Dad was regaling me in a story of when he was in basic training and army boot camp when I was a very young child.
“They wouldn’t believe me when I said my arm was broken,” dad told me last night. “They made me jog for miles with a film projector on my shoulder.”
“I can’t imagine you being in boot camp,” I told my father. “You were always so independent minded.”
“I was so scared I was going to have to go to Vietnam,” dad replied with a shiver at the thought. “You were born and your brother was on the way.”
Luckily, my father never had to go to Vietnam, but took a desk job as a clerk for a local General. The fall of Saigon happened not too long after my father entered the military.
The State of Andrew…
I am not feeling my best this morning. It all started with a customer last night that left me feeling flustered – one of those boisterous, bull in a china shop type customers. Then I felt clumsy for the rest of the night as if someone had stolen my self confidence. I am still not doing very well when it comes to conflict with another person. My therapist is helping me with it, but old habits and patterns die hard. The anxiety and racing heart are the most prominent symptoms I have to deal with – that old flight or fight syndrome that comes when my adrenaline gets to pumping through my veins.
One of the biggest things I have been working on with my therapist is setting healthy boundaries with family and friends. Many times a co-worker, friend, or family member has run roughshod through my life. Also, the older I get the more prevalent is the fact that I need a nice quiet existence – just one of many reasons I let Stacey say goodbye to my life and go about her merry way.
A Clean House and a Healthier Mind…
I did manage to get my house cleaned up very nicely yesterday. I was telling dad about it on the phone and he immediately drove over to look it.
“You got that ability from you mother,” dad told me astonished. “She could clean the house in a matter of a few hours.”
“When the urge hits me, I just have to get up and get busy,” I told my father. “I just have to go with the urge to clean and I can get lots done.”