Midday Report…

Those Dastardly Telemarketers…

“You’ve got to help me with these telemarketers,” mom just said a moment ago on the phone. “I can’t sleep for the phone ringing.  I’ve gotten where I don’t even answer the phone.”

“I’ll put you on the National Do Not Call Registry,” I replied. “I can do it over the internet.”

“Really?” mom asked excitedly. “It is that easy?”

“It will take me two minutes tops to do it, but it may take a few days to go through.”

You could hear mom sigh with relief.  “They are driving me crazy!”

“Oh mom,” I then said. “Put some super glue in your car for when you bring Helen’s meal.”

“What for?”

“I think I can fix my subwoofer. That will save $250 dollars.”

Mom told me to hold on a second as she rummaged through her bedside drawer for super glue.  I had already told her about it being broken earlier and she said she doubted dad would buy me another one.  Necessity is the mother of all invention as they say.  Mom told me she had some and was going then to put it in the car so she wouldn’t forget it.

I can’t wait for Helen’s meal.  We are having meatloaf (my favorite), English peas, creamed potatoes, and biscuits.  Helen is also cooking a lemon meringue pie. 

“Oh,” mom said before I hung up. “Come over this afternoon and watch Oprah with me.”

I smiled, but I don’t like Oprah.  I will be there anyway just to spend some time with mom.  We will talk more than we will watch the TV. 

Midday Report…

Those Dastardly Telemarketers…

“You’ve got to help me with these telemarketers,” mom just said a moment ago on the phone. “I can’t sleep for the phone ringing.  I’ve gotten where I don’t even answer the phone.”

“I’ll put you on the National Do Not Call Registry,” I replied. “I can do it over the internet.”

“Really?” mom asked excitedly. “It is that easy?”

“It will take me two minutes tops to do it, but it may take a few days to go through.”

You could hear mom sigh with relief.  “They are driving me crazy!”

“Oh mom,” I then said. “Put some super glue in your car for when you bring Helen’s meal.”

“What for?”

“I think I can fix my subwoofer. That will save $250 dollars.”

Mom told me to hold on a second as she rummaged through her bedside drawer for super glue.  I had already told her about it being broken earlier and she said she doubted dad would buy me another one.  Necessity is the mother of all invention as they say.  Mom told me she had some and was going then to put it in the car so she wouldn’t forget it.

I can’t wait for Helen’s meal.  We are having meatloaf (my favorite), English peas, creamed potatoes, and biscuits.  Helen is also cooking a lemon meringue pie. 

“Oh,” mom said before I hung up. “Come over this afternoon and watch Oprah with me.”

I smiled, but I don’t like Oprah.  I will be there anyway just to spend some time with mom.  We will talk more than we will watch the TV. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Attitude of Gratitude…

I had a really good day yesterday mentally and for that I am thankful.  I never know what the fickle winds of mental illness will bring me everyday.  I try not to dwell too much about it on the blog.  I want this a positive place to come to.  I am also very thankful for mom last night.  She came over here lonesome and wanted me to go with her to Sonic to get some banana splits.  They were delicious and we had the best talk in the car as we ate.  I talked her into trying a cherry limeade and it is her new favorite drink. 

Phone Phobias Arise…

Mrs. Florene called me last night.  She had an argument with her sister and needed to vent.  It was over some property that needs to be sold which was her mother’s.  Mrs. Florene must have talked an hour as I just lay on the bed and listened.  The Gods were looking out for me though.  My cordless phone began to die. “What’s that beeping?” Mrs. Florene asked.  I quickly got off the phone and sighed in relief.  Aren’t I terrible?  She’s such a good friend – almost like family and I shouldn’t feel that way.  I just hate talking on the phone.  It makes me anxious. 

Feet Dragging AA Time…

I went to the noon AA meeting yesterday.  I have so much trouble sitting through a whole meeting though.  At one point, I got up under the guise I was using the bathroom and sat outside the old church smoking.  It was your standard share meeting and lots of people had lots of interesting things to say, but my attention span is shot to hell these days.  I think it has to do with the copious amount of medications I am on these days.  I was so glad when the meeting was over and I could drive home.  Dad is absolutely amazed I am still going to these meetings despite my social anxieties.  He asks me every night how they went and what we discussed.

A Dollar a Day Keeps the AA Naysayers Away…

As mom and I sat eating our banana splits last night in the car, she asked me what was the most socially anxious part of going to AA for me.  She so wants me to keep going.  She says she can tell such a difference in me lately. 

“Passing that donation basket on without putting a dollar in as everyone in the room watches,” was my reply.

“Do they take checks?” mom asked. “I will write a check for thirty dollars for the month for you to put in the basket.”

“I’ve never seen it done,” I replied. “I don’t know how they will handle that.”

“I am just going to start putting a dollar in with your cokes every morning,” mom said. “Don’t dare tell your father and don’t dare save up the money to buy beer.”

I smiled and got excited.  This would solve one of the biggest obstacles I have to going to AA these days – that socially anxious moment when moneyless me passes on the basket.   Mom sure is putting a lot of trust in me.  This is a good sign and I MUST handle it responsibly.  This morning was the first time I held a dollar bill in months.

It is Always Something…

I’ve noticed my home theater just was not sounding right.  The low frequency effects channel was acting all wonky ergo my subwoofer was acting up.  I turned down the volume and began to investigate.   I turned my huge subwoofer on it’s side and there is a big hole in the speaker. “Damnit!” I exclaimed in frustration.  I paid $300 for that subwoofer alone.  Now I have to go through the convoluted process of getting a new subwoofer.  I will have to get one of “The Girls” at the pharmacy to order me one and sweet talk dad into spending the money.  This is not going to be easy and I don’t relish the thought or the process.  I am a determined son of bitch though and will get it.  I just have to be nagging and diligent.  I can’t have a good home theater without a proper subwoofer. 

Is Christmas Coming Early?

I wish it was.  I’ve been extremely excited about the new Apple iPad.  I have scoured the web reading reviews and checking prices.  Dad asked me last night what I thought I would like for Christmas next year and i told him an iPad.  He asked what it cost and I told him $500 dollars.  He scoffed and said that would put me right at the limit of what I am allowed to spend every year.   “What are you going to do with it?” he asked.  I mainly would love to sit in my den and read blogs without the hassle of my laptop.  It would be so convenient. It is also just so damn cool as well. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Attitude of Gratitude…

I had a really good day yesterday mentally and for that I am thankful.  I never know what the fickle winds of mental illness will bring me everyday.  I try not to dwell too much about it on the blog.  I want this a positive place to come to.  I am also very thankful for mom last night.  She came over here lonesome and wanted me to go with her to Sonic to get some banana splits.  They were delicious and we had the best talk in the car as we ate.  I talked her into trying a cherry limeade and it is her new favorite drink. 

Phone Phobias Arise…

Mrs. Florene called me last night.  She had an argument with her sister and needed to vent.  It was over some property that needs to be sold which was her mother’s.  Mrs. Florene must have talked an hour as I just lay on the bed and listened.  The Gods were looking out for me though.  My cordless phone began to die. “What’s that beeping?” Mrs. Florene asked.  I quickly got off the phone and sighed in relief.  Aren’t I terrible?  She’s such a good friend – almost like family and I shouldn’t feel that way.  I just hate talking on the phone.  It makes me anxious. 

Feet Dragging AA Time…

I went to the noon AA meeting yesterday.  I have so much trouble sitting through a whole meeting though.  At one point, I got up under the guise I was using the bathroom and sat outside the old church smoking.  It was your standard share meeting and lots of people had lots of interesting things to say, but my attention span is shot to hell these days.  I think it has to do with the copious amount of medications I am on these days.  I was so glad when the meeting was over and I could drive home.  Dad is absolutely amazed I am still going to these meetings despite my social anxieties.  He asks me every night how they went and what we discussed.

A Dollar a Day Keeps the AA Naysayers Away…

As mom and I sat eating our banana splits last night in the car, she asked me what was the most socially anxious part of going to AA for me.  She so wants me to keep going.  She says she can tell such a difference in me lately. 

“Passing that donation basket on without putting a dollar in as everyone in the room watches,” was my reply.

“Do they take checks?” mom asked. “I will write a check for thirty dollars for the month for you to put in the basket.”

“I’ve never seen it done,” I replied. “I don’t know how they will handle that.”

“I am just going to start putting a dollar in with your cokes every morning,” mom said. “Don’t dare tell your father and don’t dare save up the money to buy beer.”

I smiled and got excited.  This would solve one of the biggest obstacles I have to going to AA these days – that socially anxious moment when moneyless me passes on the basket.   Mom sure is putting a lot of trust in me.  This is a good sign and I MUST handle it responsibly.  This morning was the first time I held a dollar bill in months.

It is Always Something…

I’ve noticed my home theater just was not sounding right.  The low frequency effects channel was acting all wonky ergo my subwoofer was acting up.  I turned down the volume and began to investigate.   I turned my huge subwoofer on it’s side and there is a big hole in the speaker. “Damnit!” I exclaimed in frustration.  I paid $300 for that subwoofer alone.  Now I have to go through the convoluted process of getting a new subwoofer.  I will have to get one of “The Girls” at the pharmacy to order me one and sweet talk dad into spending the money.  This is not going to be easy and I don’t relish the thought or the process.  I am a determined son of bitch though and will get it.  I just have to be nagging and diligent.  I can’t have a good home theater without a proper subwoofer. 

Is Christmas Coming Early?

I wish it was.  I’ve been extremely excited about the new Apple iPad.  I have scoured the web reading reviews and checking prices.  Dad asked me last night what I thought I would like for Christmas next year and i told him an iPad.  He asked what it cost and I told him $500 dollars.  He scoffed and said that would put me right at the limit of what I am allowed to spend every year.   “What are you going to do with it?” he asked.  I mainly would love to sit in my den and read blogs without the hassle of my laptop.  It would be so convenient. It is also just so damn cool as well. 

Midnight Rendezvous…

Dad called me last night.  It was midnight.  I had been asleep for hours.  Maggie sighed loudly in the bed as I got up to answer the phone.

“Will you come and help me with this new computer system?” he asked. “I am lost on how to use it and I have to train all my employees and pharmacists on how to use it tomorrow.  I fear we will never get the store up and running tomorrow.”

I got up and dressed.  Brushed my hair and headed out the door to the other town where my father’s pharmacy resides.  It was a nice cool night as I drove.  My windows were down as I smoked one cigarette after another.  A full moon hung in the sky.  I headed down to the Valley thoroughly enjoying the drive and the opportunity to help my father.  I seem to have this intuitive second sense when it comes to computers.  Dad often calls me when he has problems instead of the tech support he so dearly pays for.

Dad had a wonderful new system installed.  I was shocked he would go to such expense.  He went all out.

“How much did all this cost?” I asked. 

“You don’t want to know,” he said. “I had to take a small business loan out through the bank, but it badly needed done.”

“Let’s do a trial run and pretend I am here to get my injection of Risperdal,” I told him.

We walked through the process of filling the prescription.  It printed out the material for the injection box and a barcode.  We took the barcode to a new register and scanned it in.  I showed dad how to decline payment on the touch screen as I couldn’t pay.  Then I had to sign a little pad with a stylus saying I received the prescription and read all the health and legal warnings involved.  It really was neat this new system dad had installed.  It was going to make running the drug store much easier.  All the while, dad still watched me warily around all those drugs to make sure I didn’t take any and get high.  I smiled at one point when I said I was going to use the bathroom in the backroom and he followed me through the area where they keep all the drugs.

Dad called me this morning telling me things were running smoothly. “The Girls” as he calls them had taken to the new system like ducks to water.

“We’ve had the crazies in here today though,” he told me. “Everybody wants their pain medications and we had a few argue with us that we shorted them some.  It certainly is a full moon.”

I smiled and laughed – glad things were okay and normal for what normal is for the drug store.  You just don’t know the sense of satisfaction I get out of being able to help my father.  Usually, it is the other way around. 

Midnight Rendezvous…

Dad called me last night.  It was midnight.  I had been asleep for hours.  Maggie sighed loudly in the bed as I got up to answer the phone.

“Will you come and help me with this new computer system?” he asked. “I am lost on how to use it and I have to train all my employees and pharmacists on how to use it tomorrow.  I fear we will never get the store up and running tomorrow.”

I got up and dressed.  Brushed my hair and headed out the door to the other town where my father’s pharmacy resides.  It was a nice cool night as I drove.  My windows were down as I smoked one cigarette after another.  A full moon hung in the sky.  I headed down to the Valley thoroughly enjoying the drive and the opportunity to help my father.  I seem to have this intuitive second sense when it comes to computers.  Dad often calls me when he has problems instead of the tech support he so dearly pays for.

Dad had a wonderful new system installed.  I was shocked he would go to such expense.  He went all out.

“How much did all this cost?” I asked. 

“You don’t want to know,” he said. “I had to take a small business loan out through the bank, but it badly needed done.”

“Let’s do a trial run and pretend I am here to get my injection of Risperdal,” I told him.

We walked through the process of filling the prescription.  It printed out the material for the injection box and a barcode.  We took the barcode to a new register and scanned it in.  I showed dad how to decline payment on the touch screen as I couldn’t pay.  Then I had to sign a little pad with a stylus saying I received the prescription and read all the health and legal warnings involved.  It really was neat this new system dad had installed.  It was going to make running the drug store much easier.  All the while, dad still watched me warily around all those drugs to make sure I didn’t take any and get high.  I smiled at one point when I said I was going to use the bathroom in the backroom and he followed me through the area where they keep all the drugs.

Dad called me this morning telling me things were running smoothly. “The Girls” as he calls them had taken to the new system like ducks to water.

“We’ve had the crazies in here today though,” he told me. “Everybody wants their pain medications and we had a few argue with us that we shorted them some.  It certainly is a full moon.”

I smiled and laughed – glad things were okay and normal for what normal is for the drug store.  You just don’t know the sense of satisfaction I get out of being able to help my father.  Usually, it is the other way around. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

I fear I am writing too much and overwhelming my friends and readers.  It all plays into that obsessive compulsiveness that afflicts me, but I find writing the best form of therapy I have found in years – better than my shrink.  I love to write throughout the day.  Blogging is not a chore at all for me.  It is a joy.   Maybe if I just put a lot of effort into one essay a day then the blog will be better and easier place to come and read and not cluttered with my constant thoughts throughout the day.  I am just going to be quiet today and see how that goes.  I will try to work on a good, thoughtful essay for tomorrow.  I will keep it to only one despite my best inclinations to write six! LOL

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

I fear I am writing too much and overwhelming my friends and readers.  It all plays into that obsessive compulsiveness that afflicts me, but I find writing the best form of therapy I have found in years – better than my shrink.  I love to write throughout the day.  Blogging is not a chore at all for me.  It is a joy.   Maybe if I just put a lot of effort into one essay a day then the blog will be better and easier place to come and read and not cluttered with my constant thoughts throughout the day.  I am just going to be quiet today and see how that goes.  I will try to work on a good, thoughtful essay for tomorrow.  I will keep it to only one despite my best inclinations to write six! LOL

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

I CAN SEE!!! I realized today after putting on these soft contacts that correct astigmatism that I haven’t been able to see well for years.  Everything looks so new and fresh.  Crisp and vibrant!  My doctor was so excited when I told him I could see one hundred percent better than with my glasses.  I just couldn’t wear the hard contacts that were supposed to correct the Keratacona and the abnormality in the curvature of my cornea.  They felt like I had a grit of sand in my eye constantly.  I have mom to thank for this.  She fought for this only like a true soul with OCD would. 

Charlie has been by with my medications much to Maggie’s excitement.  She heard him pull up, recognized his car, and started squealing with joy.  Charlie is the favorite person in Maggie’s pack.  I had the WeatherNow channel on as we sat in my den.  “I just don’t get you and your father’s fascination with the weather,” he said. “Go look out the window!” I laughed. 

Dad is having a new computer system installed at the pharmacy tonight.  They have to do it when the store is closed so things will be ready to run for a new day of business tomorrow.  There is no telling how late he will be up working out the kinks.  “Please tell me you are running windows now and not DOS,” I said when he called me awhile ago to say Charlie was coming. He laughed nervously and said he wasn’t sure what operating system they were using.  That figures.  I would always know about such things being a computer geek. 

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

I CAN SEE!!! I realized today after putting on these soft contacts that correct astigmatism that I haven’t been able to see well for years.  Everything looks so new and fresh.  Crisp and vibrant!  My doctor was so excited when I told him I could see one hundred percent better than with my glasses.  I just couldn’t wear the hard contacts that were supposed to correct the Keratacona and the abnormality in the curvature of my cornea.  They felt like I had a grit of sand in my eye constantly.  I have mom to thank for this.  She fought for this only like a true soul with OCD would. 

Charlie has been by with my medications much to Maggie’s excitement.  She heard him pull up, recognized his car, and started squealing with joy.  Charlie is the favorite person in Maggie’s pack.  I had the WeatherNow channel on as we sat in my den.  “I just don’t get you and your father’s fascination with the weather,” he said. “Go look out the window!” I laughed. 

Dad is having a new computer system installed at the pharmacy tonight.  They have to do it when the store is closed so things will be ready to run for a new day of business tomorrow.  There is no telling how late he will be up working out the kinks.  “Please tell me you are running windows now and not DOS,” I said when he called me awhile ago to say Charlie was coming. He laughed nervously and said he wasn’t sure what operating system they were using.  That figures.  I would always know about such things being a computer geek. 

To Mary K…

I poured my heart out in the comment section of your blog tonight only to learn it wouldn’t let me publish the comment because your template isn’t displaying word verification correctly.  I just want you to know I hear you, read you every chance you write, and can so empathize with what you are going through.  I wrote in my comment that I am selfish and I want you around so I can have you online writing your blogs – both of which I enjoy immensely.   Your comment about being whale shit on the bottom of the ocean had me roaring with laughter despite the seriousness of the subject of your essay.  I shouldn’t have laughed, but I am crazy that way.  I am always here.  Keep writing!  You have a gift for it!   

To Mary K…

I poured my heart out in the comment section of your blog tonight only to learn it wouldn’t let me publish the comment because your template isn’t displaying word verification correctly.  I just want you to know I hear you, read you every chance you write, and can so empathize with what you are going through.  I wrote in my comment that I am selfish and I want you around so I can have you online writing your blogs – both of which I enjoy immensely.   Your comment about being whale shit on the bottom of the ocean had me roaring with laughter despite the seriousness of the subject of your essay.  I shouldn’t have laughed, but I am crazy that way.  I am always here.  Keep writing!  You have a gift for it!   

Maggie’s Got a Lot of Scratchin’ Needin’ Done!

I’ve watched and watched as Maggie has furiously scratched and scratched on the floor of my den this afternoon.  Lord knows, she doesn’t have fleas as mom makes sure of that being so diligent and OCD with her flea medications.  I’ve watched as her collar has spun round and round as she scratches her neck though.  She must have gotten into something outside that has made her itchy. 

“What if Maggie has allergies?” mom asked a moment ago when she was over here and I remarked about it.

I laughed. I am much like my father about such things and think dogs are far more rustic and resilient than we give them credit for these days.

I finally decided that the best solution to Maggie’s predicament today was to just get down in the floor and start scratching as well.  We have scratched and scratched.

“It must be terrible not being able to scratch your back,” I told her.

I took off her collar and scratched her neck real good.  I scratched her belly.  I scratched her armpits.  We scratched everything.  Maggie was just in ecstasy.     

Maggie’s Got a Lot of Scratchin’ Needin’ Done!

I’ve watched and watched as Maggie has furiously scratched and scratched on the floor of my den this afternoon.  Lord knows, she doesn’t have fleas as mom makes sure of that being so diligent and OCD with her flea medications.  I’ve watched as her collar has spun round and round as she scratches her neck though.  She must have gotten into something outside that has made her itchy. 

“What if Maggie has allergies?” mom asked a moment ago when she was over here and I remarked about it.

I laughed. I am much like my father about such things and think dogs are far more rustic and resilient than we give them credit for these days.

I finally decided that the best solution to Maggie’s predicament today was to just get down in the floor and start scratching as well.  We have scratched and scratched.

“It must be terrible not being able to scratch your back,” I told her.

I took off her collar and scratched her neck real good.  I scratched her belly.  I scratched her armpits.  We scratched everything.  Maggie was just in ecstasy.     

Eating Crow…

Well, mom got me an interesting mix of meals to eat this week.  I was just exuberant when I arrived home from the eye doctor to find a freezer and fridge full of  very interesting food.   The only exception was the frozen “fish sticks” meals she got me.  They were microwave meals and something about microwaves and fish sticks just didn’t sit well with me.  Microwaves and fish sticks just don’t jive.  Mom called me asking me how I liked what she got.

“The fish sticks meals certainly were interesting,” I said sarcastically.

“This is why I worry so much about buying your groceries,” mom replied in a huff.  “I never know what to get you.  I just want you to eat a varied diet and Dr. K said eating fish worked wonders for people with schizophrenia.”

Oh, God! I felt terrible for my sarcasm! I apologized profusely to mom – thanking her for buying my groceries every week.  Not too many 38 year old men are going to still have their mothers buying their groceries and to go to such trouble to make sure I get interesting and varied food to eat.

Well, I just popped one of those microwave fish stick meals in the microwave.  I let it cool down some afterwards.  It smelled wonderful.  There was a side of seasoned rice and broccoli with a cheddar sauce.   I ate one fish stick and smiled.  They tasted wonderful – not soggy as I had expected at all.  It tasted kind of like the fried fish fillets you get at Captain D’s.

“Mom, the fish stick meals were wonderful,” I said a moment ago calling her back on the phone.  “I was so wrong. They tasted like Captain D’s fish fillets.”

“Really?” mom said, sounding excited. “I am going now to go buy you some more!”

“WAIT!” I exclaimed, laughing. “You’ve done enough today.  I’ve got three more left and that will last me for the week.”

LOL!  Leave it up to my mother to try and buy me ten of a good thing.  It just all plays into that obsessive compulsive mantra that so controls my and mom’s lives. 

Eating Crow…

Well, mom got me an interesting mix of meals to eat this week.  I was just exuberant when I arrived home from the eye doctor to find a freezer and fridge full of  very interesting food.   The only exception was the frozen “fish sticks” meals she got me.  They were microwave meals and something about microwaves and fish sticks just didn’t sit well with me.  Microwaves and fish sticks just don’t jive.  Mom called me asking me how I liked what she got.

“The fish sticks meals certainly were interesting,” I said sarcastically.

“This is why I worry so much about buying your groceries,” mom replied in a huff.  “I never know what to get you.  I just want you to eat a varied diet and Dr. K said eating fish worked wonders for people with schizophrenia.”

Oh, God! I felt terrible for my sarcasm! I apologized profusely to mom – thanking her for buying my groceries every week.  Not too many 38 year old men are going to still have their mothers buying their groceries and to go to such trouble to make sure I get interesting and varied food to eat.

Well, I just popped one of those microwave fish stick meals in the microwave.  I let it cool down some afterwards.  It smelled wonderful.  There was a side of seasoned rice and broccoli with a cheddar sauce.   I ate one fish stick and smiled.  They tasted wonderful – not soggy as I had expected at all.  It tasted kind of like the fried fish fillets you get at Captain D’s.

“Mom, the fish stick meals were wonderful,” I said a moment ago calling her back on the phone.  “I was so wrong. They tasted like Captain D’s fish fillets.”

“Really?” mom said, sounding excited. “I am going now to go buy you some more!”

“WAIT!” I exclaimed, laughing. “You’ve done enough today.  I’ve got three more left and that will last me for the week.”

LOL!  Leave it up to my mother to try and buy me ten of a good thing.  It just all plays into that obsessive compulsive mantra that so controls my and mom’s lives. 

The Bane of Maggie’s Existence…

It has started lately – the roving yard cutters.  They will knock on your door and ask if you want your grass cut.  It has already happened two times today.   One black man is riding around the neighborhood on a riding lawn mower asking people if they need their grass cut.  The sound of that loud and raucous mower is driving me crazy.  I can seemingly hear it blocks away. 

Well, this just drives Maggie crazy.  She has been in a stir all morning.  I watched as that black man pulled up in front of my house on that mower and thought, “Oh shit!  Maggie’s going to bark for an hour!”  She did.  And I am aggravated that all these people knocking on my door sends my social anxieties skyrocketing!  These people are as bad as telemarketers and I am not exaggerating.  Maybe it’s just the poor neighborhood I live in, but it gets old quick every summer.  

The Bane of Maggie’s Existence…

It has started lately – the roving yard cutters.  They will knock on your door and ask if you want your grass cut.  It has already happened two times today.   One black man is riding around the neighborhood on a riding lawn mower asking people if they need their grass cut.  The sound of that loud and raucous mower is driving me crazy.  I can seemingly hear it blocks away. 

Well, this just drives Maggie crazy.  She has been in a stir all morning.  I watched as that black man pulled up in front of my house on that mower and thought, “Oh shit!  Maggie’s going to bark for an hour!”  She did.  And I am aggravated that all these people knocking on my door sends my social anxieties skyrocketing!  These people are as bad as telemarketers and I am not exaggerating.  Maybe it’s just the poor neighborhood I live in, but it gets old quick every summer.  

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

A Delicious Breakfast Over Conversation…

Mrs. Florene called me early this morning.  “Baby, let’s go to the Waffle House and get a ham and cheese omelet.” I overcame my social anxieties and drove us down to the Valley.  We went in Mrs. Florene’s Buick Skylark to let it run some – a car that fascinates me.  It is a early nineties model with only 18,000 miles on the clock.  It has the infamous General Motor’s quad4 engine – an engine that has always intrigued me.  We talked mainly about George over our meal.  George is in the prison in Atmore, Alabama.  He got 1 year and 6 months in jail.  Atmore is on the Alabama/Florida state line so I don’t know how much we will be able to visit him.  It is a five hour drive.  Mrs. Florene used some of her precious savings to hire George a lawyer and he got George a reduced sentence with a plead of guilty.  She said the lawyer said he should have gotten three or four years with all the DUI’s George has had and the circumstances of his arrest. 

I also learned the details of George’s arrest this morning from Mrs. Florene.  George was blacked out from drinking copious amounts of bourbon.  The police officer said in court that he was sitting in a parking lot downtown and watched as George came swerving down the road and ran over a stop sign.  George continued on oblivious to the policeman, the glaring police lights, and the sirens blaring behind him.  They finally got him pulled over after several other policemen had joined the chase and he fell out of the car trying to get out.   I shuddered as Mrs. Florene told me all this.  I am just glad my friend is still alive and didn’t kill anybody. 

Sorry!

Word verification is off.  Sorry Jules!  I didn’t realize it was such an inconvenience and that is probably why my comments have dropped precipitously lately.   I mainly had it on to stop comment spam which I get a lot of in the archives.  We will see how this works. 

Attitude of Gratitude…

I am so excited and grateful that I am getting my contacts today.  Despite my doctor’s warning that I may not be able to see well with them, I am still hopeful and exuberant.  Because of the Keratacona, I just can’t see well with glasses and I hope these new lenses that correct astigmatism will alleviate that.  I am also extremely excited about grocery day.  Kroger has a new line of frozen meals and I told mom to get me a varied mix of 22 meals and four 2-liter diet 7up.  I hope mom will buy me some very interesting food. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

A Delicious Breakfast Over Conversation…

Mrs. Florene called me early this morning.  “Baby, let’s go to the Waffle House and get a ham and cheese omelet.” I overcame my social anxieties and drove us down to the Valley.  We went in Mrs. Florene’s Buick Skylark to let it run some – a car that fascinates me.  It is a early nineties model with only 18,000 miles on the clock.  It has the infamous General Motor’s quad4 engine – an engine that has always intrigued me.  We talked mainly about George over our meal.  George is in the prison in Atmore, Alabama.  He got 1 year and 6 months in jail.  Atmore is on the Alabama/Florida state line so I don’t know how much we will be able to visit him.  It is a five hour drive.  Mrs. Florene used some of her precious savings to hire George a lawyer and he got George a reduced sentence with a plead of guilty.  She said the lawyer said he should have gotten three or four years with all the DUI’s George has had and the circumstances of his arrest. 

I also learned the details of George’s arrest this morning from Mrs. Florene.  George was blacked out from drinking copious amounts of bourbon.  The police officer said in court that he was sitting in a parking lot downtown and watched as George came swerving down the road and ran over a stop sign.  George continued on oblivious to the policeman, the glaring police lights, and the sirens blaring behind him.  They finally got him pulled over after several other policemen had joined the chase and he fell out of the car trying to get out.   I shuddered as Mrs. Florene told me all this.  I am just glad my friend is still alive and didn’t kill anybody. 

Sorry!

Word verification is off.  Sorry Jules!  I didn’t realize it was such an inconvenience and that is probably why my comments have dropped precipitously lately.   I mainly had it on to stop comment spam which I get a lot of in the archives.  We will see how this works. 

Attitude of Gratitude…

I am so excited and grateful that I am getting my contacts today.  Despite my doctor’s warning that I may not be able to see well with them, I am still hopeful and exuberant.  Because of the Keratacona, I just can’t see well with glasses and I hope these new lenses that correct astigmatism will alleviate that.  I am also extremely excited about grocery day.  Kroger has a new line of frozen meals and I told mom to get me a varied mix of 22 meals and four 2-liter diet 7up.  I hope mom will buy me some very interesting food. 

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

A Good Day…

I’m having trouble sitting through real world AA meetings.  It seems I can only make it thirty minutes and then I head home.  That happened tonight.  I’ve been so sleepy lately.  I sleep lots through the day and still manage to sleep at night.  It is a far cry from a few months ago when I couldn’t sleep at all.

Today was my injection in the ‘ole derriere.  Dad believes my trouble the other night was because my medication levels were low. Life always seems to get interesting before that time mentally.  It is also a full moon and I swear that effects me in some way.  It seems I will always be tethered to these medications in one way or another for the rest of my life.  I shudder at the thought of withdrawal or ever having to quit taking them. 

It’s been a good day though.  Mom brought my Mexican meal tonight.  I told her to surprise me and she brought some meal with strips of fried steak enveloped in fried tortilla shells and topped with guacamole and sour cream.  It was decadent and I am sure it had a bazillion calories.  Maggie got the leftovers.

I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately which is a big change for me.  I went for years without watching.  My cable company has one channel called WeatherNow and I can watch it for hours.  It is a far cry better than The Weather Channel.  You can actually get your local forecast without having to wade through stories about burning oil rigs in the Gulf and over sensationalized weather news.  Dad was really enjoying my surround sound system tonight on The Weather Channel in high definition.   “This is so immersive,” he said excitedly. “It envelops you.”

Things are going to get complicated with mom tomorrow.  Mom’s already obsessing about my eye doctor’s appointment and getting groceries.  She changed the appointment once again back to tomorrow.  She is worried I can’t see.  I am to leave my house unlocked while I go to get my contacts so mom can put up my groceries.  Mom can’t find her key to my house which is odd.  It’s dad and I who have the key disease and not mom.  Dad and I are notorious for losing our keys or getting them bumfuzzled.  Just the other night, dad took my keys out of my door absent mindedly and took them home with him for some strange reason.  I couldn’t drive in the morning to get my diet Pepsi and it sent me into a tizzy.  

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

A Good Day…

I’m having trouble sitting through real world AA meetings.  It seems I can only make it thirty minutes and then I head home.  That happened tonight.  I’ve been so sleepy lately.  I sleep lots through the day and still manage to sleep at night.  It is a far cry from a few months ago when I couldn’t sleep at all.

Today was my injection in the ‘ole derriere.  Dad believes my trouble the other night was because my medication levels were low. Life always seems to get interesting before that time mentally.  It is also a full moon and I swear that effects me in some way.  It seems I will always be tethered to these medications in one way or another for the rest of my life.  I shudder at the thought of withdrawal or ever having to quit taking them. 

It’s been a good day though.  Mom brought my Mexican meal tonight.  I told her to surprise me and she brought some meal with strips of fried steak enveloped in fried tortilla shells and topped with guacamole and sour cream.  It was decadent and I am sure it had a bazillion calories.  Maggie got the leftovers.

I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately which is a big change for me.  I went for years without watching.  My cable company has one channel called WeatherNow and I can watch it for hours.  It is a far cry better than The Weather Channel.  You can actually get your local forecast without having to wade through stories about burning oil rigs in the Gulf and over sensationalized weather news.  Dad was really enjoying my surround sound system tonight on The Weather Channel in high definition.   “This is so immersive,” he said excitedly. “It envelops you.”

Things are going to get complicated with mom tomorrow.  Mom’s already obsessing about my eye doctor’s appointment and getting groceries.  She changed the appointment once again back to tomorrow.  She is worried I can’t see.  I am to leave my house unlocked while I go to get my contacts so mom can put up my groceries.  Mom can’t find her key to my house which is odd.  It’s dad and I who have the key disease and not mom.  Dad and I are notorious for losing our keys or getting them bumfuzzled.  Just the other night, dad took my keys out of my door absent mindedly and took them home with him for some strange reason.  I couldn’t drive in the morning to get my diet Pepsi and it sent me into a tizzy.  

Lives Ever Complicated…

“Mom, Barbara just called and I go to pick up my contacts tomorrow at one,” I said.

Dad often calls mom our secretary.  She handles all my and dad’s appointments with a bulldog like tenacity and alacrity. 

“Why didn’t she call me?” mom asked me all in a stir at me having accepted the appointment. “I am on your contact info.  I go buy your groceries around that time tomorrow.”

Routines, I keep having to remember.  Us obsessive compulsive people hate to have our routines disrupted.  Any deviation from the norm sends us into a tailspin.  I wish it could be easy and with mom just saying, “We’ll go get your contacts and then go get your groceries together.”  It never is I fear.

Mom called Barbara back and changed the appointment and has since called me back twice worried “I can’t see my computer screen”.

“Maybe I did the wrong thing by changing the appointment to Friday,” mom said. “I am worried you can’t see now.”

I laughed and sighed. “Mom, I will be fine,” I reassured her.  I really can see okay – just a little blurry, but okay.  Just don’t tell mom that or we would really be in trouble and my phone would never quit ringing. 

Lives Ever Complicated…

“Mom, Barbara just called and I go to pick up my contacts tomorrow at one,” I said.

Dad often calls mom our secretary.  She handles all my and dad’s appointments with a bulldog like tenacity and alacrity. 

“Why didn’t she call me?” mom asked me all in a stir at me having accepted the appointment. “I am on your contact info.  I go buy your groceries around that time tomorrow.”

Routines, I keep having to remember.  Us obsessive compulsive people hate to have our routines disrupted.  Any deviation from the norm sends us into a tailspin.  I wish it could be easy and with mom just saying, “We’ll go get your contacts and then go get your groceries together.”  It never is I fear.

Mom called Barbara back and changed the appointment and has since called me back twice worried “I can’t see my computer screen”.

“Maybe I did the wrong thing by changing the appointment to Friday,” mom said. “I am worried you can’t see now.”

I laughed and sighed. “Mom, I will be fine,” I reassured her.  I really can see okay – just a little blurry, but okay.  Just don’t tell mom that or we would really be in trouble and my phone would never quit ringing. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Attitude of Gratitude…

I have a lot to be thankful for this morning.  I have food and it is a day before grocery day.  Maggie has taken to snuggling up in my arms every night.  This is a new turn of events and thrills me.  I sleep so much better with her so close to me.  I’ve gotten my six diet Pepsi this morning and am savoring them.  There is a chance my contacts will arrive today and for that I am excited.  I am hoping I will see extremely well with them.  Tonight is Mexican Tuesdays and I am getting the Burrito Supreme plate which will be a treat.  I thought this morning as I drove to my parent’s how reliable and what a good car I have.  It has held up well over the years.  You can’t beat a Honda.  Yes, I have much to be thankful for.

Midnight AA…

I attended an online midnight AA meeting last night.  I tend to like this meeting very much.  We talked about progressing and not obsessing over perfection.  I tend to be an all or nothing fellow and am having to learn moderation.  I can’t be perfect with the program.  I will never have a sponsor unless it is by email or chatting online.   I am learning that that is okay and I don’t have to work a perfect program – that the things laid out in AA are just guidelines and not laws.  I am also completely amazed I have stuck with AA so long this time with all the religious aspects of the program.  I tend to be agnostic and a complete skeptic.  I am learning every day.  I pray a lot – praying for God’s will and the courage and strength to carry that out.  That is so novel for me to do. 

I love you Mom…

Mom called me last night worried.

“Don’t hesitate to ask your father for extra gas for your AA meetings in LaGrange,” she said. “We have both noticed such a huge difference in you since you have been going everyday.”

“I wish I could just go in town,” I replied. “But I strongly dislike the people who attend those meetings.  There is this strong hierarchy in those meetings that I just don’t like.”

“I wish your father would let you use the pharmacy’s account to get gas,” mom said. “He worries you will not handle it responsibly.”

“We still have a long way to go, don’t we?” I asked mom.

“He will begin to trust you over time,” my mother told me. “I already trust you a hundred percent more than I did a month ago.”

My mother saying that just warmed my heart.  I have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day – that I am putting brick by brick into a foundation of trust with my parents.  I must stay sober and I must continue to go to AA.  That is one of my biggest goals in life right now to win back my father’s trust and to improve our relationship.  I love the man so very, very dearly and want him to feel the same about me.  

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Attitude of Gratitude…

I have a lot to be thankful for this morning.  I have food and it is a day before grocery day.  Maggie has taken to snuggling up in my arms every night.  This is a new turn of events and thrills me.  I sleep so much better with her so close to me.  I’ve gotten my six diet Pepsi this morning and am savoring them.  There is a chance my contacts will arrive today and for that I am excited.  I am hoping I will see extremely well with them.  Tonight is Mexican Tuesdays and I am getting the Burrito Supreme plate which will be a treat.  I thought this morning as I drove to my parent’s how reliable and what a good car I have.  It has held up well over the years.  You can’t beat a Honda.  Yes, I have much to be thankful for.

Midnight AA…

I attended an online midnight AA meeting last night.  I tend to like this meeting very much.  We talked about progressing and not obsessing over perfection.  I tend to be an all or nothing fellow and am having to learn moderation.  I can’t be perfect with the program.  I will never have a sponsor unless it is by email or chatting online.   I am learning that that is okay and I don’t have to work a perfect program – that the things laid out in AA are just guidelines and not laws.  I am also completely amazed I have stuck with AA so long this time with all the religious aspects of the program.  I tend to be agnostic and a complete skeptic.  I am learning every day.  I pray a lot – praying for God’s will and the courage and strength to carry that out.  That is so novel for me to do. 

I love you Mom…

Mom called me last night worried.

“Don’t hesitate to ask your father for extra gas for your AA meetings in LaGrange,” she said. “We have both noticed such a huge difference in you since you have been going everyday.”

“I wish I could just go in town,” I replied. “But I strongly dislike the people who attend those meetings.  There is this strong hierarchy in those meetings that I just don’t like.”

“I wish your father would let you use the pharmacy’s account to get gas,” mom said. “He worries you will not handle it responsibly.”

“We still have a long way to go, don’t we?” I asked mom.

“He will begin to trust you over time,” my mother told me. “I already trust you a hundred percent more than I did a month ago.”

My mother saying that just warmed my heart.  I have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day – that I am putting brick by brick into a foundation of trust with my parents.  I must stay sober and I must continue to go to AA.  That is one of my biggest goals in life right now to win back my father’s trust and to improve our relationship.  I love the man so very, very dearly and want him to feel the same about me.  

The Moderately Happy Pill…

“That’s all I want is a moderately happy pill,” I told my father a moment ago.

He burst out laughing. 

“But wouldn’t you want something that makes you fell really good?” he asked jokingly.

“No,” I said quite contentedly. “I’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I will settle for moderately happy.”

The Moderately Happy Pill…

“That’s all I want is a moderately happy pill,” I told my father a moment ago.

He burst out laughing. 

“But wouldn’t you want something that makes you fell really good?” he asked jokingly.

“No,” I said quite contentedly. “I’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I will settle for moderately happy.”

I’ve Created a Monster…

Dad has the day off.  It is so weird him having so much time off lately.  For years, he worked day after day – week after week.  Mom says he will just “disappear” though.  I couldn’t help, but laugh. 

Mom’s called me early this morning.  We are obsessing over my cigarettes today.  I made the mistake of telling her to tell dad to put a carton out on the porch for me to pick up today.  I should have just called dad on his cell phone and not gotten mom involved. 

“You haven’t come to get your Pepsi and cigarettes this morning,” mom told me.

“I am running late,” I said.  I have been up since the wee hours of the morning.

“Just what are you you doing?” my mother asked inquisitively.

“Home theater stuff,” I replied. “I am just enthralled that I can receive TV channels with Dolby digital 5.1 sound encoding. I can get lost for hours in the surround sound.”

“Okay, you sound like you just spoke a different language,” mom replied laughing, one of the rare moments in which mom will laugh.  She is so serious and strictly business most of the time.

“Come get your cigarettes,” mom then said insistently. “It’s worrying me.”

I smiled and wondered if this is what I would would be like if I had a child.  Would I obsess when my schizophrenic son doesn’t come and get his cherished cigarettes?  Would my world become disrupted when my son didn’t come and get his beloved six diet Pepsi that I so carefully place out on the porch every night?  Probably so.  The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree as they say. 

I’ve Created a Monster…

Dad has the day off.  It is so weird him having so much time off lately.  For years, he worked day after day – week after week.  Mom says he will just “disappear” though.  I couldn’t help, but laugh. 

Mom’s called me early this morning.  We are obsessing over my cigarettes today.  I made the mistake of telling her to tell dad to put a carton out on the porch for me to pick up today.  I should have just called dad on his cell phone and not gotten mom involved. 

“You haven’t come to get your Pepsi and cigarettes this morning,” mom told me.

“I am running late,” I said.  I have been up since the wee hours of the morning.

“Just what are you you doing?” my mother asked inquisitively.

“Home theater stuff,” I replied. “I am just enthralled that I can receive TV channels with Dolby digital 5.1 sound encoding. I can get lost for hours in the surround sound.”

“Okay, you sound like you just spoke a different language,” mom replied laughing, one of the rare moments in which mom will laugh.  She is so serious and strictly business most of the time.

“Come get your cigarettes,” mom then said insistently. “It’s worrying me.”

I smiled and wondered if this is what I would would be like if I had a child.  Would I obsess when my schizophrenic son doesn’t come and get his cherished cigarettes?  Would my world become disrupted when my son didn’t come and get his beloved six diet Pepsi that I so carefully place out on the porch every night?  Probably so.  The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree as they say. 

On Shaky Ground…

I made an emergency phone call to my father last night about 3am in the morning. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s three AM in the morning.”

“My mind is racing, DAD!” I exclaimed frantically.  “I can’t slow down!!!”

“Can you drive?” he asked.

“Jesus Christ!” I muttered loudly and exasperatedly, and buried my head in my palm. He had wanted me to come and get some medications. I hung up the phone abruptly and rashly.

It was about four am when dad made it here.  He handed me some of my Klonopin as I furiously paced the floor in the den.

“Sit down and rest,” he said sleepily, yawning ever louder.  “This reminds me of the night Joyce wouldn’t take her medications.  She was doing the same thing.”

“Why have you stayed with mom all these years?” I asked with an extremely accusing and glaring eye. “Why do you continue to fool with me???  I am just crazy as shit.  Mom is nuts as well.”

“I stayed with your mother for her grandkids,” dad said in a candid moment. “I wanted my grandkids to grow up and know Nana, and to know me and Nana as a couple.  Broken families just weren’t allowed when I was growing up.  I don’t want my grandkids to experience that.  I’ve made sacrifices.”

“So you throw all these medications at me and mom to keep us complacent!” I accused. “Just so you can live with us!!!”

Dad sighed extremely loudly.

“Are you not schizophrenic?” dad calmly asked.

“Yes,” I replied. ‘I think so.”

“Don’t you think you need to take something to make yourself feel better?”

“That’s why I always drank beer and you cut that off you son of a bitch!!!”

“I am going home to sleep,” dad replied getting up in a huff.  “There is no talking to you when you get like this.  Your medications will take effect in about twenty minutes and you will sleep.  Go to bed!”

“No wait!” I said back peddling.  “I am sorry.  I feel better already.”

“Don’t you think your life is better with the medications?” dad asked with an air of pleading in his voice. “You have a wonderful life now that you are sober and medicated .  Maggie does so well.  You keep your home so neat and clean.  You are able to go to your meetings and you and your mom have a relationship now,   Hell, you and I even have a relationship now.”

“But they aren’t perfect!” I said, sighing, as I spoke of my medications and reclined back in my chair.  My medications were beginning to take effect and I was growing extremely sleepy.  “I will always have to deal with mental illness just as I will always be an alcoholic.  I will always have to take these pills and I will always have to go to those socially anxious meetings.”

“Just like a diabetic has to take insulin,” dad replied analytically.

Dad said he then looked over after a quiet moment and I was asleep in my chair snoring softly.  He said he was just about to tell me how well I do these days – that tonight was just a blip on the radar.   Within a matter of thirty minutes, my medications had taken effect and I had crashed.

“No more Wal-Mart!” dad exclaimed with a smile as he was about to leave.  “You and your mother have been wild and going constantly.  You two have been the dynamic duo.  I knew when you all come in the drug store the other day getting all that stuff that I was in trouble.  You and your mother are usually very quiet people, but something has gotten you both off.  You both are trying to do too much.  Rest today and sleep.  I will be back tonight to give you some more medications so you will relax.”   

On Shaky Ground…

I made an emergency phone call to my father last night about 3am in the morning. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s three AM in the morning.”

“My mind is racing, DAD!” I exclaimed frantically.  “I can’t slow down!!!”

“Can you drive?” he asked.

“Jesus Christ!” I muttered loudly and exasperatedly, and buried my head in my palm. He had wanted me to come and get some medications. I hung up the phone abruptly and rashly.

It was about four am when dad made it here.  He handed me some of my Klonopin as I furiously paced the floor in the den.

“Sit down and rest,” he said sleepily, yawning ever louder.  “This reminds me of the night Joyce wouldn’t take her medications.  She was doing the same thing.”

“Why have you stayed with mom all these years?” I asked with an extremely accusing and glaring eye. “Why do you continue to fool with me???  I am just crazy as shit.  Mom is nuts as well.”

“I stayed with your mother for her grandkids,” dad said in a candid moment. “I wanted my grandkids to grow up and know Nana, and to know me and Nana as a couple.  Broken families just weren’t allowed when I was growing up.  I don’t want my grandkids to experience that.  I’ve made sacrifices.”

“So you throw all these medications at me and mom to keep us complacent!” I accused. “Just so you can live with us!!!”

Dad sighed extremely loudly.

“Are you not schizophrenic?” dad calmly asked.

“Yes,” I replied. ‘I think so.”

“Don’t you think you need to take something to make yourself feel better?”

“That’s why I always drank beer and you cut that off you son of a bitch!!!”

“I am going home to sleep,” dad replied getting up in a huff.  “There is no talking to you when you get like this.  Your medications will take effect in about twenty minutes and you will sleep.  Go to bed!”

“No wait!” I said back peddling.  “I am sorry.  I feel better already.”

“Don’t you think your life is better with the medications?” dad asked with an air of pleading in his voice. “You have a wonderful life now that you are sober and medicated .  Maggie does so well.  You keep your home so neat and clean.  You are able to go to your meetings and you and your mom have a relationship now,   Hell, you and I even have a relationship now.”

“But they aren’t perfect!” I said, sighing, as I spoke of my medications and reclined back in my chair.  My medications were beginning to take effect and I was growing extremely sleepy.  “I will always have to deal with mental illness just as I will always be an alcoholic.  I will always have to take these pills and I will always have to go to those socially anxious meetings.”

“Just like a diabetic has to take insulin,” dad replied analytically.

Dad said he then looked over after a quiet moment and I was asleep in my chair snoring softly.  He said he was just about to tell me how well I do these days – that tonight was just a blip on the radar.   Within a matter of thirty minutes, my medications had taken effect and I had crashed.

“No more Wal-Mart!” dad exclaimed with a smile as he was about to leave.  “You and your mother have been wild and going constantly.  You two have been the dynamic duo.  I knew when you all come in the drug store the other day getting all that stuff that I was in trouble.  You and your mother are usually very quiet people, but something has gotten you both off.  You both are trying to do too much.  Rest today and sleep.  I will be back tonight to give you some more medications so you will relax.”   

Like Totally Grossed Out, Dude!

I was just lying in the bed when Maggie snuggled up to me after being outside for about thirty minutes doing her business.  She was acting awful spastic for a time she is usually conked out within minutes of climbing on the bed.  I kept feeling something wet brush against my leg so I turned on the light to see if Maggie or I had an accident while I was asleep.  THERE WAS A DEAD WET BABY RAT IN THE BED!  Maggie had found a new toy and wanted to share it with me.  Well, stupid me thought it was small enough to flush down the toilet.  Did it go? NO!  Now, I’ve got to fish a dead rat out of the toilet and go tosh it over the fence where Maggie can’t get it.  I am tired.  I am going to bed.  Floating dead rats can wait until the morning.  LOL

Like Totally Grossed Out, Dude!

I was just lying in the bed when Maggie snuggled up to me after being outside for about thirty minutes doing her business.  She was acting awful spastic for a time she is usually conked out within minutes of climbing on the bed.  I kept feeling something wet brush against my leg so I turned on the light to see if Maggie or I had an accident while I was asleep.  THERE WAS A DEAD WET BABY RAT IN THE BED!  Maggie had found a new toy and wanted to share it with me.  Well, stupid me thought it was small enough to flush down the toilet.  Did it go? NO!  Now, I’ve got to fish a dead rat out of the toilet and go tosh it over the fence where Maggie can’t get it.  I am tired.  I am going to bed.  Floating dead rats can wait until the morning.  LOL

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

An Adventurous Soul…

The 8pm AA meeting in LaGrange is just too late for me.  I tried my hardest to go tonight.  Charlie had been by earlier with my medications and I was feeling mentally well this late in the evening for a change.  But I got so sleepy during the meeting as each person droned on and on about various alcoholic issues.  I kept looking at my watch and when it got half past the hour I grabbed my bottle of cold water and left – sneaking out the back door under the guise that I had gone to the bathroom.  Normally, with my social anxieties, getting up during an active meeting in a room full of people would have sent my anxiety skyrocketing, but I was too tired to care.

The Sole Oncologist…

My sister took the job as the sole oncologist at a local town hospital recently.  She signed the contract a few months ago.  She is thinking it was a bad decision now as being the only oncologist on call gives her little to no time off.  She has two young children and is having to rely heavily on third party childcare to take care of them.  I don’t envy her of that situation. 

My Magdalena…

It has rained for most of the day and the Magdalena has gotten some quality sleeping time.  She has played musical chairs with the bed in the computer room and my bedroom.  I noticed as the sun rose, she got in the back bedroom which was very dark, and as the day progressed, she gravitated towards the front bedroom which had also grown dark.  She was so sleepy and slow today that it was contagious and I took a total of three naps today totaling for around 3 hours of sleep.  I hope I sleep tonight. 

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

An Adventurous Soul…

The 8pm AA meeting in LaGrange is just too late for me.  I tried my hardest to go tonight.  Charlie had been by earlier with my medications and I was feeling mentally well this late in the evening for a change.  But I got so sleepy during the meeting as each person droned on and on about various alcoholic issues.  I kept looking at my watch and when it got half past the hour I grabbed my bottle of cold water and left – sneaking out the back door under the guise that I had gone to the bathroom.  Normally, with my social anxieties, getting up during an active meeting in a room full of people would have sent my anxiety skyrocketing, but I was too tired to care.

The Sole Oncologist…

My sister took the job as the sole oncologist at a local town hospital recently.  She signed the contract a few months ago.  She is thinking it was a bad decision now as being the only oncologist on call gives her little to no time off.  She has two young children and is having to rely heavily on third party childcare to take care of them.  I don’t envy her of that situation. 

My Magdalena…

It has rained for most of the day and the Magdalena has gotten some quality sleeping time.  She has played musical chairs with the bed in the computer room and my bedroom.  I noticed as the sun rose, she got in the back bedroom which was very dark, and as the day progressed, she gravitated towards the front bedroom which had also grown dark.  She was so sleepy and slow today that it was contagious and I took a total of three naps today totaling for around 3 hours of sleep.  I hope I sleep tonight. 

A Window of Opportunity…

I took Maggie for our walk this morning before another big line of rain and storms moved in.  This is our third day in a row of walking one mile.  I plan to bump it up to two miles at the beginning of next month, but that’s it.  I have learned that if I make walking too much of a chore, I just won’t do it and I and Maggie both need the exercise.  It takes about one hour to walk a mile with all the frequent stops Maggie makes.  She has to sniff everything, and I mean everything.  It is one big canine staccato mess it seems.  I am very happy today – grateful for all I have and the ability to still do such a thing with an animal that owns my heart.  

A Window of Opportunity…

I took Maggie for our walk this morning before another big line of rain and storms moved in.  This is our third day in a row of walking one mile.  I plan to bump it up to two miles at the beginning of next month, but that’s it.  I have learned that if I make walking too much of a chore, I just won’t do it and I and Maggie both need the exercise.  It takes about one hour to walk a mile with all the frequent stops Maggie makes.  She has to sniff everything, and I mean everything.  It is one big canine staccato mess it seems.  I am very happy today – grateful for all I have and the ability to still do such a thing with an animal that owns my heart.  

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Gentrification…

“Your father is driving me nuts this morning,” mom said over the phone a moment ago as she yawned sleepily. “First, he started some coffee and then realized we had a new coffee maker.  He told me I shouldn’t have spent that money – that our old coffee maker worked perfectly fine.  I wanted one with a timer and a larger capacity.  Then, he has the TV up so loud in the den that it woke me up in my back bedroom.  He’s gotten so hard of hearing.”

I got the biggest smile on my face.  Mom and dad’s interactions can be so interesting and it just gets more interesting the older they get and the longer they are married. 

“I just asked him a question about his day off and what he was going to do and he just grunted something inaudible!  He can be so rude to me sometimes!”

I realized mom and dad are getting older, cranky, ornery in their elder married years.  They are the stereotypical odd couple.  They’ve been married over forty years.

“I want to thank you for going to your eye doctor’s appointment yesterday,” mom then said. “That worried me more than anything that you would have a panic attack and wouldn’t go.  I worry about your eyesight.  And your old glasses looked terrible.  You can’t wear those hard contacts.”

“Mom, you asked me over thirty times if I was going to make it!” I said.

“I know,” she said. “I am sorry.  I was obsessed.  I can be so obsessive compulsive sometimes.  It is only because I care.  I just love you.”

My Favorite Blog…

I have often told Annabel that I am her biggest blog fan.  Story of my Life is your average “day in the life” blog I think most of you who read my blog would enjoy.  She doesn’t do anything special.  There is not a lot of drama.  She doesn’t often air her dirty laundry or reveal sordid details on her blog like I tend to do.  There is no flowery prose.  I don’t think I have ever seen her use dialogue.  But I love her blog.  I love the details of her life she shares.  You really get to know her and what her life is like.  She is probably one of the busiest people I have ever met in my life as well.   She is a constant whir of activity and I think she feels guilty when she allows herself some downtime to watch TV or get online.  Our lives are such polar opposites and I think this I why I find her such an interesting and fascinating person to read about.

Business Talk…

I was overjoyed to have dad back last night for our medication ritual.  Maggie just will not eat her Purina One unless dad puts it out for her.  She is such a choosey and finicky dog.  She loves her routines as much as I, Charlie, or mom.

“I hired a new pharmacist this week,” dad said excitedly. “This will give me much more time off.  I will be 65 this August and need to think about retiring.  I keep hoping Angie will buy the store from me.”

Dad has his first Saturday off in weeks today.  He was so excited last night.   This brings the total number of pharmacists working for him to three.  Dad never talks about the business end of the pharmacy with me so I was very interested in the details of what was going on. 

“A few months back CVS made an offer to buy the store and my clientele,” dad said. “I refused.  I want to keep the pharmacy independently owned for the sake of my customers.”

I have often worried about what dad will do about retiring.  The pharmacy has made him very wealthy, but it has also been a very big ball and chain all these years.  He has worked 12 hour days for decades and I don’t see how he has done it all these years.

The Quest for Soda…

It was thundering and lightning something fierce this morning at 6am as I drove to get my daily sodas.  My windshield wipers were on their highest setting as I pulled into mom and dad’s rear driveway.  I almost couldn't see to drive, but this didn’t stop me on my daily quest.  I tried to do without caffeine, but only made it two days before the withdrawal headaches started.  I also grew wary that my abstinence from one of my favorite daily rituals would make me more mentally interesting. 

I ran up mom and dad’s back steps in a driving rain getting soaking wet.  My cokes were in their plastic sack sitting where they always are in the corner of the back porch.  My curiosity was piqued as the sack felt heavier than usual.  Upon arriving back home, I looked in the sack.  Inside were several goodies much to my excitement.  Mom had included a nice expensive Zippo cigar lighter, a new longer leash for Maggie,  two extra diet Pepsi, and a note.

I thought you would enjoy a few extra things this morning, mom wrote.  Julia bought the cigar lighter for you.  She says they last for months.  I worry about you not being able to light your cigarettes.  Maggie’s old leash was terrible and too short, so I went back to Wal-Mart last night and got her a new one. Don’t tell your father I gave you two extra Pepsi.  I thought you would enjoy that.  Love, mom.

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Gentrification…

“Your father is driving me nuts this morning,” mom said over the phone a moment ago as she yawned sleepily. “First, he started some coffee and then realized we had a new coffee maker.  He told me I shouldn’t have spent that money – that our old coffee maker worked perfectly fine.  I wanted one with a timer and a larger capacity.  Then, he has the TV up so loud in the den that it woke me up in my back bedroom.  He’s gotten so hard of hearing.”

I got the biggest smile on my face.  Mom and dad’s interactions can be so interesting and it just gets more interesting the older they get and the longer they are married. 

“I just asked him a question about his day off and what he was going to do and he just grunted something inaudible!  He can be so rude to me sometimes!”

I realized mom and dad are getting older, cranky, ornery in their elder married years.  They are the stereotypical odd couple.  They’ve been married over forty years.

“I want to thank you for going to your eye doctor’s appointment yesterday,” mom then said. “That worried me more than anything that you would have a panic attack and wouldn’t go.  I worry about your eyesight.  And your old glasses looked terrible.  You can’t wear those hard contacts.”

“Mom, you asked me over thirty times if I was going to make it!” I said.

“I know,” she said. “I am sorry.  I was obsessed.  I can be so obsessive compulsive sometimes.  It is only because I care.  I just love you.”

My Favorite Blog…

I have often told Annabel that I am her biggest blog fan.  Story of my Life is your average “day in the life” blog I think most of you who read my blog would enjoy.  She doesn’t do anything special.  There is not a lot of drama.  She doesn’t often air her dirty laundry or reveal sordid details on her blog like I tend to do.  There is no flowery prose.  I don’t think I have ever seen her use dialogue.  But I love her blog.  I love the details of her life she shares.  You really get to know her and what her life is like.  She is probably one of the busiest people I have ever met in my life as well.   She is a constant whir of activity and I think she feels guilty when she allows herself some downtime to watch TV or get online.  Our lives are such polar opposites and I think this I why I find her such an interesting and fascinating person to read about.

Business Talk…

I was overjoyed to have dad back last night for our medication ritual.  Maggie just will not eat her Purina One unless dad puts it out for her.  She is such a choosey and finicky dog.  She loves her routines as much as I, Charlie, or mom.

“I hired a new pharmacist this week,” dad said excitedly. “This will give me much more time off.  I will be 65 this August and need to think about retiring.  I keep hoping Angie will buy the store from me.”

Dad has his first Saturday off in weeks today.  He was so excited last night.   This brings the total number of pharmacists working for him to three.  Dad never talks about the business end of the pharmacy with me so I was very interested in the details of what was going on. 

“A few months back CVS made an offer to buy the store and my clientele,” dad said. “I refused.  I want to keep the pharmacy independently owned for the sake of my customers.”

I have often worried about what dad will do about retiring.  The pharmacy has made him very wealthy, but it has also been a very big ball and chain all these years.  He has worked 12 hour days for decades and I don’t see how he has done it all these years.

The Quest for Soda…

It was thundering and lightning something fierce this morning at 6am as I drove to get my daily sodas.  My windshield wipers were on their highest setting as I pulled into mom and dad’s rear driveway.  I almost couldn't see to drive, but this didn’t stop me on my daily quest.  I tried to do without caffeine, but only made it two days before the withdrawal headaches started.  I also grew wary that my abstinence from one of my favorite daily rituals would make me more mentally interesting. 

I ran up mom and dad’s back steps in a driving rain getting soaking wet.  My cokes were in their plastic sack sitting where they always are in the corner of the back porch.  My curiosity was piqued as the sack felt heavier than usual.  Upon arriving back home, I looked in the sack.  Inside were several goodies much to my excitement.  Mom had included a nice expensive Zippo cigar lighter, a new longer leash for Maggie,  two extra diet Pepsi, and a note.

I thought you would enjoy a few extra things this morning, mom wrote.  Julia bought the cigar lighter for you.  She says they last for months.  I worry about you not being able to light your cigarettes.  Maggie’s old leash was terrible and too short, so I went back to Wal-Mart last night and got her a new one. Don’t tell your father I gave you two extra Pepsi.  I thought you would enjoy that.  Love, mom.

Interesting Night of Weather Ahead! I am so Excited!!!

Interesting Night of Weather Ahead! I am so Excited!!!

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

Putting My Life in God’s Hands…

Well, I made it to my eye doctor’s appointment.  Mom babysat me the whole time making sure I went – sitting in the lobby reading a book as Dr. B checked my eyes.  She even drove me down there fearing I would have an anxiety attack.  I usually drive mom and I.  I was putting my life in God’s hands.  Mom drives like a little old lady. 

“You have Keratacona like your father,” Dr. B said. “A deformation of the corneas.  It sometimes gets worse with age.”

I ordered soft contacts that corrected astigmatism and they will be here Tuesday.  “It’s a crap shoot whether you will be able to see with them or not,” the doctor told me not sounding too reassuring. “We are just going to order you a trial pair.”

It was good seeing Mrs. Barbara – the former stepmother of my best friend in high school.  She didn’t recognize me at first I had lost so much weight in the two years it had been since I had seen her last.  She has worked for Dr. B for literally decades.  

Mom and I left the eye doctor’s and went straight to Wal-Mart.  AGAIN!!!  LOL

“Let’s look at the Blu-Ray players once again,” mom said as we headed towards the very back of the store.

Mom limped along very slowly as I grew impatient and more excited with every step.  I would have to stop walking to let mom catch up with me. 

“We could have high definition movie night every Thursday,” I said excitedly when she caught up to me at one point, trying to think of anything that would sway my mother’s intentions of getting me one.

“Too pricey,” she finally said as we looked at all the models available. “I still think you need to ask your father.  Let’s spend his money instead.”

I laughed and smiled.  I am too afraid of my father and afraid to ask for such a frivolous thing from him.

We left Wal-Mart after mom purchased a new coffee maker and raided my father’s pharmacy for lots of things like nonperishable food, drinks, toilet paper, deodorant, paper towels.

“Jesus Christ!” dad exclaimed as mom enlisted Tim, dad’s home health care supervisor, to load her car with some of the heavier and bulkier goodies.  “It’s like the Mongols have invaded and are looting and plundering the store.”

I told you mom and I are on a high.

Mom and I arrived back her house just as Helen was putting the finishing touches on supper.  She had cooked fried pork chops, squash with Vidalia onions, green beans with red skinned new potatoes, cornbread, salad with ranch dressing, and banana pudding.  I wanted to eat mine at my house so Helen made me a big to-go plate of food. 

“Mrs. Martha? Can I borrow forty dollars?” Helen asked mom as I listened in intently, ever mindful of the interaction between mom and Helen which is always interesting.

Mom reached into her purse and gave Helen the money.

“Don’t you dare tell your father Helen borrowed money from me,” she told me. “He would jump all over her saying she was taking advantage of me and my tendency to be soft about such things.”

I promised I wouldn’t and left to drive home to eat.  It has been nice being back home this evening and I am fixing to settle into my lazy boy and listen to weather radio for hours.  Another purchase from Wal-Mart today.  I hope you’ve all had a good day and I will write again in the morning.   

My Thoughts at the End of the Blogging Day…

Putting My Life in God’s Hands…

Well, I made it to my eye doctor’s appointment.  Mom babysat me the whole time making sure I went – sitting in the lobby reading a book as Dr. B checked my eyes.  She even drove me down there fearing I would have an anxiety attack.  I usually drive mom and I.  I was putting my life in God’s hands.  Mom drives like a little old lady. 

“You have Keratacona like your father,” Dr. B said. “A deformation of the corneas.  It sometimes gets worse with age.”

I ordered soft contacts that corrected astigmatism and they will be here Tuesday.  “It’s a crap shoot whether you will be able to see with them or not,” the doctor told me not sounding too reassuring. “We are just going to order you a trial pair.”

It was good seeing Mrs. Barbara – the former stepmother of my best friend in high school.  She didn’t recognize me at first I had lost so much weight in the two years it had been since I had seen her last.  She has worked for Dr. B for literally decades.  

Mom and I left the eye doctor’s and went straight to Wal-Mart.  AGAIN!!!  LOL

“Let’s look at the Blu-Ray players once again,” mom said as we headed towards the very back of the store.

Mom limped along very slowly as I grew impatient and more excited with every step.  I would have to stop walking to let mom catch up with me. 

“We could have high definition movie night every Thursday,” I said excitedly when she caught up to me at one point, trying to think of anything that would sway my mother’s intentions of getting me one.

“Too pricey,” she finally said as we looked at all the models available. “I still think you need to ask your father.  Let’s spend his money instead.”

I laughed and smiled.  I am too afraid of my father and afraid to ask for such a frivolous thing from him.

We left Wal-Mart after mom purchased a new coffee maker and raided my father’s pharmacy for lots of things like nonperishable food, drinks, toilet paper, deodorant, paper towels.

“Jesus Christ!” dad exclaimed as mom enlisted Tim, dad’s home health care supervisor, to load her car with some of the heavier and bulkier goodies.  “It’s like the Mongols have invaded and are looting and plundering the store.”

I told you mom and I are on a high.

Mom and I arrived back her house just as Helen was putting the finishing touches on supper.  She had cooked fried pork chops, squash with Vidalia onions, green beans with red skinned new potatoes, cornbread, salad with ranch dressing, and banana pudding.  I wanted to eat mine at my house so Helen made me a big to-go plate of food. 

“Mrs. Martha? Can I borrow forty dollars?” Helen asked mom as I listened in intently, ever mindful of the interaction between mom and Helen which is always interesting.

Mom reached into her purse and gave Helen the money.

“Don’t you dare tell your father Helen borrowed money from me,” she told me. “He would jump all over her saying she was taking advantage of me and my tendency to be soft about such things.”

I promised I wouldn’t and left to drive home to eat.  It has been nice being back home this evening and I am fixing to settle into my lazy boy and listen to weather radio for hours.  Another purchase from Wal-Mart today.  I hope you’ve all had a good day and I will write again in the morning.   

My Thoughts For the Blogging Day…

My Constant Companion…

Dad was in Monroe, Georgia for a 50th wedding anniversary yesterday.  Mom was feeling mentally interesting so she stayed in town.  She spent most of the day with me.  We are both on a high these days and are very busy souls.  I keep expecting the great crash for both of us that will put us in bed for a few weeks.  We went to Wal-Mart twice yesterday to get various things.   The audio/visual cables for my home theater cost $90 dollars alone.

“Just how much have we spent at Wal-Mart these past few days?” mom asked me as we sat out in the parking lot of that retail establishment.

“I’d say around $250 dollars,” was my reply.

I never did get my Blu-Ray player.  Mom said that was too rich for her blood after we tallied up the cost of the player, the cables and everything.  The price advertised online didn’t match the price in store that I was hoping to get and that I was using as leverage to obtain it.   It would have been around $150 dollars in all to purchase it plus a few Blu-Ray discs to watch as well.

Mom was obsessing over various foods yesterday.  We went to Kroger to buy her some stuff to eat that was very easy to fix.  Microwave foods.

“I am just fat as a cow,” she said as we stood in line for our purchase. “But I am okay with that.”

I smiled. Mom really isn’t that fat.  My father’s constant nagging about her needing to lose weight doesn’t help matters and has caused mom to develop a complex.  Dad is on a strict diet to lose ten pounds and wants mom to suffer as well I think.  Misery loves company as they say.

The Bringer of Gifts… 

Charlie brought my medications last night.  It was nice getting them at 8pm instead of 9:30 or 10:00.  Charlie brought me a six pack of Lipton carbonated green teas and they were delicious and such a treat.

“It is my new favorite drink,” he said as he sat on the couch and lavished Maggie with attention.

Charlie also brought me a sack from Taco Bell containing six Tacos.  It was a dangerous bulimia moment as I was hungry and wanted to eat all six.  I ate three and went to bed.   Phew!  Fast food is such a dangerous binge food for me.  I don’t get it but usually once a week and I have to unabashedly say I love it despite all the warnings of how bad it is for you. 

“I’ve got something for you in the car,” Charlie said after we waited the thirty minutes for my medications to take effect.  Charlie was under strict orders from dad to do so.  He usually just gives me my medications, sees Maggie a few moments, and leaves.  A few moments later, Charlie brought in this very large, ornate, and beautiful mirror to go over my piano in the den.  I thanked him profusely.  It really was gorgeous.

My Thoughts For the Blogging Day…

My Constant Companion…

Dad was in Monroe, Georgia for a 50th wedding anniversary yesterday.  Mom was feeling mentally interesting so she stayed in town.  She spent most of the day with me.  We are both on a high these days and are very busy souls.  I keep expecting the great crash for both of us that will put us in bed for a few weeks.  We went to Wal-Mart twice yesterday to get various things.   The audio/visual cables for my home theater cost $90 dollars alone.

“Just how much have we spent at Wal-Mart these past few days?” mom asked me as we sat out in the parking lot of that retail establishment.

“I’d say around $250 dollars,” was my reply.

I never did get my Blu-Ray player.  Mom said that was too rich for her blood after we tallied up the cost of the player, the cables and everything.  The price advertised online didn’t match the price in store that I was hoping to get and that I was using as leverage to obtain it.   It would have been around $150 dollars in all to purchase it plus a few Blu-Ray discs to watch as well.

Mom was obsessing over various foods yesterday.  We went to Kroger to buy her some stuff to eat that was very easy to fix.  Microwave foods.

“I am just fat as a cow,” she said as we stood in line for our purchase. “But I am okay with that.”

I smiled. Mom really isn’t that fat.  My father’s constant nagging about her needing to lose weight doesn’t help matters and has caused mom to develop a complex.  Dad is on a strict diet to lose ten pounds and wants mom to suffer as well I think.  Misery loves company as they say.

The Bringer of Gifts… 

Charlie brought my medications last night.  It was nice getting them at 8pm instead of 9:30 or 10:00.  Charlie brought me a six pack of Lipton carbonated green teas and they were delicious and such a treat.

“It is my new favorite drink,” he said as he sat on the couch and lavished Maggie with attention.

Charlie also brought me a sack from Taco Bell containing six Tacos.  It was a dangerous bulimia moment as I was hungry and wanted to eat all six.  I ate three and went to bed.   Phew!  Fast food is such a dangerous binge food for me.  I don’t get it but usually once a week and I have to unabashedly say I love it despite all the warnings of how bad it is for you. 

“I’ve got something for you in the car,” Charlie said after we waited the thirty minutes for my medications to take effect.  Charlie was under strict orders from dad to do so.  He usually just gives me my medications, sees Maggie a few moments, and leaves.  A few moments later, Charlie brought in this very large, ornate, and beautiful mirror to go over my piano in the den.  I thanked him profusely.  It really was gorgeous.

The Great Crash…

George went to jail for a very long time yesterday after his day in court.  They revoked his license so he will never be able to legally drive again.   I am sad and mad – mad at George for doing that to his mother and me.  Now, I know how my father has felt all those years I got DUIs and kept him in a legal stir.   I don’t know what much else to say other than I am deeply depressed.  He was one of my only and best friends despite all his problems. 

The Great Crash…

George went to jail for a very long time yesterday after his day in court.  They revoked his license so he will never be able to legally drive again.   I am sad and mad – mad at George for doing that to his mother and me.  Now, I know how my father has felt all those years I got DUIs and kept him in a legal stir.   I don’t know what much else to say other than I am deeply depressed.  He was one of my only and best friends despite all his problems. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Manipulative I am Not…

I thought about Christina’s comment yesterday about me being manipulative with my mother all night.  I am so sensitive socially and it worried the shit outta me.  I decided I had done nothing wrong.  If I wanted to be manipulative then I would have lied and told my mother it had something to do with the Internet and that I couldn’t get online without it.  She wouldn’t have known the difference being completely clueless about such things and she knows all too keenly what the Internet and my journal mean to me.  She would have spent the money without question so I wouldn’t have to do without.  We would have went to Wal-Mart right then and there just to get me back on the internet. 

The Interesting People in my Life…

I ran into Charlie this morning on my way to get my diet Pepsi.  “Hey Andrew!” he said excitedly and happily upon seeing me as I rolled down the window of my car.  He was over at my late grandmother’s house unloading things into the basement. 

“Charlie?” I asked after getting out of my car. “Do you still have my home theater receiver in the basement?  I also need my subwoofer.”

We looked in my old den and there they sat.  I was so relieved.  The receiver I had been using is almost 20 years old and this receiver was my nice $500 dollar Dolby digital receiver I bought when I was married a few years ago.  I don’t know why I haven’t gotten them sooner.  I just haven’t been interested in home theater or TV for years, and now I am.  My pendulum is swinging much like mom’s it seems.

The Cord Conundrum…

“Dad?” I asked this morning after calling him on his cell phone.  He was driving to work. “Can I spend some extra money to buy some audio/visual cords for my home theater?  Mom only spent $38 dollars on my groceries yesterday so I would like to use the extra money for that.”

“Sure,” he said. “Why did your mother only spend $38 dollars?  Do you have enough food?  You all usually spend $85”

“My meals were on sale for $2 dollars each.  That’s why,” I replied.

“Your mother should have spent the whole $85 on the meals and we would have put some in the freezer at our house,  That was a good deal.”

“I guess she wasn’t thinking,” I said.

Back Peddling on the Digital Cable…

One of the bigger reasons I wanted digital cable besides the HDTV channels was to get BBC America.  I love British comedies and adore Eastenders and Coronation Street.  I was so dismayed when I realized BBC America was catering to an American Audience and didn’t have any of these wonderful programs on air.  Their programming, to be frank, is quite crappy.  I called my cable company this morning to cancel digital cable and all the HBO, Showtime, and Starz channels I was receiving. 

“Can I just get the 30 HDTV channels?” I asked. “I don’t want the digital cable lineup or the movie channels.”

“Sure,” the lady said. “It will only be ten extra dollars a month instead of forty.”

I sighed with relief and said to cancel the channels.  Within thirty minutes, I checked the TV and I am only receiving basic cable plus the HDTV channels.  Dad will be so proud of me for saving money. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Manipulative I am Not…

I thought about Christina’s comment yesterday about me being manipulative with my mother all night.  I am so sensitive socially and it worried the shit outta me.  I decided I had done nothing wrong.  If I wanted to be manipulative then I would have lied and told my mother it had something to do with the Internet and that I couldn’t get online without it.  She wouldn’t have known the difference being completely clueless about such things and she knows all too keenly what the Internet and my journal mean to me.  She would have spent the money without question so I wouldn’t have to do without.  We would have went to Wal-Mart right then and there just to get me back on the internet. 

The Interesting People in my Life…

I ran into Charlie this morning on my way to get my diet Pepsi.  “Hey Andrew!” he said excitedly and happily upon seeing me as I rolled down the window of my car.  He was over at my late grandmother’s house unloading things into the basement. 

“Charlie?” I asked after getting out of my car. “Do you still have my home theater receiver in the basement?  I also need my subwoofer.”

We looked in my old den and there they sat.  I was so relieved.  The receiver I had been using is almost 20 years old and this receiver was my nice $500 dollar Dolby digital receiver I bought when I was married a few years ago.  I don’t know why I haven’t gotten them sooner.  I just haven’t been interested in home theater or TV for years, and now I am.  My pendulum is swinging much like mom’s it seems.

The Cord Conundrum…

“Dad?” I asked this morning after calling him on his cell phone.  He was driving to work. “Can I spend some extra money to buy some audio/visual cords for my home theater?  Mom only spent $38 dollars on my groceries yesterday so I would like to use the extra money for that.”

“Sure,” he said. “Why did your mother only spend $38 dollars?  Do you have enough food?  You all usually spend $85”

“My meals were on sale for $2 dollars each.  That’s why,” I replied.

“Your mother should have spent the whole $85 on the meals and we would have put some in the freezer at our house,  That was a good deal.”

“I guess she wasn’t thinking,” I said.

Back Peddling on the Digital Cable…

One of the bigger reasons I wanted digital cable besides the HDTV channels was to get BBC America.  I love British comedies and adore Eastenders and Coronation Street.  I was so dismayed when I realized BBC America was catering to an American Audience and didn’t have any of these wonderful programs on air.  Their programming, to be frank, is quite crappy.  I called my cable company this morning to cancel digital cable and all the HBO, Showtime, and Starz channels I was receiving. 

“Can I just get the 30 HDTV channels?” I asked. “I don’t want the digital cable lineup or the movie channels.”

“Sure,” the lady said. “It will only be ten extra dollars a month instead of forty.”

I sighed with relief and said to cancel the channels.  Within thirty minutes, I checked the TV and I am only receiving basic cable plus the HDTV channels.  Dad will be so proud of me for saving money.