- Kim and I went to see The Twilight Saga: Eclipse last night. Kim said it was a movie about emo vampires and shirtless werewolves. I laughed. She was pretty much right. All the Twilight movies start extremely slow with lots of romance and end up with these sweeping intense action sequences. I loved it having listened to all the audiobooks on my iPod. Kim was meh having not read the books!
- We then to Chili’s afterwards and both got the babyback ribs. Kim drank two giant margaritas before our meal and I told her she drank too much in a very passive way – basically just an aside. It hurt her feelings and it was a quiet ride home back from Auburn as she pouted with me. I apologized profusely to no avail. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. No sex last night which I was looking forward to some amorous affairs.
- I managed to garner two more regular customers for my yardcare business yesterday. One was this very attractive single older lady who was very flirtatious. She was a cougar. I was extremely flattered, but managed to hold her advances at bay. The other lady was another older woman who had been paying $40 dollars every two weeks for a yardcare business to mow her lawn. She jumped at the bargain I am at mowing for only $20 dollars.
- The radar is looking very active this early in the morning which is odd, but exciting. Soon, the heat of the day will hit and storms will just erupt. I am excited for what the day will bring weather-wise.
- I absolutely can’t wait for my new processor to get here tomorrow. I am chomping at the bit to tear my computer apart and install it. I am hoping the BIOS on my Dell supports it. I am gambling that it will work. The CPU has four processors running at 3.0 GHz. My current processor is a Core 2 Duo overclocked to 3.6 GHz but it only has two processors.
- Dad paid me a compliment yesterday saying he was astonished I wasn’t a drunken mess by now. I am happy I told him. I don’t need to stay drunk all the time when I am not miserable.
- I’ve had some withdrawal from my bipolar and antidepressant medications. I keep feeling what feels like this electric sensation surging through my body. I believe this is what menopausal women experience when they say that they are having hot flashes.
- One of my biggest mental illness symptoms I had for years was that I would hear what sounded like car doors shutting or knocks on my door. That has gone away thankfully and much to my relief. I realize now it was social anxiety related and think my new medication for social anxiety is helping.
- My severe anxiety just seems to get better with every passing day. Each day, late in the afternoons, the anxiety grows less. I can almost imagine a life without anxiety these days. I can almost get euphoric when 5pm rolls around and my stomach is not in a knot and I am not a nervous wreck. It is so very, very nice to live like this. I deserve this after years of torture on those regards.
- Now that those antidepressants are getting out of my system, I am finding myself a very sexual creature once again after years of being neutered by my medications. I find myself having fantasies again and I haven’t had them in years. I also find attractive women sexually stimulating again for the first time in forever. Breasts. Butts. Hips. It is all so intoxicating.
- I just drove over a moment ago to get my six diet Cokes for the day. Mom still puts them out every night. I have a new routine while I pace the floor smoking as I drink them. It has to be one of the pleasurable things I experience these days. I love this morning routine.
- Well, today is my day off from work and I am going to make it just that, a day off. No yard work. No nothing. I am just going to spend the day reading and browsing the Internet. And hopefully making amends with Kim. I can’t stand for her to be outdone with me. She really doesn’t drink that much. I am just hypersensitive from my own experiences with drinking. I just need to be careful.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
More This and That…
at 6:04 AM