Interesting Times in Andrew-ville…

Pull up a barstool everyone. Grab a beer.  I’ve got a sordid and interesting tale to tell. This can be filed in the strange, but true category. Dad, Charlie, and Horsefly came over very late last night.  I was already in the bed and quickly put on some shorts and my favorite Powder Milk biscuits t-shirt that seems to outlast time.   Maggie was barking very maniacally with anticipation by this time. Dad was drunker than shit to put it very bluntly, but very appropriately.  I didn’t believe it until I smelled the alcohol on his breath when he hugged me. I thought he was just being silly as he can be at times. I can't ever remember dad being drunk in my whole life. I was relieved Charlie was being the supervisor of the whole affair. Charlie and I were very kind as dad gave Maggie some TLC. Maggie acted like she didn’t know who he was – this strange smelling human that had taken over my father’s body.

“I’ve come to see my other daughter, Maggie,” dad said with a flourish of a grin as he drunkenly told me and boisterously walked into my home. “The one daughter who loves me no matter what I do.”

We did our normal routine of fixing Maggie's food and water. Charlie got us all in the car as Charlie and I wanted some sodas and candy bars at Fat Albert's before they closed. Charlie said I had read his mind when I mentioned candy bars earlier. He wanted a king sized Snicker’s bar and that’s what I had as well along with a giant Sprite cola. Charlie, like me, has a terrible sweet tooth.

“That will put some meat on your bones!” dad said snarkily chuckling to me as we got back into Charlie’s car just minutes before Fat Albert's would close. 

“My traction control for my car is going out,” Charlie told me showing me the light on the dash. “How much would that be to get it fixed?”

“Probably about a $1000 dollars,” I told Charlie honestly.

Charlie said he almost fainted. I told him to shop around and that Anti-lock brakes would be about the same as well. Charlie has 230,000 miles on that Chevrolet which is as strange as this blog entry may seem.  230,000 on a Chevrolet?

I was very worried about my father, though.  I know all too well the intoxicating effects that alcohol can provide and the dangerous way it can infiltrate your life and loosen your tongue. What would make a nondrinker drink like that?  Mom said she was going to kill him when he came home for worrying us so much.  Mom said dad got drunk at a wedding a few years ago and that was all she could think of as far as my father being intoxicated.

Putting Feelers Out There…

I had an interesting computer job offer yesterday.  I would be giving computer support over the Internet and/or phone. I put some resumes out in cyberspace to see how it fared,  Did you know that certain jobs are checking your credit now days?  That’s going to screw a lot of people over with just stupid and innocent credit mistakes.  I don’t have bad credit.  I just don’t have any credit at all and am having to reestablish my credit. They screw you if you do and they screw you if you don’t.

Walking Matilda…

Mags and I slept very well last night.  It got down to 70 degrees in here (very chilly for us) so Maggie was as close to me as she could get. I love going to sleep and waking to her being right next to me.  I was lying on the bed and said, “Walk?”  Maggie jumped to attention in an instant as I smiled like a dutiful puppeteer and his strings.  We were soon headed on our daily foray around the neighborhood.  0 to 60 is a good speed to describe Maggie some days.  Yes, we had to dodge a few squirrel waffles today as well. Tis the season for squirrel hari kari it seems.

And the Title is…

We shall carry on forward from here it seems.  I don’t keep up with how many people still read anymore.  Maybe I should.  Just to see 10 to 15 people still reading and commenting urges me onwards as before.  It is like a blog boost.  Used to, when I wrote about George and the Gang, the blog was interesting for my readers, but very dangerous for me.  I knew I had to make some big changes or there where we were going to be big problems long term for the future for me. I had to move out of that out of that dangerous life into another less exciting and more sober life. 

Someone asked about that delicious sausage everyone raves about around here.   It is Clark Bro. Sausage.  A little locally owned butcher and cheese monger makes it in Roanoke Alabama makes it near here. Delicious stuff.  I’ve been known to overindulge in that sausage. You fry and Maggie and I we’ll eat it.

“Why are all the Coldplay songs on Pirate Bay piracy proof?” a man just asked as I was reading the Coldplay message boards this morning.  I just had to laugh.  Certainly a first world problem for sure.   “There is always iTunes I wrote back to the man.,” I hoped he would see it soon.  That’s what I spent my Christmas iTunes money for – Coldplay mp3’s. 

Volunteering in the Rain…

You can hear the rain loudly pattering on the Literacy Center’s roof as I write this very stormy and wet morning.  It was really coming down as I drove into volunteering a short while ago.  I was having trouble seeing to drive which often happens often these days – another reason to get that Lasik eye surgery done and soon if I can come up with the incredible amount of money.  Dr. Brazil the other day told me that I need corneal transplants as well. The sounds drastic, doesn't it?

Nature is serenading us with it’s rain dance and song after years of drought and many years of a lack of rain.  I know my father is very happy of the rain we are getting now. He called this morning to tell me about this bounty in life as I had expected.  He talked and talked with an air of excitement and jubilation in his voice.  This should make for a very quiet work place for work this morning and today. I will spend my morning browsing the web and doing any odd jobs around the center that require my help. 

Y’all, I am very seriously thinking about taking a good hiatus or pause from blogging for awhile.  I am having terrible trouble thinking of what to write about lately.  My blog must be terribly boring these days, and that has never happened before in my blog writing forays. I will take a little break and we will see how things go.  I want to go out on a good note if I decide to quit. I really can’t remember when I started blogging, but its been over five years.      

The Command Station…

Ah, here I am at my favorite place in my comfortable command center surrounded by computers, mice and keyboard, and monitors -- my bunker as my brother affectionately calls it.  My soma as Aldous Huxley would surely agree. I feel all is right in my world this beautiful, but very dark morning.  It is 5am, misty, and Maggie and I are about to go on our walk.  I put her flea treatment on her back about an hour ago and she has quit pouting for now.  Sometimes, it can take her days to quit her pouting over this part of her life that is necessary for her wellbeing.  She will quit itching and scratching like insanity in a few days as well giving us all some much needed relief, quiet, and comfort for all of us. It is tiresome to watch her endlessly scratch. When I get closer to the house after our jaunt, I am going to call the Waffle House and and get them to prepare to-go breakfast ham and cheese omelet plates for Maggie and I. Little Mags is going to be thrilled and elated when I leave and return with such a wonderful bounty of breakfast foods. 

Dat Be Fried Eggplant…

When dad told me last night that we were having fried eggplant, crescent rolls, and fried chicken for lunch, I was overjoyed. Dad used to grow eggplants in his garden for years. I actually got very excited like a giddy little child. It has be years since I last tasted eggplant. And no Paula Dean jokes by the way. Yes, we love frying everything and anything in the South, but not as much that we’re having epidemics in scope of health crisis and obesity here. All in moderation dears. She’s just one high profile woman in millions of physically fit southern ladies. The few who get diabetes I felt sorry for. I felt even more sorry for Paula when the press jumped on her and typically piles on when she is down like a pack of vicious and rabid dogs. 

Yonder Bed We Do Harkin Thee…

Have you ever dreamt that your asleep?  That is what I have been doing all morning – nodding in my command chair teetering on falling flat to the floor.  I am ready to get home and get in the bed to gain a few more hours of shuteye. 

iPad Adulation…

I was sitting in McDonalds very early this morning eating their “Big Breakfast” platter which wasn’t very big.  Why I didn’t just drive down a few more feet to the Waffle House which has a much, much better breakfast omelet baffles me as well. Maybe it was the cost of eating there and then a tip.  I did get Maggie two .99 cent sausage biscuits as a treat which she devoured soon and shortly after my arrival home. She was a very happy dog and on her favorite perch dozing off which is the back of the couch and her favorite pastime when I headed to the Literacy Center.

I was about to leave for home and then head for volunteering when a older man passing by commented on my iPad which was sitting on the table and asked me about it. He was kind of overly friendly according to my sensitive mental illness nature and the walls I put up in protection and defense. He reminded me of the many boisterous Southern Baptist preachers I’ve met over the years – trampling all over your boundaries.  .

“It is great for browsing the Internet and shopping online,” I happily chirped to the man and then I let him hold it. “I read most of my favorite magazines with it as well.”

“My, that’s surprisingly heavy,” he said with a broad smile. “It doesn't feel cheap as I feared.”  

He said he was going home to convince his wife one more time that he just had to have one.  I still say the iPad is America’s most serious and dangerous time waster. 

Close Calls With My Dearest Mental Illness…

Gluttony with comfort foods was part of the cure, and lots of Clonopin induced sleep as well when gluttony in front of the “news and views” television wouldn’t work.  I am feeling much better today – bright eyed and bushy tailed as my grandmother would always say when I was truly feeling my oats.  Sometimes, that’s just how the ball rolls for me – my brain induced miasmas. The amazing thing was that I managed to not miss any days volunteering which I feared very much would happen. I also didn’t get on my blog and moan and groan imposing upon you all about it as well.  I am very, very pleased about that. It would just be so very easy to tell Pauline I am not coming in on a certain day with little repercussions easily taking advantage of her good natured demeanor and kind disposition.

Well, I need a gallon of milk, loaf bread, and some good old fashioned flirtatious encounters of the good kind to set me out on my right foot today.  I am headed to the dollar store for milk and peanuts and then to head home to read all my favorite blogs and fix a comforting and nourishing lunch. 

A Requiem for Me? Why, thank you!

Feeling funny tonight in the old brain cage.  I am not talking about standup comedy either.  Got that weird feeling in my head that is buzzy, fuzzy, and life is going to implode into me and then hurdle out this mass of confusion, anguish, and brain droppings.  Let’s hope it is a false alarm as it can often be.  Soon as my father gets here then I am going straight to bed and into my warm covers.  I want to call my father and say “chop chop” or the house will be locked and the lights will be off. I changed my locks on the house so he can no longer force himself inside.  He has to play nice to get the rights to enter.

The Great 2012 Snack Attack…

Today is grocery day, a very special day for me, and a day with an abundance of good food, good spirits, and good will interspersed between bouts of anticipation. I get thanksgiving once a week, every week, like in that movie Groundhog Day. I always make it easy for my mother so we get the same things every time.  I am sure mom follows the same routines and route around Kroger as she’s done for months and maybe even years now. She will then pull up in front of my house and I will unload.  Mom never gets out the car and I call her our curbside delivery.  Maggie always wants to see her so badly, though.  Maggie will yelp trying to get her attention and to get her to come inside.

“Don’t get me anymore hot sauce,” I told my mother last night as we coordinated our grocery lists. “I already have 8 bottles.”

I also have four bottles of ketchup and three bottles of mustard so this is obvious that this is playing into my mother’s obsessive compulsive disorder. All this and my 50 packs of cigarettes in the freezer.  Dad says my mother and Charlie would buy six of everything if they could.

“Mom, I’m fine on condiments,” I told her. “Really, I am.”

“Oh, Mom? Don’t get me anymore of that whole grain wheat bread it was awful,” I told my mother in closing. “The whole whole wheat hotdog buns were even worse.”

“Your father said the same thing as well,” mom replied. “I just thought it would be healthier choice since you and your father eat so much bread.”

Dad says he drew the line when mom started buying diet ketchup. He said it was terrible. His first experience with diet ketchup was with a meal of calf's liver. 

The Mice Are At Play…

We better watch out for the farmer’s tomcat, but the mice are out and at play.  I’m ready to have some fun. In this puritanically downtrodden nation I will probably get in trouble for having fun. Just don’t burn me at the stake as a heretic and a hedonist. 

When my father was leaving last night, I mustered up some courage to ask him some questions before he was gone. I bluntly asked my father just what in the holy hell does he do at the pharmacy till 9:00pm and 10:00pm every night. He consistently works 12 hour days.

“I mainly just pay bills, mail statements, and watch TV,” He replied. “Charlie reconciles the registers. And horsefly paces the store with a new bottle of shaving cream every night.”

I scoffed a little, but hid it well.  I’ve told him countless upon countless times that I like to go to bed around 8pm so he is really imposing upon my good will and nature. I also have bigger fish to fry than this so I will continue to ignore my father’s transgressions.  I will just take the path of least resistance I will say, as I digress a bit, that I have grown fond of my fathers visits.  I actually look out the window to see if he is coming most nights. Sometimes you just want to go to bed instead of waiting what seems like hours for a daily visit from a loved one, though.

Recently Discovered Gems of Music…

The Horse Whisperer soundtrack is so lusciously melodic and beautiful.  I’ve burned a copy of the soundtrack onto a CD and have been listening to it endlessly in the car.  I love the track titled The Rancher's Wife.  Such a broad and sweeping landscape for a movie and for real life.  Vast and surreal as well. 

I also found Coldplay the other day after seeing the band mentioned quite a few various times on my journey around the World Wide Web lately. The CD will grow on you and you will most likely love it more with every listen.  At first play, I wasn’t very intrigued, but after the third or fourth listen, I was seriously hooked. If you don’t like modern pop music then you will probably not like this CD.