Friday, February 27, 2015

The Medication Ritual…

handful-of-pillsMy father has been doing this for years now.  Every night he comes over to give me my crazy medications.  He says he can’t live with my mother and I if we are not taking them.  This is the Princess of Mauritania and Maratouse’s moment to shine.  About eight, she gets on the back of the couch and begins her vigil. Maggie will signal Papa’s return with a flurry of jubilant barking.

My father will stay about 30 to 45 minutes to make sure I keep the pills down.  Early in this process, I was throwing them up in some weird delusion that my father was trying to control me and put me in a medicated stupor.  Now? I would never forget to take my medications, but my father wouldn’t believe that if his life depended on it.   My main complaint is that my father is often late and I get antsy waiting on him.  It is kind of a roll of the dice about when he will arrive.

The only other person who does the medication ritual with me is Charlie. Now that is a special occasion indeed.  Maggie gives twice the greeting.  Charlie always brings treats for the Magster and I.  Sometimes it may just be a King sized Snicker’s bar and a cola and other times it may be a burger and fries.  Charlie always brings Maggie a small Slim Jim as well.

The ritual always ends with us giving Maggie fresh water and kibble.  She will watch on approvingly.  Only the best for the princess of Mauritania and Maratouse.

Helen’s Soul Food Friday…

Hey, I got meatloaf.  I can’t complain. Pictured also are creamed potatoes, fried okra, butter peas, and English peas. Helen was kind of liberal with the tomato sauce today.  Mom was so kind to deliver my supper plate and my Coca-Colas.


Operation Stay Up and Sleep is Underway…

Mom just called me with good news on this day of delirium.

“Your supper is ready and Helen cooked your favorite, meatloaf,” she told me sounding gleeful.

I told her to get my father to bring my meal when he comes tonight for the medication ritual.  I was too loopy to drive.  I am trying to stay up so I will sleep tonight. It’s actually getting easier as the day progresses, but I hope I don’t have to eat my own words.

This is going to sound crass and uncouth, but my once friend George would tell me all I needed was “some good pussy, a stiff drink of whiskey, and a cigar”.  Then I would sleep like a baby.  I am pretty sure he told me that at one time or another over our tumultuous friendship. It wouldn't be unlike me to medicate myself in such a manner years ago.

What’s that Smell?


“If you sniff too many, they all tend to smell the same,”  Svelte Sandra of Fred’s Dollar Store told me earlier today standing at the end of the aisle I was on.

A little note on Sandra: She has a hairdo from high school in the seventies and there is so much hairspray on it a hurricane couldn’t make it move.  It never wavers or changes.

“I want something that lasts!” I told her enthusiastically. “I want some hardcore fabric softener.”

“Gain fabric softener with Febreeze,” Sandra told me. “You can’t beat it.”

I found it and grabbed a box and headed to McGruff who was the cashier today.

“Find everything you need honey?” she asked me looking over her reading glasses as I fumbled with my threadbare wallet..

“Yes ma’am,” I said as I sniffed the box one more time and satisfactorily placed it on the counter to be scanned.

Well, you know I don’t have a life when you couldn’t wait to get home and do some laundry.  Simple minds – simple pleasures.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

All Along the Watchtower…

003 copy

This Day May Just End…

42804541My dear mother means so well, but she can get herself in a pickle quick.  I had told my mother I no longer wanted my Mexican meal on Thursday nights as I sleep until about 8 to 9pm, but she brought it anyway tonight.  She also had ulterior motives in that it was time for the Maggin’s heartworm and flea medications.  I was once again awakened from a very deep sleep at 7pm. My mother was so kind as to bring Maggie a can of Vienna sausages to eat for being a good girl about taking her medications as well.  Maggie scarfed them down like they were her last meal on this earth.

(The pill pockets for Maggie worked like a awesome charm tonight for those of you who recommended them! Thank you! It made a rigmarole a walk in the park.)

Well, as my mother was leaving, I heard a loud thump and she had fallen down my front steps. I had just shut the door and hurried outside.  I thought we were going to have to go to the hospital emergency room.

“Is anything broken?” I asked worriedly as I held her hand.

“I just need help getting up,” my mother told me with a nervous and pained laugh.

Well, we got her up and she walked to the car fine.  She is just going to be bruised and banged up for a few days. Thank goodness nothing was broken that we could tell of.

My father arrived at 9pm for the medication ritual. I call him the cavalry at times. Let’s just hope he is not Custer’s last charge.

“She just can’t do all that anymore,” he said excitedly. “She tries to do too much! Your mother will be 70 years old next month.”

I did hit the jackpot when my father gave me an extra 1mg Klonopin to take when I couldn’t sleep.  Helen is also cooking meatloaf tomorrow so there just may be a light at the end of the tunnel after all. I am so hoping she is also cooking macaroni and cheese and my father just didn’t mention it.  Beggars can’t be choosers, though.

Roll With the Punches…

That's just what you have to do sometimes – roll with the punches.  I can’t sleep for the life of me.  I have laid in the bed for several hours tossing and turning.  I am just going to stay up and get on a normal schedule sleeping at night again.  I should sleep pretty good tonight by the time my father leaves around 10pm.

We’ve had a lot to conspire against my sleeping today.  Firstly, I was sound asleep this morning when the landline phone rang.  I forgot to unplug the phone.  It was one of those automated telemarketer calls.  I heard the automated word “Attention!” and quickly hung up the phone.  Momma didn’t raise no shirker. Then Maggie starts whining really loudly because another loose dog was in the yard.   The last nail in the proverbial coffin was Lopez Landscaping and the sound of leaf blowers blowing loudly outside my bedroom window. That’s when I got dressed, turned up the heat, and turned on some tunes.

I don’t know what makes me do crazy shit like this staying up all night and sleeping in the day. I’ve always done crazy shit.  It’s par for the course.  Any rational person would want to sleep at night.  I just got it in my thick skull that my medications were only really effective at night and wore off by lunchtime when I would go to sleep.  I didn’t want to be in pain or uncomfortable mentally. My taking my medications in the morning is out of the question as my father will not entertain the idea.  I’ve tried to get him to change.  We have to do what fits his schedule and not mine.

Damn YOU Microsoft! (He Who Shakes Fist at Sky!)

It’s been a long night. I got the royal shaft from Microsoft.  I innocently removed Windows 8 from my gaming computer and installed Windows 7 and all my updated hardware drivers.  Windows 7 had 181 updates to download and install, and that was after installing service pack 1. I am not joking at all.  It took hours.  At least I had my blogging and writing computer to get online with and play some Iron Storm.

A Worry of Warts…

I want to go to bed, but I’m afraid if I do go to bed too early that I will have to deal with mental illness symptoms when I wake up much earlier than normal this afternoon.  I wish I was like Maggie and could just crash anytime and anywhere. I’ve found it hard falling asleep and staying asleep the past few days and it is disconcerting. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Whoop! That’s Where the Soup is at!


The soup was delicious and hit the perfect spot on the miserable, cold, and rainy day we had yesterday.  I ate a few bowls throughout the day and then I froze the rest for later.  I like to eat my soup with liberal dollops of Louisiana hot sauce and with a fresh and small cast iron pan of richly endowed cornbread crumbled in.

Where’s the Kitty? You Said, “Kitty, Kitty!”

Wheres the Kitty

Some Honda Vehicle Tender Loving Care…

I couldn’t sleep this afternoon so I got out and about with the goals to get my car in good shape.  I had a wheel very badly out of balance so I stopped by West Point Tire and Auto to get that taken care of.  I also got them to put a new air filter on my engine.  Next came the oil change which was way past due. 

“Synthetic oil?” Steve asked me as he stepped into the lobby. “You always want synthetic.”

I told him yes and said thanks for asking.  I quietly sat in the lobby reading old magazines while all this was being done.  I had a bad case of the nods as well.

Next, I took my car to the local do-it-yourself carwash and vacuumed and washed my car. I brought a large wash cloth with me because those brushes to wash your car with will scratch your paintjob. By the time I got home it was pouring rain again and I was ready to go back to bed.  I slept until 8:30pm and then got up and going for the medication ritual which I hope will soon ensue.

I call mom every night when I get up for the scuttlebutt.  Dad was reading this month’s National Geographic magazine and mom said she wanted to go back to bed.  I asked mom to ask my father to bring my Coca-Colas when he comes for the medication ritual.  I am sure he grumbled at that.  Mom also told me that she and my father ate what was left of my father’s chicken and dumplings for supper. I was jealous.  I told her I had a small 99¢ turkey pot pie warmed up in the microwave.

The 2nd Shift Has Left…

Mom soon called me back and said, “Your daddy is on the way.”  I like it when mom calls me like that in that it keeps me from having to guess when my father will arrive.  It is like a valet or wake up call.

“What is the princess of Mauritania and Maratouse doing?” Papa aggressively asked Maggie as he walked across my front yard from his car.

Maggie sat at my front screen door barking jubilantly.  “You get in this house right now old feller!”  This is the highlight of my Maggin’s day.  You should see her when Charlie arrives.  Beta dog gets the best greeting.

Dad was kind of quiet tonight – kind of out of it.  I don’t know what that was about.  It was probably because he had to go buy my mother’s groceries when he left my house. One by one, my mother’s responsibilities within the family have been whittled away.  Can you believe mom used to buy my groceries as well?  I also smelled alcohol on my father, but he didn’t reek of it as usual.

Mental Illness and Medication Type Stuff…

Maybe I am paranoid, but I feel like my injection didn’t take and I don’t know what to do about it.  My heart has been racing all day like it does when my medications run out.  My father said I was just being paranoid.  There is 3½ mg of Risperdal in my evening medications so that should help.  My medications will take effect at 10:45pm and I should know then by the way I feel.

I’m a One ‘o’ Clock Kind of Guy…

I woke up at 12:30pm and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I think I went to bed around 7am so that gives me about 5 and half hours of sleep.  I’m sure I will go back to bed pretty soon.  I have a Marie Callender’s turkey and dressing meal in the microwave to keep me company for a short while.  Maggie’s laying on the bed looking lost because I got up so early for us.  We are in the middle of a torrential downpour at the moment.

Shall the Weather Gods Grace Us With A Wee Bit of Snow?

The forecast for my town is that we will have a very cold rain and sleet with temperatures around 35° degrees.  The town next over from us is forecast to get a slight accumulation of snow.  This kind of weather sure keeps the weather guessers guessing.  They have changed the forecast numerous times since before midnight.  The radar is already showing some returns as far as precipitation is concerned. 

I’ve been a bump on a log all night.  I haven’t felt up to snuff since yesterday morning.  Here’s to good health and renewed vigor.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Rise and Shine My Dear Little Andrew…

Maggie started her standard jubilant greeting for Papa tonight as I hurriedly pulled on some pants to make it to the front door.  I had been deeply sound asleep previously – a very deep slumber.  Gamma dog was here and Maggie was one very happy canine.  Then mom called amidst all that and things got busy quick.  I felt kind of flabbergasted socially for a moment there.

“I was just checking on you,” my mother said. “You were really struggling this morning.”

“I came home this morning from your house and slept like a baby, momma,” I told her. “Next thing I knew dad was knocking on my door and Maggie was going nuts to see him.  It was like a time warp!”

“Well, I love you and I am so glad you got to feeling better,” my mother told me.

I was having some mental illness symptoms this morning like jumbled thought processes, restlessness, confusion, increased heart rate, and extreme agitation. Mom knew that my father keeps my extra medications in a drawer in his bedroom and she gave me a dose.  I felt a lot better in about an hour.  I fell asleep and slept the sleep of ages.

It’s a Derrière Affair…

Mom called me at seven sharp this morning.  I was rearranging my monthly “quit smoking” computer parts arrangement.  I’ve got some awesome parts coming up starting March 1st.  Can we say a new video card is in the works for April?

“Don’t forget your shot is due today at 9am,” she told me in a business like manner.

“I’m already dressed to go in warm, clean smelling clothes,” I replied to she who we call the secretary.

The drive down HWY 29 and the pharmacy visit were uneventful.  So was the visit to Kamath Medical and my dealings with the staff.  I was soon on the way back to pharmacy so I could give my father my next appointment card.  My brake light in my car came on for about ten minutes meaning I needed some more brake fluid.  It always does that when it is cold every winter.  I stopped by the AutoZone which was on the way home. 

My mind was on the two melon flavored sports drinks I so love as I walked into the pharmacy.  I didn't get any candy this week, though. I’ve been getting Wonka Spree candy every week.  I settled for something savory as in Ritz cheese crackers this morning.

Did You Smell That? It Smells Like Soup! Is it the Soup Nazi?!

No, I’m not the soup Nazi – just harmless old Andrew trying to get something warm and tasty in his belly on a cold winter’s morning.  I got some modest ingredients to make a crock pot full of vegetable beef soup last night.   It has been cooking for several hours now and the incredible smells are starting to permeate around and waft through the house.  I mainly use Charlie’s wife’s recipe for soup, but I double the amount of ground beef used and I also add sliced okra.

I’m Giving Up the Fact That I Can’t Leave Well Enough Alone…

I down clocked all my computer hardware back to stock specifications.  There is not a program I run or game I play that needs 4.8 GHz of processing power. I had my processor core voltages up excessively high.  My luck was eventually going to run out and I was going to fry something sooner or later.  It is like an addiction – you keep wanting more and more GHz and MHz our of your hardware for your money.

Right now, I am hardcore stress testing my gaming computer to make sure it is stable at stock speeds.  It has already run ten batteries of tests and is still going strong without a hiccup.  I am going to let it run 10 more times which will take about 45 minutes and then I will shut it down for the night. 

Zelda -- Ocarina of Time

Never Give Up! Never Surrender!

performance mouse-mx

Persistence pays off as I solved the aggravating and confounding problem of my Logitech Performance MX mouse – Lori’s Valentines gift to me.  All my USB ports on the back of my computer are USB 3.0.  My tiny wireless receiver was plugged into one of these ports – specifically the port, a USB 3.0 port, below where my keyboard was plugged in.  I have two USB 2.0 ports on the front of the computer for easy access.  I usually use them to sync my iPad and iPod with my computer.  Well, I plugged that mouse receiver into a spare 2.0 port and viola things were fine.  I guess the mouse just didn’t like the much faster speeds and higher voltage of the USB 3.0 ports. 

Monday, February 23, 2015

Happiness is the Best Facelift…

My father brought treats tonight before we left to get my groceries.  It was a container of some of his homemade chicken and dumplings.  I couldn’t wait to get home and eat a bowl. They, too, are the shiznit as Snoop Doggy Dog would say.

Good Grocery Tales…

family size Cheez-itI spent $60 dollars tonight and a small amount of change.  My only deviations from normal was Kroger had two very large boxes of white powdered donuts on sale both for $3.  I thought that was a pretty good deal.  I am going to put one box in the freezer.  I also got a $6 dollar box of family size Cheez-Its.   Man, do I love those things, but they are so very expensive. I rarely buy them. It takes a certain moment of brazen courage on my part to grab a box and place it in my shopping cart. I have visions of scorn and $90 grocery bills.

My most favorite of all and most personable of cashiers waved and said hello to me and my father as we walked into Kroger. She has a contagious smile and you will instantly smile back.  She really is a sweetheart and a genuinely happy person.

“It’s good to see you,” she said. “I have missed you.  Are you going to get your 4 gallons of tea tonight?”

I smiled vibrantly and told her I had missed her as well.

“Now, you know I have to get my four gallons of Milo’s!” I said with a hearty chuckle.

I also wanted a pack of Lance brand cream cheese and chives filled crackers that I like to munch on while sitting at the computer, but dad and I couldn’t find them anywhere.  We’re men so we played up to the stereotype and didn’t ask for help or ask where they were.  I just did without them which was silly.

Sia–the Voice of Zero 7…


I loved this painting or lithograph of Sia.  I think a reader said she left Zero 7 for greener pastures.  May we wish her well even though my heart is broken.

I haven’t listened to the 2009 Zero 7 Yeah Ghost album.  I am listening to it now off of YouTube. I didn’t even know it existed and it has been out for years now.