.

I am experiencing some disjointing feelings and thoughts this morning – scatterbrained as some would call it. Mom noticed it on the phone.  A little bit of my mental illness in action.  I’ve just got that strange feeling I get from time to time that I am going to have an “episode” today as my father calls them.  It would be on a day were he is on the other side of the state. Honestly,  I get to feeling scared when this happens.  I know I have complained about my father in the past , but he is my Rock of Gibraltar.  Not having him around makes me all the more nervous.

Okay, I called mom and she was up. Hallelujah! She is going to give me ten bucks for breakfast. That is a major hurdle to overcome. I will go later at lunch to buy our two large pizzas.

UPDATE: Mom and I had Taco Bell breakfast burritos for breakfast.  They were pretty good, but not very filing.  I could’ve eaten two easily!

Hawkhammer Wants to Know About Pear Salad…


pear-salad-DSC_2313Hawk, we have eaten it like this all my life and Helen fixes it quite often as well.  It is one pear half with a dab of mayonnaise in the center, sprinkled on sharp cheddar, and with a candied cherry on top. I know it seems odd, but it is really delicious.  I’ve mentioned the ingredients once before on the blog and a lady said it sounded really gross!

My grandmother would only serve this at a fancy or church get-together and it was considered a treat.

Retro Gaming -- Earthworm Jim

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Friday, September 19, 2014

Drowsy, Sleepy, Dopey, Mopey…

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Well, I have slept almost two days straight in bed.  I could lay down right now and go back to sleep without much effort on my part.  Dad just brought food and medications so I had to get out of the bed to keep the peace.  The meds compound the sleepiness as I will just get drowsier an hour after taking them.

My father actually let me pick out our Helen Fridays meal last night which surprised me.  I chose fried chicken tenders, Helen’s rooster sauce, turnip greens, rutabagas, creamed potatoes, and cornbread.  I also wanted pear salad as the salad for this evening.  I will probably get a picture up of the meal on the web shortly.

More College Football Madness…

My dear cousin, Carol, has an extra ticket for the Alabama/Florida game tomorrow in Bryant – Denny Stadium so my father is headed to Tuscaloosa with her for the game. Tuscaloosa is on the very opposite side of the state so Dad and Carol will have to leave well before dawn. 

Charlie will also be bringing my medications before he takes Horsefly to the movies which will be nice.  I am also going to get mom and I Little Caesar's pepperoni pizzas for lunch tomorrow as well.  Mom has already called me three times making sure I would be awake enough to go get them tomorrow.


pear salad

Thursday, September 18, 2014

What’s For Supper?

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fajitasWell, you all know it is Mexican Thursdays. We have to stick to our rituals – we’re an indoctrinated crew.  I got the Rio Grande fajitas last time and they were pretty good so I am getting them again.  Mom will call me in the next few hours to tell me if they are still going and to ask me what I want.

Window Browsing Time…

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This is what $100 of my “quit smoking” money is going to buy me next month.  I don’t think Oct.1 can get here fast enough! Shopping for these parts is almost as fun as actually getting them.

logitach gamepadLogitech. F310 Gamepad

This will be used with all my emulators on my writing and blogging computer.  For example, to play Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis games that reside on that computer.







logitech webcamLogitech C615 HD Webcam

This is so Lori and I can chat real-time over the internet with a much more fluid and less jittery screen. I am going to order her one as well.






data-34-32gb-adata-s102-pro-0-500x500ADATA Value-Driven S102 Pro Effortless Upgrade 32GB USB 3.0 Flash Drive (Gray) Model AS102P-32G-RGY

This speaks for itself.  A 32 Gb pen drive to store some of my most valuable data, and to transfer files to other computers as well.

Who? That Guy Outside in the Wheelchair?

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Morning Weigh In: 199 pounds

waffle-house-lgAbout six, early this morning, I drove down to the Circle K on Gilmer Avenue for a pickled sausage and Sobe citrus drink.  It seemed like a simple affair, but I was accosted by this older white man outside in a wheel chair.  He looked fragile and frail.  He was also hitting everyone up who pulled into the parking lot for a ride and/or money.

“Will you take me to the Waffle House on the interstate?” he pleaded with me.

I went on inside of the convenience store to buy my items. I got two pickled sausages and my drink.  I paid and walked back outside to find the poor disadvantaged man still waiting on me.

“I’ve got three dollars I can give you,” he said hurriedly. “It’s my last three dollars!”

Le Sigh!

I told him to keep his money in his pocket for him to have some hot coffee with it. It was rather chilly this morning.

We loaded up his gangly wheelchair in the back of my car and I drove him the three miles down the road to the Waffle House.  He then hit me up for money when we arrived, but I had done enough.  I had played my part in this big karmic driven world.  Now Mother Earth? Let a little sun shine down upon me!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Mere Moments Before Midnight…

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Washing-MachineWell, I have catnapped all day and this is my favorite time of the night – that twilight zone just before midnight.  I always wake up eager with things to write about and with things to do. Maggie actually abruptly woke me signaling Charlie had arrived. Beta dog was home.

Charlie stuck my vinyl shower curtain in the washing machine tonight and washed it. I was aghast! I had never heard of such a thing.  I thought it would ruin the curtain and the washer, but it was no worse for wear.  You can learn a lot from Charlie if you just pay attention. It certainly knocked out that mildew on my curtain.

Charlie then proceeded in thoroughly cleaning my kitchen once again.  You would think by reading this blog that I have a disastrously dirty kitchen most of the time, but that is not the case. Charlie’s efforts, as my dear friend, are just the icing on the cake.

All during this, Horsefly was pacing the floor between my bathroom and my bedroom.  He was diligent  to turn a light on in each room and then off as he continued his pacing. Maggie finds Horsefly absolutely fascinating and will follow him sometimes in this little routine.

Home Sweet Home Alabama…

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power steering pumpWell, I made it safely to the Honda dealership in Auburn.  Dad’s driving consistently makes me carsick so I was glad when he let me drive. 

Dad was also expecting a huge bill, but it only cost $170 to repair the power steering pump in his car.  We grabbed some breakfast biscuits at Hardee’s and headed home.  I made sure the Maggins got a biscuit as well. Dad’s CR-V has tons more oomph than mine does, but my car has 100,000 miles less than his does as well.

Charlie called me as we were driving up the interstate.  I was following my father.  I have a general rule not to talk on the cellphone and drive, but I broke that rule today.

“Was it what you thought it was?” Charlie asked me.

“It certainly was,” I told Charlie. “And the price was affordable as well.”

“Good,” Charlie told me. “I’ll probably see you tonight.”

I am sure Charlie then called my father to get his take on the situation.

Just a Nervous and Jittery Kind of Fellow…

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Weigh In : 199 pounds

Well, I finally dropped below the almost insurmountable feeling 200 pound mark this morning.  I was very happy as I am now starting to see some progress. Cutting 4 gallons of sweet tea from my diet every week has had the most significant and profound effect I think. I am drinking sugar free Crystal Light fruit punch as I write this.

Welcome Home CR-V!

2005–2007_Honda_CR-V_SportLet’s hope they optimized the flux capacitor! We’ve been having trouble traveling through the late 1800s.

Charlie would usually play this function or role, but Charlie is at work today.  My father wants me to drive him to the Honda dealership in Auburn to pick up his car and then we will be getting some breakfast at Hardee’s.  I feel that feeling akin to butterflies in your stomach as they often say.  The drive doesn’t bother me, but the often gut wrenching and awkward small talk does (oh lordy, it’s not that bad Andrew – excuse my hyperbole).  My father feels that I am too unreliable about this kind of thing or he would ask me to do more.

“Let my actions speak louder than my words!” I told my father last night. “And I can start to regain more of your trust.”

Imposition Exemplified…

Austerity – Audacity would be a better word over at Kevin's Blog.
by Kevin Barbieux

I have 15 dollars to last me the rest of the month.  And I need to do laundry, which is about 5 bucks a load.   To smell or to eat, that is the question.   If so inclined you can send help to my PayPal account, using my email address,  Or use the link on the right.

The Homeless Guy has no qualms what-so-ever about totally and completely imposing upon his readers.  I bet there were a lot of disgruntled readers when they got up and read this little gem of a blog post. Hey! A little emotional blackmail never hurt anybody.  We certainly don’t want him stinky and hungry.  Kevin is more of a sociopath and not really a sufferer of Asperger’s Syndrome.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I Don’t Have to Use these Anymore…



The Night of the Barking Dog…

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Maggie FriskyYes, Maggie is in supreme protector mode tonight.  She started to bark just after my father left from doing the medication ritual.

“I bet your neighbors love that,” my father said sarcastically calling me back on his cellphone. “She must have some insecurities.” 

I can’t figure out what she is barking at except cat sex which will drive my little furry friend absolutely bat shiat crazy. I thought I heard a few cats fighting or screwing near Maggie’s backyard.  Maggie’s sitting out there emitting a steady drone of barking. I know my neighbors could kill me when she does this. ‘99% percent of the time Maggie is as quiet as a church mouse.

Mercy For a Honda…

My father and I are headed to Auburn at 10am in the morning.  They had to put on a new power steering pump on his Honda CR-V which I correctly diagnosed.  We are going to pick up his ailing vehicle.

“Only if you let me drive the Beemer on the way home,” I told my father with a Cheshire grin about the trip and who is driving whom.

Dad nervously chuckled with hesitation.  He is very protective of that ultimate driving machine. That car is his baby.

“We will get steak biscuits at Hardee’s before we head home,” my father said to sweeten the pot.

Maggie Protection

Women? Did You Know You Are Hard Creatures to Discern?

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Lori ChristmasSo last Christmas, Lori straitened her hair from its naturally and normal curly state.  Lori said she felt self conscious about it all Christmas as if people were criticizing her hair.

“I love your hair either way,” I told her dancing around her emotions and sentiments carefully.

Looking at the photo she sent me this morning, which is to the left, I thought she looked elegant, beautiful, and I told her so.

Just a side note: I don’t want seem mean, but the tattoo certainly makes Lori look worldly to put it nicely.

“Don’t be shocked when you see me tonight,” she told me. “I have an appointment at the hair salon this afternoon.”

“You go get ‘em tiger!” I said in reply. “You go girl!”

My ex-wife changed her hairstyles like the weather changes around here.  She would let it grow out and then she would cut it short. Rinse and repeat. My ex-wife loved to dye her hair a dark red as well. I liked her hair best when it was dyed red and short.

I See Light On the Horizon. Morning is on the Way! Yay!

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Waffle House - Asheville - 6-5-12 - Fiesta OmeleteMom just called me.

“Let Heaven’s Little Light Shine Down Upon Us!” I heard a chorus of angels singing.

“How are you?” she asked, sounding morose, lonesome and depressed.

It is getting close to 7am.  Mom wanted to go get breakfast at the Waffle House.  She, too, had another sleepless night.  Dad shall soon rouse himself out of bed as he has to work today.  Helen will also arrive for a day’s work and the house will get busy in a moment’s notice. Helen, many mornings, will give my mother a lecture about laying in the bed all day. lol  She’d have more luck gathering the tides for the moon.

Maggie’s already got things busy over here this morning wanting constant back scratches! She can be a very insistent little lady!  She loves for you to scratch the base of her tail – a nether region she cannot reach alone.

“Let me go get us something to eat,” I told my mother insistently. “I don’t know if I can take the hullabaloo of a sit down restaurant.”

So, as soon as the light of morning shines down upon us then too, I shall get us a to-go breakfast from the Waffle House. Mom and I are both getting the fiesta omelets. I am more well versed with the Waffle House’s menu.  Mom didn’t know they made such a thing.  We are also going to try the Waffle House’s newly introduced biscuits.

Monday, September 15, 2014

She Almost Commandeered My Cart…

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Weigh In: 201 Pounds

I was about to pee something serious in my pants when we walked into Kroger tonight – a bad miscalculation on my part.  It hit me on the drive up Hwy 29.  I did some really quick shopping as I squirmed some and then headed back to the back of the store where the bathroom is.  I did my business and walked out to find a young black lady walking off with my cart. This lady was not an employee.

“Ma’am? That is my cart!” I told her boldly and frantically not wanting to have to start over.

“Oh, I am sorry sweet heart,” she replied blithely and then walked away leaving the cart.

Dad couldn’t believe that someone would just walk away with someone’s cart like that.

“I am not shitting you!” I told my father as I was telling him about it as we walked to our cars.

My biggest expenditure tonight was 5 canisters of Crystal Light fruit punch at $2.50 a canister. They’ve come a long way with the taste of these artificial sweeteners these days.  That fruit punch is delicious and doesn’t have a calorie. It said that if you bought five then they would give you five dollars off the total purchase.

I also got more “crack in a box” which is the regular large boxed Cheezits from Sunshine Bakeries. The Kraft Cheese Nips do not compare.

Loneliness Bites!

Mom called me at 7am this morning saying she was lonely.  Sleeplessly, she had lain in the bed all night.

“You should have got up and read a book,” I told her and then I gave her a pep talk. “Call me anytime late at night as I am up!  We could have driven over to the Waffle House and gotten some early morning breakfast!”

I think I may have just opened up Pandora’s Box with the early breakfast suggestion.