Wednesday, April 23, 2014

So Excited…

125032284-1-toshiba_portege_z830_11f_ultrabookI am so excited for “The Homeless Guy”.  At nine hundred dollars, he can already afford one hell of a laptop or ultra book as they are called these days.  Let’s get him a nice camera and get him on his way.

I wrote him and told him to make sure and get a solid state drive and to stay away from Windows 8 if he possibly can.  That’s going to be hard as the majority of these “ultra books” are coming with touch screens and Windows 8 already installed, though. I also wrote and told him to try and get a Core i7 processor instead of a Core i5. Core i7 processors have a much larger level 3 cache and a feature called hyper-threading.  That will help with his video editing or vlogging as he calls it.

The Therapist is in…

Mom called me and woke me up at 2am last night. I was dead to the world.  I had to play therapist as she told me all her problems. Mainly about her and my father. Mom talked for close to an hour.  Maggie walked into the computer room and collapsed at my feet wondering what was going on.

“Mom? Don’t you know it is 2am?” I asked sleepily longing to go back to bed.

She said she thought I would be up.  Goodhearted me sighed and listened although I didn’t give her any advice as to what to do.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Cubed Beef, Bell Pepper, Vidalia Onion, Cherry Tomatoes, Skewers…

beef-veg-skewersI just made a quick visit to my parent’s to pick up some walnut chocolate chip cookies from my cousin.  She was in town for the funeral. She always bakes me the best cookies.  I also got to spend some time socializing with my brother who was interested in the various aspects of my mental illness. Dad was making supper from the ingredients in the subject of this post. As I walked by, a pan of homemade biscuits was ready to put in the oven. The house smelled absolutely wonderful and wholesome.

PoliceLightsThis is the kind of stuff I deal with on not so good days like this afternoon and I discussed this with my brother.  I couldn’t make eye contact today no matter how hard I tried.  I would look off in the distance as I talked to someone. I also felt people were watching my driving to report me to the police.  Harrowing things for sure.  It really takes some effort to stand back objectively and see what is going on.

“Why would I be so important that the police are looking for me?” I told my brother passionately. “I haven’t broken any laws except maybe the speed limit.”

Do you know what is the hardest part of all of this?  Humans are incredibly social creatures and certain behaviors are the norm.  Mental Illness causes abhorrent behavior thus disturbing the delicate balance of the dance that is socialization. Many mentally ill people end up ostracized when all they need is some medical care.


rail one“The Union Pacific is a Western railroad.  I wonder what a CSX train was doing with one UP engine on the head end?”

That’s what I was muttering as I stood by the tracks and took this photo.

They have indeed added a new siding behind the cotton mill and were busy loading gondolas with demolition debris. I thought I had a video of the work going on, but apparently my camera did not like it.

It started to pour rain at one point and I called myself checking the forecast. I must not have checked well. I hurried to the car before I could get soaked. I was mainly worried about my camera.

Dog Wisdom…


Bright Eyed and Very Bushytailed…

KlonopinAnother morning dawns and I feel well today – exceptionally well I might add. The extra two Klonopin a day I was prescribed seems to have taken the edge off. I claim not to feel its effects, but I do think it is helping. It is a subtle feeling medication.

Mom has already called me fretting about various things. 

“It is getting to be mosquito season around here so be sure to give Maggie her heartworm medications,” she told me over the phone.

Mom also said she was perusing Maggie’s healthcare calendar and it was time for Maggie’s flea treatment. She said she was sending it with my father tonight.

“Don’t procrastinate and be sure to put it on tonight,” mom impetuously said of my dog care duties.

Mom also asked me what groceries I got. I told her she would have to come over and have a piece of lemon merengue pie with me later.  She said that sounded lovely. She asked me what time and that made me smile.

big boy locomotiveIt is so nice to have breakfast food back in the house this morning.  I scrambled three eggs with cheese and made some cheese toast. Maggie got three plain scrambled eggs as well and she acted like she won the jackpot.   

Today is my oyster meaning I don’t have anything planned for the day.  I think I may want to head down to the railroad tracks and take some pictures of trains. They’ve added a new siding to the main tracks behind the old cotton mill.  I want to see what is going on behind there. Maybe we can see some gondola loading in action as they tear down that old mill.

Fast as a Bullet…

Hard Drive WD VelociRaptorOh man! My new solid state drive has made my writing and browsing computer a speed demon.  It is such a joy to use. That’s the best upgrade I’ve had in years and it literally only took a few minutes to install. The longest part of the process was migrating my operating system and my data to the new drive.  Best of all? No noise whatsoever.  My computer is as quiet as a mouse. I installed my Western Digital velociraptor hard drive as my storage drive of 600 GB.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Kreme de la Kroger…

kroger_3d“You never cease to amaze me when you do that,” my father told me smiling tonight during checkout. “You get in and you get out in a moments notice.”

I laughed. It only took me 20 minutes to do my shopping tonight.  I told dad I had to minimize a trip to the grocery store’s impact.

“I’ve got some Rodger’s barbecue sandwiches at the house if you want them,” my father told me as I unloaded the groceries from my buggy into my car.  “Follow me home and I will give them to you.”

2012-03-18-19_51_38What a blessing tonight! I am stuffed!  The barbecue sandwiches were super delicious. Maggie watched me eat every bite licking her lips. I don’t think she would’ve liked the spiciness of the barbecue, though.

I can never figure out how much to spend. Tonight, I only spent $65 dollars. One thing I missed was the milk for my cereal which my father said he would get tomorrow as he was buying their groceries then.

My main big splurge tonight was grapefruit juice.  I am in love with the stuff.  I got two big cartons of the ruby red drink. I also got a Boston cream pie and a lemon merengue pie as planned.

The Horse Whisperer OST- 13. Rancher's Wife

Grocery Thoughts…

edwards-piesI assume we are going to buy groceries as scheduled tonight.  If it were up to me, I’d by ten kinds of pies tonight for my pie-hole.  I’ve had the most incorrigible and unshakable sweet-tooth lately. That ought to catch my father’s attention, but grownups don’t buy ten pies to eat for the week. I think I will buy two, though.  A Boston cream pie and lemon merengue pie. I have no idea of what else to buy.  I am thoroughly tired of my usual fare. I know I want to make homemade vegetable beef soup next week.

Intruders and Prowlers…

My father told me they had an intruder last night when he arrived home from the airport.

“I saw him standing in the garage and he set the alarm off by trying to open the door and ran.  I asked loudly who was there and he said ‘nobody’ before the alarm.”

The police arrived, but they couldn’t find anybody in the surrounding neighborhood.

“You need a Maggie,” I told my father. “Maggie would’ve known if there was somebody 10 feet near the house like a radar and gone ballistic.”

Emotional Maturity and Mental Illness…

I overheard my father say the other day that he had four children he had to see about and keep going.  The fourth one being my mother.  It seems to me with mental illness that you stop growing emotionally at the point and time in which the mental illness manifests itself.  I know sometimes I don’t act my age and I am certainly not treated like an adult by most of my family. It seems I am forever that skittish little ten year old kid facing bullies in the schoolyard.

How Dost Thou Honda Drive?

2014-Honda-Accord-Coupe-EngineHelen and I were just sitting on my parent’s back porch talking. A warm spring sun shined down upon us and it felt like Heaven on Earth. Helen noted that I was overdressed for the day.

“I thought it was going to be cold when I left the house,” I replied to Helen.

I had driven over to get my six Cokes for the day and most importantly my daily pack of smokes. I remarked on Helen’s car and Helen handed me the keys to her brand new Honda Accord EX and told me to take it for a drive. 

The engines in these new Hondas are so much more powerful.  The acceleration was almost explosive with a little torque steer mixed in. When I arrived home, I opened the hood to see the engine and it had a VTEC V6.  I had assumed as much.  I used to be obsessed with cars in my younger days and knew everything about every make and model. 

Goodbye Hartsfield…

Dad called me late last night driving home from the airport.

“Did Charlie bring your medications?” he asked worriedly and foremost.

I assured my father things were status quo around here – that I wasn't going bat shi@t crazy. I managed to talk to my brother for a few minutes and then got off the phone and went back to bed.

Well, sadly, I have a funeral to get ready for and go to at 4pm.  It is a pretty long drive to God’s country so I need to be getting ready.  My great aunt’s church is feeding the family and then we will have a graveside service in New Harmony.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Burgers and Broken Bones…

emergency_room_waitCharlie’s wife broke her foot today and is at the emergency room.  Charlie quickly swung by my house to bring a Whopper, onion rings, and my medications. It was a whirlwind of a visit.

“I didn’t want you to have a panic attack waiting on me,” Charlie kindly told me and then he was gone again headed for the emergency room once more.

“Be sure to feed Maggie!” he hollered as he headed to his cranked car.

My father is on the way to Atlanta’s airport to pick up my brother flying in from California.  There is a lot going on around here. At least mom is quiet and is in the bed.

Björk - I See Who You Are

Homeless Veteran Timelapse Transformation