Monday, February 14, 2011

Sir! Yes Sir!

Dad was regaling me in a story of when he was in basic training and army boot camp when I was a very young child.

“They wouldn’t believe me when I said my arm was broken,” dad told me last night.  “They made me jog for miles with a film projector on my shoulder.”

“I can’t imagine you being in boot camp,” I told my father. “You were always so independent minded.”

“I was so scared I was going to have to go to Vietnam,” dad replied with a shiver at the thought.  “You were born and your brother was on the way.”

Luckily, my father never had to go to Vietnam, but took a desk job as a clerk for a local General.  The fall of Saigon happened not too long after my father entered the military.

The State of Andrew…

I am not feeling my best this morning.  It all started with a customer last night that left me feeling flustered – one of those boisterous, bull in a china shop type customers.  Then I felt clumsy for the rest of the night as if someone had stolen my self confidence. I am still not doing very well when it comes to conflict with another person.  My therapist is helping me with it, but old habits and patterns die hard.  The anxiety and racing heart are the most prominent symptoms I have to deal with – that old flight or fight syndrome that comes when my adrenaline gets to pumping through my veins.  

One of the biggest things I have been working on with my therapist is setting healthy boundaries with family and friends.  Many times a co-worker, friend, or family member has run roughshod through my life.   Also, the older I get the more prevalent is the fact that I need a nice quiet existence  – just one of many reasons I let Stacey say goodbye to my life and go about her merry way.

A Clean House and a Healthier Mind…

I did manage to get my house cleaned up very nicely yesterday.  I was telling dad about it on the phone and he immediately drove over to look it.

“You got that ability from you mother,” dad told me astonished.  “She could clean the house in a matter of a few hours.”

“When the urge hits me, I just have to get up and get busy,” I told my father. “I just have to go with the urge to clean and I can get lots done.”


Sharon said...

Everyone has times when other people make them doubt themselves and feel uncertain. I understand when it happens to you it shakes you up hard. I'm glad to hear this is something you're working on with your therapist. This might just be my opinion, but I think you're doing remarkably well. And I hope that you feel pride in all the progress you've made so far. Good for you for setting those boundaries!!

Tee said...

You are doing so well. It is a very good thing to set boundaries, we all need them. I'm with you on the nice quiet existence.

My sweet husband cracked both femurs in his legs during basic training. The Dr. put him on restricted running. Hubby was afraid they were going to recycle him through basic, but the drill sgt. borrowed one of his shirts and had someone else run the last test for him. He managed to stay out of Vietnam as well. I prayed really hard.

Now I have got to get going and clean my house.

Justfly said...

Andrew, I have been a customer service agent for nine years. When I have a "challenging" customer, even when I know they are a jerk, it still upsets me very much that the situation happened. It can take me a couple of days to get over it. It is completely normal for a person that has feelings to get over it.

I wish you could come help me clean my house!

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JCK said...

You rock, man!! You really do.

You have accomplished so much in the past few months. I hope you remember that.

Many of your readers can sympathize with you -- A jerk comes into the workplace and makes life miserable for a while. What's a guy or gal to do about that? It sounds like you did the right thing.

Truth be told, even those of us who deal with jerks everyday still get all bent out of shape for a while. I remember one jerk who had me all pissed off, anxious, and scared for almost a week. That encounter kept running through my mind, over and over, but you know what? I came to realize that he was not worth worrying about. He was a nobody. He might have had some merits as a human being, but he didn't try his best to express his human side. *He* made the choice to ostracize himself from society, and it was not a failure within me.

Sadly, there are people out there who get off on putting decent people through this.

How do you think you would have dealt with this situation three years ago?

It sounds like you are doing pretty darn well, my friend.


Summer said...

JCK is right. You've got a good handle on things and you have many new and great accomplishments. Don't let one person get you down.

MeLuv said...

I rarely ever comment but have never left your blog! Just so you know....