"Momma, Andrew's gone and quit smoking," George went and told his mother from across the table this morning. "I really don't see how he does it."
Mrs. Florene got up from her seat to give me a hug and then she looked at George sternly saying, "You could take a cue from him you know?"
I really did me feel so good to get that hug. Dad is still on pins needles on whether I will make it another week or not. Let's say he is guardedly optimistic.
Helen cooked supper tonight. It was the second meal Helen has cooked that I didn't like. It was baked chicken, green beans, steamed potatoes, and broccoli. It didn't help that mom fixed my plate and I got the worst cuts of baked chicken. I am spoiled and like the breasts and such. I called Helen on her cellphone after she left, "Next time you fix my plate," I told her. She laughed and said she would.
I'm still not smoking. It gets easier everyday. I hope tomorrow will even be easier as a stretch of days were very hard earlier in the week.
Well, at midnight tonight, it will have been six days smoke free! I never would have thought I would have made it this far. The peer pressure online has certainly helped. And it has also helped that I am broke at the moment - not a dollar to my name. The means when the terrible cravings strike, I can't just drive down the street to Rectum and buy a pack of smokes.
Yesterday was the hardest day yet. I now know why so many people with mental illness smoke. It is calming and comforting. It soothes the nerves.
Well, I can't wait till midnight tonight. My big goal is seven days - a whole week. I'll see ya later smoke free alligator!
I don't have much to say today. Tonight, at midnight I will be 5 days smoke free. I am experiencing some pretty harsh withdrawals today. This process has also played havoc with my sinuses. Hope to be able to say I am smoke free tomorrow!
Once or twice a decade I get this feeling of fierce determination and can do amazing things to change my life. I get it from my mother. She used to could do this as well. Well, I felt it coming on the day before last. I realized I needed to capitalize on this once a decade "mood." I decided to quit smoking mainly because it has become such a G-D hassle. I had to call mom. Mom would call dad. And dad would usually call me bitching about how much I smoked. The cigarettes I smoked also went up ten dollars a carton the other day and that pissed me off.
"You could afford a new Honda Civic car payment for what you are spending on cigarettes these days," dad told me not too long ago.
All of these things precipitated this sudden change in my life. Let's hope this "fierce determination" lasts for a few weeks- giving me a chance to finally quit that terrible, stinky habit. It is going to take months to get this ash tray smell out of my house and every thing I own stinks! Ughhh!
I realize once I publish this that I will be committed to quitting smoking. I just got off the phone with my family practitioner. Dr. Kamath is going to call in some prescriptions to help with the quitting process. I smoked my last cigarette last night around midnight. I haven't felt this determined about quitting in years. I am also very excited, but realized the upcoming week is going to be tough. Very tough.
The little Asian lady that walks by my house every morning knocked on my door today.
"Can we pick up pecans in your backyard?" She and her daughter asked.
"If you can put up with my dog barking incessantly," I replied.
Maggie surprised me. She didn't just go bonkers. She got to playing with the little girl. They were playing tug of war with a big pecan branch. It warmed my heart to see that. Maggie seems to have this second sense about people and whether they are good or not.
My cousin Johnny? Maggie hates him. She will sit close to me and bark every time he moves. He was over here the night before last and Maggie's behavior embarrassed me. It makes me wonder, though.
Leta is Dooce's 4 year old daughter. She is so witty for her age.
