One Single Solitary Soul…

I only had one customer for the whole night of work – one single solitary soul. I am not kidding!  A cute little black lady needed a new cordless phone.  She wanted a brand name phone like Sony or Panasonic, but I convinced her into buying one of our V-Tech cordless phones which are $20 dollars cheaper. I assured her it was a good purchase and that my very own V-Tech phone has lasted me for over three years.  I would probably get in big trouble with my boss for talking a customer into buying a cheaper product when I could have sold her the name brand item, though. 

Another Week, Another Grocery Day…

Mom was fretting something fierce over grocery day last night and what I needed. It is going to be hard to coordinate being a cook now and not needing so many packaged foods which are easier to shop for. My mother called me about three times until she was satisfied she had written down all the items and ingredients I wanted.  I could hear my father in the background telling mom to not call me so much – that she was going to make me nervous and drive me crazy.  I was just pleased as punch that mom does this for me.  One of my most dreaded and social anxiety ridden chores in life is buying groceries.  It is complete and total sensory overload for me. 

Give Praise where Praise is Due…

Some of you I have grown to be very good online friends with and I missed you all something terrible when I wasn’t feeling well for those two months I was away from blogging and the internet.  I have become very fond of most of you that comment on the blog. I appreciate all of you reading along even if you don’t comment.  Thank you to my special friends and you know who you are – you supportive types who helped me weather some tough and turbulent times – storms I couldn’t weather alone.   You will not be forgotten.

And Now She can Sleep on the Cotton of the Pharaohs…

“Should I wash these sheets before putting them on my bed?” mom asked me excitedly a moment ago on the phone.

“It will make them much, much softer,” I replied.

Mom was so excited to have those new expensive and much more luxurious high thread count sheets.  Mom is not going to drive all the way to Target for just anything.   I was rather surprised mom would even tackle the interstate to go to a nearby town to purchase this.  Thanks to Charlie for the hysteria he stirred up obsessing about these sheets. It got all of the obsessive compulsive souls in the family excited and stirred up as well.

90 Percent of the Time…

I find myself using my iPad to browse the Internet instead of that expensive computer mom bought for me when I was having my melancholy stint. Mom had hoped some of the inheritance money from my grandmother would jolt me out of my malaise. Oddly, I probably spend about 90 percent of the time on my iPad sitting in the den when the computer in my computer room is 10 times more powerful and has a much snappier feel to it.  The other 10 percent of my computer usage is blogging with my new desktop. I still can’t master the iPod’s keyboard. I am just not a hunt and peck keyboard typist.

Geez Louise…

For a guy with social anxieties, I certainly have had my share of social visits lately which is ironic as I tend to hide and stay sequestered in my home when I am not working. Charlie’s oldest son, Al, came by early this morning.  He had a new record player that interfaces with your computer.  He asked me to turn all his vinyl records into mp3s.  It is going to be a big job, but Charlie and Al are like family to me.   I would have never got offered that job in forestry as a research technician if it wasn’t for Al. Luckily, Maggie and Caramel didn't bark the whole time Al was here.  They are both still unsure about him, though.

Charlie and my Father were on the heels of Al this morning as well. They were joking around and acting silly this morning.  Dad loves for me to tell the tales of my mother in her younger years.  He's says my mother and I are uncannily like each other. Mom could do some pretty interesting stuff back then. I shy away from telling all those tales about mom lately, though, worried it would hurt her feelings.

My father has gotten to where he stops by almost every day.  He says he is checking on Maggie and Caramel – making sure they have food and water.  It is just a guise to give my father a chance to be nosy and meddlesome.  Dad insists that the cleanliness of my hose is a direct barometer of how I am doing mentally.  I also caught dad going through my kitchen cabinets this morning looking for contraband.  

Daffodils and Flowering Tulip Trees…

Our faux spring has turned into the real thing.  As I was driving home from my parents house tonight in the twilight, I could see things flowering everywhere. Daffodils. Tulip trees.  One of the perks of living so deep in the South is the mild winters and early springs.

I had a special request for Helen’s meal today.  Dad was hesitant, but let Helen cook it.   It is called Frito pie and one of my favorite Mexican casseroles.  I’m kind of on a Tex-Mex kick anyway.  Dad reluctantly agreed it was good, and I smiled when he went back for seconds.

“Still gonna give me heartburn,” he grumbled as he stuffed more Frito pie in his face.

Summer had asked if Helen cooks for my parents everyday.  Our big meal is Friday.  Helen cooks breakfast every morning for mom and dad and then puts together something for mom to have for lunch.  Helen prepares a wickedly good tuna salad and chicken salad sandwich. 

Horsefly in Tow…

“Don’t say the big W word or we will have to into work with you,” Charlie told me a moment ago during a short visit,

“You mean Wal-Mart?” I whispered.

“Yes! Damnit! Horsefly is super sensitive tonight and is ready to shop!”

I could hear Horsefly in my bathroom flushing my toilet over and over doing his quality control test.

“I mistakenly said Kentucky Fried Chicken an hour ago and I had to sit out in the car as he sat and ate a chicken tenders meal.”

I smiled and thought of how Charlie has his hands full with his autistic son after working all day. Out of all the years I have known him, I have never heard Charlie complain or say a bad word about Randall.

It’s Got to be the Egyptian Cotton…  

Moms gotten in on the fervor Charlie has created around the luxurious sheets I got for Christmas.  Mom called me today wanting some of those sheets as well.

“How much is the thread count?” mom asked.

“600 or more,” I replied as I could hear mom writing the number down.

“And it has to be Egyptian cotton?” mom asked.

“They say is softer than regular cotton,” I replied.

Mom said she was headed for Target in the morning.   

A Chocolate Chip Treat…

I drove over to get my Coca-Colas this morning to find a special treat in the already Coke laden bag.  My cousin Jean is here from south Georgia and she sent me a big bag of her homemade chocolate chip and walnut cookies.  I called dad on his cellphone as soon as when I got home.

“Tell Jean I said thanks for the cookies,” I told my father.

“She wants to see you today so when you get up and going after sleeping come over here and eat supper with us,” my father replied. 

I told dad I would be up by late afternoon. 

Got that Special Mexican Feeling Going On…

I cooked chili in my crock pot last night using dad’s recipe minus the beans. The house smelled absolutely wonderful when I got home from working all night.  It was delicious with the toasted barbeque bread I ate it with.  I now have enough food cooked to last me a few days and I will probably still have to put some in the freezer for a later date.  My next foray into cooking in a crockpot is to cook a pot roast with potatoes and carrots. 

Come On In Charlie!

Charlie came over for a while last night just to visit.  I don’t think I’ve seen Charlie in days. Charlie always checks my mail to see if there was anything for him.  Charlie actually gets more mail here than I do.  Dad says he is hiding bills from his wife. 

“You’re too smart to be working at Wal-Mart,” he told me as he sat on the couch as he often does.

Dad often tells me the same thing. 

“I love my job,” I replied back honestly. “I have very little pressure on me.” 

“Well, I will be honest with you,” Charlie said. “Your father thought you were going to ruin your life.  None of us would have thought you would still be working after all these many months.”

Isn’t it awesome when you can prove the naysayers wrong?

Whew!

I arrived home from work this morning to find police cars surrounding my elderly neighbor’s house. There were several policemen in the front yard talking and I thought the worst.  I walked down the street  after pulling into my driveway to nosily find out what was going on.  I would hate for something to happen to Mr. Ed.  His deceased wife taught me piano for over ten years. He has often said that I probably went a long way to sending one of his kids to college with all the tuition my parents paid for piano lessons.   

“He’s just a little mixed up,” a policeman kindly told me. “We have an ambulance on the way which will take him to the emergency room to get him checked out.”

I walked back to my house hoping they would call his children.  Ed needs assisted living as soon as possible.  I think the time has come where he can no longer live alone.  I called dad and told him.  He said he was afraid this would happen soon.  Dad said he was in Dr. Kamath’s office the other day for an appointment and he didn’t actually have an appointment to see the doctor.  I shuddered at the thought of Ed driving down busy highway 29 in the middle of the day.

A Night that Flew By…

I had a great night at work that just flew by.  I love nights like this.  I set up some TVs for display and stocked items for the rest of the night.  I had all the TVs tuned to CNN’s Headline News last night instead of the “Wal-Mart Channel” and wondered why the news always seems to be negative and not positive. It seems like the middle east is a row of dominoes ready to fall.  I only had four customers for the whole night which is pretty typical for me.  One customer was looking for a new digital camera.  I am biased toward Canon digital cameras and have had the best luck with them. Nikon is a close second. Another customer wanted an HDTV over-the-air antenna.  I astutely told them that they can still pick up the basic HDTV channels if they have basic cable.  Our cable company doesn’t advertise this hoping you will purchase the HDTV channel lineup.

The Dogs Must Have Their Biscuits…

I was greeted by Anne’s welcoming voice as I pulled up to the drive thru to order my biscuits this morning.  She said she hated to be at work so early – that they’ve had her working afternoons instead lately.  I joked about this being the dog’s “Happy Meals.”

“Your not going to get your biscuits as well?” she asked.

“I’ve got a crockpot of spaghetti sauce waiting on me when I get home,” I replied. 

She said that sounded delicious and that she wasn’t much of a cook.

Faux Spring?

The weather has been uncommonly warm around here lately.  I told dad last night that we were having our faux spring.  A certain deeply purple flowered weed is blooming in everyone’s yards that just looks beautiful.   The grass is also greening up as well.  I just drove over to get my cokes in a t-shirt and shorts.  My favorite Vegan Twitterer is posting messages that its been in the eighties around Orlando. 

“This is going to kill everything if the weather turns drastically cold again,” dad told me which worried me. 

What a Crock! But it’s Got a Pot!

Thank you all for the suggestion of a crockpot.  Why didn’t I think of that?  I have a big pot of spaghetti sauce that I just started this afternoon.  Spaghetti will be had tomorrow when I get off.  I also printed out the recipe suggestions.  I am still going to get the dog's sausage biscuits in the morning, though.  I think that is a cherished ritual for them that they would hate to see stopped.

This afternoon after I awoke from my morning slumber was spent over at George’s house.  I helped him put on new valve cover gaskets on the V8 engine of his Caprice.   He had several small oil leaks.  George says he is going to sell it so we will wait and see.  George has already got several notices from the state about the insurance being out of date.  Caprices are all the rage with young black men in town these days so the market is good for selling and George’s Caprice has been babied back into good shape.   I know he is going to hate to see it go, but me and Mrs. Florene see it as a temptation he just doesn’t need right now.  He has wanted to drive to work several times and we all have to talked him out of making that disastrous decision. One simple fender bender and it would mean back to prison for George.

Last night was a school night I am sure.  Imagine my surprise when a small boy walked into my department after eleven. 

“Can I play video games?” he asked. 

“Where’s your momma?” I asked as I got down on my haunches beside him so I could see his face good. 

“She’s buying groceries,” he replied. 

I guess it’s none of my business, but that child should have been home asleep on a school night.  Things like that worry me and I thought about it for the rest of the night.  That is something that my mother despite all her myriad of problems would have never done.   

“Who’s the speaker of the house?” Jim asked testing me as he walked up to buy his sandwich early in the morning around three. 

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed trying to remember so I could pass Jim’s test.  “It’s that guy that cries all the time about everything.”

Jim burst out laughing, shaking my hand. 

I had gotten in a discussion with my mother yesterday and asked her why didn’t she homeschool me, my brother and my sister.

“Oh, I wasn’t smart enough to homeschool you all!” she exclaimed.

“But you had a master’s degree in public education!” I replied stymied. 

I was telling this to Jim.  Jim thought it was best for a young child’s develop for all children be schooled together – that it would help with their socialization skills. 

A Pleasure of a Put-together…

I spent all night putting together a rather large Secure Digital High Capacity (SDHC) memory card sales display.  It took me hours to finally finish it.  The prices were so good that I bought a 16gb SDHC model for my camera as well.  You could tell the person who wrote the instructions was a nonnative English speaker, though.  It was a buggar to put together correctly using the garbled Engrish directions.  I like doing this kind of work, though, as it preoccupies me all night and I stay busy and awake. It seemed like the time flew by and it was time for me to go home.    

George arrived about 5am and told me his mother had half a chocolate pound cake she wanted to give to me.  Oh Joy! I swung by Mrs. Florene’s and George’s house after making my daily foray to McDonald’s for I and the dogs.

“I cooked two more for the church bake sale,” Mrs. Florene told me.  “They turned out pretty good for being in a hurry.”

The only downside to the pound cake being chocolate was that the dogs couldn’t have any – chocolate being toxic to dogs.  Maggie has a terrible sweet tooth and it about drove her crazy when I was having a slice before retiring this morning.  Mrs. Florene about outdid herself as well.  It was some the creamiest and most decadent chocolate icing I had ever tasted – almost like chocolate silk. 

Planning for Grocery Day…

I am going to try something different today and try to cook every day this week.  Mom keeps telling me all that prepackaged and prepared food I eat must be bad for me, and she is right.  It also generates a ton of trash as well.  She called me last night and we both brainstormed on stuff that would be nutritious and easy to cook.  We’ve tried this before, but I easily get tired after working all night and just don’t feel like cooking when I get off.  I could hear dad keep telling mom over the phone to find some frozen meals for me to eat, but they are pretty bad for you as well with all the fat and sodium.  

A Railroader’s Dream…

The railroad line from New Orleans to Atlanta is just down the street from my house.  The economy must be finally booming as I hear dozens of trains everyday lately – more than I ever have since moving into this house several years ago.  I keep saying I am going to get back to one of my favorite obsessions over the years.  Rail fanning.   I like to keep a collection of photos of the locomotives.  Oddball locomotives are even more fun to see.  The locomotives of my youth are slowly fading away, though, so it’s now or never.  

All Smiles On This Face…

I was riding around late last night after midnight with no real destination in mind – mainly driving around the old country back roads enjoying my night off.  I was also enjoying listening to my new car stereo immensely.  I had to stop and get some gas at one point.  “This is so novel!” I thought as I swiped my debit card at the pump and started to fill up. It never gets old after all those many years I had to do without money to do something as routine as fill my car with gas.  And do something as routine as buying a candy bar and a “big gulp” soda. Any of these orchestrations would involve in me having to rally the troops who are mom and dad and trying to find a time where they could go take me and do these simple things.  Many times I went without something I needed just so I wouldn’t have to go through all that rigmarole.  It made me realize an austere, complicated life was not for me nor was I going to live that way anymore.

The Magoos are in the House… 

I was telling Mrs. Florene this morning about having to get my license renewed recently and that I almost didn’t pass the eye exam.

“Lord honey!” Mrs. Florene told me. “I know I would probably not pass it as well.”

“They may only do that for commercial driver’s licenses,” I replied to assuage her worries, hoping I was correct.

George’s license is revoked.  He will never again be able to legally drive in Alabama. 

Buffon…

Dad asked me to regale him again in the tale of mom’s big hair yesterday as he has often done over the years.  I used to say all the time that my mother’s personality changes starkly and she is more sure of herself and cocky on the days she gets her hair done.  I call it, “mom’s having a big hair day,”  Or “big hair day” for short.  My father laughs and laughs when I talk about this.

“It’s true!” dad replied laughing. “You got that right on the money.”

“Well it takes one to know one,” I replied to my father with a smile. “Mom and I are just alike.”

Dad then regaled me in a tale of two arguing souls last night.

“Your mother bought some Weight Watchers ice cream sandwiches yesterday,” dad told me. “But they were chocolate.  I told your mother a traditional ice cream sandwich would only have vanilla ice cream.”

“What did mom say?” I asked my father.

“She went and threw out all 5 boxes of them in the trash! She was pissed at me when she had to drive all the way to Wal-Mart to buy more.”

Shades of my old pre-medicated mother was what I thought.

Helen Fridays…

It is always nice on Fridays when I get a home cooked meal.  Yesterday, Helen cooked bacon wrapped chopped sirloins, baked potatoes, baked beans and a green salad.  

“Let’s start thinking of new foods that Helen would be able to cook,” dad told me last night.  “Today’s meal was a good change from the usual.”

I suggested for next week that Helen cook tacos, refried beans, and Spanish rice. Dad didn’t look too enthusiastic about that saying it would give him heartburn.

Poppa? But I Don’t Want to go to Work!

I guess the honeymoon with work is finally over because the last thing I wanted to do last night was go into work at 11pm yesterday evening.  I ended up staying up all day on the internet with only a few catnaps in-between bouts of browsing.  I was regretting that course of action around 3am this morning when Jim usually visits me.  He came back to purchase his sandwich and drink, and said I looked like death warmed over and that I had black circles under my eyes.  I kept myself awake by drinking lots of sugary caffeinated sodas which probably wasn’t the best thing to do.  The dogs had the right course of action and the most common sense when they got in the bed early yesterday morning and slept all day as usual. I should’ve followed their lead.  Sometimes, you are having so much fun and you just don’t want the fun to end.  I am going to sleep a few hours then get up and go buy myself some chocolate ice cream as consolation. 

Making Musical Memories…

I am on a big Sarah McLachlan kick at the moment. I was looking through mom’s music CD collection yesterday and saw a Sarah McLachlan CD. I had long ago lost all of mine through the divorce and my many moves since.  I downloaded all her CDs on iTunes yesterday and have been enjoying listening to her again after all these years.  I listened to certain songs of hers probably dozens of times yesterday over and over.  I am also so surprised I like Katy Perry so much with her being so mainstream and popular.  I usually shy away from what all the kids are listening to on the radio, but the kids these days seem to be going through an eighties sounding music revival.

We’ve Got Your Back, Mrs. Florene…

“How is your mother doing?” I asked George after he arrived to work this morning. 

“Do you think something is wrong?” George asked kind of defensively.

“I just worry about her driving in the dark.”

“She seems to be doing fine,” George replied. “But it is kind of embarrassing for your mother to have to drive you around at my age.”

I kind of chuckled at George’s last remark.  I shouldn’t laugh because it could be me in the same boat as George with all the times I drank and drove in my younger years. I will be sure to call Mrs. Florene this evening when I get up to check on her.  I haven’t heard from her in a few days.  That must mean things are quiet and good with George.

Whose the Crazy One?

Dad called me last night before work.  He had read a research study the day before yesterday that said adding the medication Abilify to your antidepressant works wonders for depressed people. 

“That drug can really mess up your blood sugar,” I told him bluntly.

“You’re always one step ahead of me,” dad replied. “I was just trying to help.”

“If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be taking any medications at all,” I said brusquely. 

I tried to explain to dad that the side effects of these psychotropic medications are often worse than the mental illness symptoms they are trying to cure.  Right now I am on 1mg of Risperdal taken in the mornings and hope to be off it pretty soon.  It will leave me with only taking my Paxil which is a antidepressant and I take it for my social anxiety symptoms. 

George’s Hamburger Supermodel Quotient…

“Ah, she needs to eat quite a few hamburgers or three,” George told me of one of the buxom, blonde, but unnaturally thin ladies in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition.

It’s no secret that George and I both like larger women – big beautiful women or BBWs as they are called on the Web.

“Most women on TV or in the media all need to eat a few hamburgers,” I honestly replied to George. “They all look emaciated, skeletal and gaunt. Sunken cheeks are just not sexy to me unless you are into the just crawled out of a concentration camp look.”

“Look at this lady from Russia,” I told George as I handed him the magazine and his eyes grew opened wide. 

“Now, she’s voluptuous,” George said excitedly. “She probably only needs about one hamburger.”

I got giddy and started to laugh at my and George’s “rating” all the models based on what I now call George’s hamburger supermodel quotient.   It was a fun if silly way to end my shift this morning. 

Not Going to be the Vegan Spokesperson Anytime Soon…

I also took the opportunity to ask George what he thought of all the Vegans in the world this morning for a cheap thrill.  Certain topics can sure push George’s buttons and this is one of them.  And you thought the Protestant's disdain for the Catholics was bad.

“They are starving themselves to a slow death,” George told me very animatedly.  “I heard most have to end up taking vitamin and mineral supplements to just survive in later years.”

I raised an eyebrow at George saying that.  George’s sources of information such as this can be kind of spurious at best and cause me great skepticism.  George then started his “nuts and twigs” speech and I couldn’t help but smile.  You have to remember that Mrs. Florene is a wonderful Southern soul food cook so George was raised a meat and potatoes kind of guy.  He just has a tendency to be blatantly biased.

A Memorable iPod Moment…

“Can you change the batteries on the iPod?” a fellow asked me last night after buying an iPod from me the night before last. 

“Sadly, No,” I replied to the man. “We live in the age of throwaway electronics. It would probably be cheaper just to buy a new iPod even if you could change the battery.”

I did make the guy feel better when I told him my iPod was over a year old and working just as good as the day it was bought the Christmas before last. 

Cycles…

My father claims my mother and I go through psychiatric cycles.  He says it is easy to tell when we are up or down or going through a transition.  I will have to admit my foray into “darkness” for two months after being on a high for many months was telling.  I just don’t think there is a drug to cure it, though. Is depression even quantifiable? And what really is the efficacy of all these drugs that are prescribed for it? Winston Churchill would call this his “black dog” that plagued him from time to time causing him a deep feeling of melancholy.  I feel it is just natural feelings we all express and feel in life. Some of us just feel them more acutely and deeply. Mom cycles on a regular week to week basis.  Right now, she is sleeping a lot and not answering the phone.  Next week, she will be calling me a lot and driving around running errands. 

A Gag Order for George…

I probably censor about half of what George will say in our conversations as I transcribe them to the blog.   I just don’t want to offend my readership.  This morning George was going on about “those sandniggas” in Iraq.  George thinks anyone in the middle east is completely and totally nuts – brainwashed by Islam's teachings.  I told him this morning that he watches too much commercial television and most Muslims are good people.  George is the one who is completely brainwashed buying into the media’s news, hype and views.

“Would you condemn all of Christianity just because one nut job knucklehead like Fred Phelps is protesting at soldier’s funerals?” I asked George trying to get him to be more broad and open minded.

Tomorrow I am going to ask George what he thinks of Vegans.  George will often say they eat nothing but nuts and twigs.   The nuts and twigs part always makes me crack up.

iPad Woes…

I’ve downloaded 3 albums from iTunes via my iPad.  I can’t for the life of me figure out how to get those albums off the iPad  and copied to my computer.  That said, the iPad is the greatest time sink I have ever come across and I say that in a good way.  You can be comfortably reading blogs on your couch as you simultaneously watch TV.  Time flies and you look at your watch and realize 2 hours have passed.  The novelty of it all still hasn’t gone away.

Tripe, Head Cheese and Pig Innards…

“What are you eating?” Jim asked me last night as I was propped up on the counter next to the cash register reading a motorcycle magazine from the magazine rack near my department. 

“Vienna sausages and saltine crackers,” I replied as I rung up his cold cuts and Swiss sub.

“You know what those sausages are made of don’t you?” Jim then asked.

“You sound like my mother when I told her to get me some!” I laughed and then replied.

“Well, if you like head cheese and tripe then that is a good source of them.”

“No wonder Maggie thinks those are God’s gift to earth!”

Sunset and Sunrise…

“Were are you going?” Jan, our cute, nosey, and bubbly cashier, asked inquisitively to me this morning  as I hurried past her at a dizzying stride headed outside. 

“I am going out to see the first light of dawn on what is going to be a fantastic and beautiful day!”

It was 6:45am and the first light was on the horizon.  We were just about to change shifts in my department.  The weather guessers were all predicting highs in the mid-seventies today – a touch of Spring in the air.  Stuff like this reminds me to stop and smell the proverbial coffee so to speak.  The temperature was about 34 degrees so it wasn’t very comfortable, but it certainly wasn’t downright nasty like many of the nights we have been having.  Also, the first few customers after a very quiet night were beginning to filter inside – mainly the grocery crowd.  

Let There Be Colas…

Imagine my disappointment as I headed home and drove to my parent’s house not to find my six sodas for the day on the porch.  I know I drive my parents crazy calling so early in the day, but mom insists on giving me these cokes as her part of taking care of me and my needs.  Dad had promised me they would be on the porch since it wasn’t getting below freezing this morning.  I hated to call, but I am impetuous like my mother.  I managed to get mom to the phone after only two less reputation damaging rings.

“I’ll put them out in just a minute,” my mother replied. 

Thank You!!!

You can easily tell by the amount of comments I am getting these days that I essentially halved my readership while I was not on the internet for so long.  I appreciate those of you that stood by me and even started up webpages in my support.  It didn’t escape me what all my online friends were doing in the hopes of my return.  Thank you dear friends and special people.  Hopefully, I can pay you back by not being so capricious and erratic in the future.  I didn’t mean for it to happen.  I just wasn’t feeling well and communication on the Internet or otherwise was not my forte at the time.

Sir! Yes Sir!

Dad was regaling me in a story of when he was in basic training and army boot camp when I was a very young child.

“They wouldn’t believe me when I said my arm was broken,” dad told me last night.  “They made me jog for miles with a film projector on my shoulder.”

“I can’t imagine you being in boot camp,” I told my father. “You were always so independent minded.”

“I was so scared I was going to have to go to Vietnam,” dad replied with a shiver at the thought.  “You were born and your brother was on the way.”

Luckily, my father never had to go to Vietnam, but took a desk job as a clerk for a local General.  The fall of Saigon happened not too long after my father entered the military.

The State of Andrew…

I am not feeling my best this morning.  It all started with a customer last night that left me feeling flustered – one of those boisterous, bull in a china shop type customers.  Then I felt clumsy for the rest of the night as if someone had stolen my self confidence. I am still not doing very well when it comes to conflict with another person.  My therapist is helping me with it, but old habits and patterns die hard.  The anxiety and racing heart are the most prominent symptoms I have to deal with – that old flight or fight syndrome that comes when my adrenaline gets to pumping through my veins.  

One of the biggest things I have been working on with my therapist is setting healthy boundaries with family and friends.  Many times a co-worker, friend, or family member has run roughshod through my life.   Also, the older I get the more prevalent is the fact that I need a nice quiet existence  – just one of many reasons I let Stacey say goodbye to my life and go about her merry way.

A Clean House and a Healthier Mind…

I did manage to get my house cleaned up very nicely yesterday.  I was telling dad about it on the phone and he immediately drove over to look it.

“You got that ability from you mother,” dad told me astonished.  “She could clean the house in a matter of a few hours.”

“When the urge hits me, I just have to get up and get busy,” I told my father. “I just have to go with the urge to clean and I can get lots done.”

Leaning on the Cold Side…

It was 19 degrees Fahrenheit as I left work with only a very, very light frost.  You would have thought we would have had a hell of a one with it being so cold.  The whims of winter’s touch on the South always escapes me.  I left work and drove directly to McDonald’s ever impatient for my car to warm up.  I was listening to Enya’s The Memory of Trees as I sat shivering and waiting in line.  It started to get warm and I could feel my hands return from numbness as I was ordering my food.  I had hoped to see Anne this morning to chit chat, but a co-worker said she was working the afternoon shift today.   I paid and then pulled forward to get my food.  “This will make for some very happy dogs,” I thought as I grabbed my big bag of McDonald’s goodness and drove home. 

There is always a very hirsute starkly long white haired man walking through my neighborhood as I arrive home from work.  He always waves at me like he knows me and I wave back.  Sometimes, I am tempted to stop and ask him if he needs a ride in the cold.  He certainly looks homeless, but he must be walking to work everyday.  I would love to be nosey and find out his story through life.  People who walk off the beaten path always fascinate me – the fringe dwellers as I call them. 

Mom, lately, hasn’t been putting out my six sodas out for fear of them freezing and bursting overnight on these very chilly nights we have been having.  I called her when I got home to go pick them up after waiting awhile for it to get closer to eight to make sure they were up and going.  I doesn’t take long for me to drink all six cokes.  I do so as I write my blog post of the day.  It is just another of my compulsive idiosyncrasies I bear as a burden in my life. I certainly enjoy them, but most people would chastise me for drinking so many sodas all at once. 

Can someone give me an “Amen” about being off of work tonight?  After I get up today, I am going to work on cleaning my house.  It certainly needs it.  I also have about three loads of laundry that need doing.  I am also going to be on dog hair patrol as well as Maggie seems to explode dog hair in every room she frequently inhabits.   

The State of my Social Media…

I still don’t get Facebook or what is so attractive about it.  I read yesterday on Mashable that Facebook is worth $50 billion dollars.  You really can’t open up and be yourself through that medium.  I haven’t logged into my account in months for what it’s worth.  Hell, I haven’t even checked my email in over three months.  I call these these avenues of contact on the web imposing media instead of social media.   There is a certain woman I am fascinated with on Twitter and will log in from time to time to see what she is up to.  She’s a single Christian and highly anal, also vegan, and posts mainly from work – all the things that would make me most likely not to seek her out as a potential friend or date, but she still fascinates me.  I just wish everything with her wasn’t like pulling teeth to get something done. 

Showered With Praise…

• Dad was showering me with much praise last night before work.  Almost to the point that it made me feel uncomfortable. It is not very often that he has done so in my life.  It gave me a little extra skip in my steps as I walked last night.  Despite being a great source of contention for me over the years, I still dearly love the man.  And I want him to be proud of me.  Dad told me even the color of my skin looked better these days as he was leaving.  I am still very wary of him, though, to a certain degree.  You give dad an inch as far as your personal affairs go and he will take a mile.
• The snow didn’t last long and was melted by lunch.  That’s the great thing about snowfall in the South is that it is gone about as fast as it arrives. It sure was beautiful the other night to see those gigantic snowflakes flying through the air.  It certainly sent a shot of excitement through all the employees working the other night. 
• I had a guy asking me lots of computer building questions last night at about the midnight hour.  I love talking about this kind of stuff. He had initially asked if we sold motherboards, CPUs, and RAM.  I told him the best place to buy such stuff is online.   I also told him to stay away from the new Intel P67 chipset and use the older X58 chipset instead.  The P67 chipset has a bug which causes the serial ATA ports to malfunction over time.
• Today is Helen Fridays and mom will be by late this afternoon to bring me my plate.  I just hope mom gives me the chance to get some good hours of sleep before she arrives.   Dad asked me last night what I wanted Helen to cook just before he was headed to Kroger to get the ingredients. I told him I wanted spareribs and macaroni and cheese.  Dad told me he wanted some of Helen’s deviled eggs and cole slaw and was getting her to fix that as well.  The vegetables of the day are going to be rutabagas and creamed potatoes. 
• My Honda CR-V passed the 98,000 mile mark as I was driving home from work this morning.  It will probably take another two years to get it past the 100,000 mile mark.  If I can just stay away from hitting more deer, It has been a fantastic car to own. 
• God? Please send candy!

Beyond the Midnight Hour…

“It's snowing!” Jan, the cashier on duty this morning, told me very excitedly after she walked back to my deserted little corner of the store.  She knows my penchant and obsession with snow in the South.

“Do you think they will let us go home early?” Jan asked as we walked together so I could go have a look.

I laughed. Highly unlikely was my reply.

I walked to the grocery side of the store and stuck my head out of the big sliding doors -- letting a big blast of cold air in.  Big, fat and wet snowflakes greeted me.  I’d say we got about 2 inches of the frozen stuff.  Fears started to pop into my mind, though, when I thought about Mrs. Florene trying to drive George to work in this mess. I was relieved when George finally showed up a moment ago for work and his cousin, Monte, had given him a ride.

Stumped…

“Do you know if an Xbox Live player can play online with computer players and Playstation3 players?” a young man asked me at the start of my shift.

I hated to tell the guy I didn’t know, but I was stumped.  I told him I would find out and that was a very good question. 

I like these challenges as they keep me on my toes as far as technology and my department go.

God? Please Send Candy!

“Am I buying you too much candy?” mom asked me fretting over the usual suspects this morning 

“Where is this going?” I asked. 

“I just worry about you getting diabetes,” mom replied.

“Well, just get me two bags instead of four as a compromise if it will make you feel better.” I told her. “I just want my disability to cover those kinds of costs.”

I have gotten to where I call my parents the feel good police.  The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away.

What Would You Like on your Tombstone?

“You took like a space cadet this morning,” Jim told me with a warm and kindhearted smile as he came to me to ring up his lunch. 

I smiled back and told him I was going on very little sleep. My eyes were red and bleary looking. 

“They’ve got an Italian cold cuts combo on sell for a good price in the deli – lots of pepperoni,” Jim told me of his lunch.

The sandwich he did bring to me to get rung up looked delicious.   

“What are you going to do when you get off?” Jim then asked me.

“I am craving pizza this morning,” I told him. “I am going to eat a Tombstone pepperoni and then go to bed. It will probably give me terrible heartburn knowing my luck.”

“Well, I am going back to put up more underpriced green beans,” Jim said with a smile as he took leave of my not very social behavior. 

Around 4am to 5am is when things get very interesting as George arrives. 

“Is that the sun I see shining just below the horizon outside?” George asked on one of his breaks of a very beautiful morning unfolding outside the store’s doors. 

“Don’t get too excited,” I told him dourly.  “We are under a winter storm watch.”

“I’ve found someone who has a harder, colder job than me in the mornings,” George told me with a smug look on his face. “It’s the guys who pickup the trash in our neighborhoods.  Those guys must freeze their ass off picking up all that trash.”

I smiled and agreed.  Anything to make George keep his job.  I just hope he keeps working.  Mrs. Florene and I have a lot riding on this. 

Internet Access in a Pasture…

“Where are you?” Charlie asked me over the phone this morning around 8am.

“I am sitting in Jack’s hamburgers in Lafayette drinking a cup of coffee and browsing the internet with my iPad,” I told him. 

“Jack’s in Lafayette has internet access?” Charlie asked sounding incredulous. 

“I would have never guessed it as well.”

I then went on to tell Charlie I was up at the county seat to get my commercial driver’s license renewed.  They couldn’t do it in the Valley.  I barely passed the eye exam this morning – the officer just letting me barely slide by.   I paid my fifty five dollars and walked out with license in hand so glad to have that ordeal over with for four more years. 

Drive-Thru Rendezvous…

“Did you have to work last night?” Anne asked me worriedly with a frown on her face about my night off as I pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru this morning at around 6am.

“My dogs are anal like me and the show must go on,” I told her with a chuckle.

“When will you go to bed?”

“Oh, around lunch time,” I replied. “Possibly sooner.”

Anne sighed a sigh of relief and handed me my big bag of four sausage biscuits and  three hashbrowns.  Anne told me she was also no stranger to working odd hours as well. 

I had both my sausage biscuits eaten by the time I had arrived home giving the other two to the dogs who greedily lapped them up. 

Hirsute Pursuit…

Dad was still going on and on about my haircut last night.  It reminds of me of Hyacinth Bucket on that British Comedy Keeping Up Appearances.  He then told me the next thing I needed to do was to keep my fingernails trimmed on a regular basis.  I didn’t tell him that my iPad would take care of that.  It is impossible to use with longer fingernails. 

“I want you to go back to college,” dad said after asking me to turn up The Weather Channel and he leaned back getting comfortable on the sofa.  “I’ll pay for the costs.”

“I’m just not college material,” I replied to dad honestly before a great deal of money would be spent on a futile effort. “I would go to trade school, though.”

“Like what kind of trade school?” he asked warily.

“To be a computer repairman or a car mechanic,” I replied. “I would love to work on BMWs or Lexus cars.”

Dad wasn’t too happy with the thought of that feeling it was beneath me.  Just give me some tools and an older car with a problem to work on and I will be happy.

After-Thoughts…

We had one of the biggest frosts I have ever seen here this morning.  I hopped in the car and drove up to Kroger to get some sodas a moment ago.  I thought my car would never warm up.  Everything was touched by frost’s cold tendril touch. 

Memories of Anne also come flooding back from grade school as I drove home.  Her sister, Wendy, was my age and a spitfire.  I can’t remember her younger brother’s name, but Anne was always the shy and kind one of the bunch. 

Troubleshooter 2.0

I’ve had a lot of customers wanting to return or exchange their Christmas gifts lately.  I hate when they go to all the trouble to bring a big ticket item back to me and I then have to turn them away telling them to visit customer service halfway across the store.  I can’t handle returns.  Only customer service can.

I was able to help one guy last night sticking to my own electronics mantra to check the simplest of things first. 

“I can’t get music on this damn thing!” the man told me with a woeful air to his voice.  “I plug it in and is just charges.”

“Have you downloaded iTunes?” I asked.

“iTunes?” the man asked with a promising look on his face.  “I will try that when I get home.”

Even my good friend Jim got in on the act last night.

“What does it mean to ‘rip’ music to your mp3 player?”

“That’s where you put in a CD of music in your computer and turn the tracks into MP3s.”

Helen Fridays…

I’ve insisted several times for mom to call me and I would drive over to get Helen’s meals on Friday.  Imagine my surprise as I was sitting at my computer and mom came pulling up with my plate of food yesterday.  It was 34 degrees and pouring down rain – an absolutely deplorable day.  Mom surprised me even further when she stepped out of her  car and opened her umbrella to bring me my plate.

“Love you,” mom said,”I just didn’t want you to get out in this weather. “

Well, the dogs went absolutely nuts at mom’s arrival and the smells of baked ham on my plate. Personally? I ‘m not so big on ham so don’t tell Helen that I gave that part of the meal to the dogs.  I was very content with the biscuits, fried okra, mashed potatoes, and colored butterbeans. 

Handing Over the Reigns…

It is always a totally wonderful feeling when you are very sleepy and very, very tired from last night’s work and you see first shift Derrick walking through the store by the toy department with his lunch and his thermos in hand.  I love my job, but I also love to sleep, and sometimes 7am can’t arrive sooner. 

“Anything interesting happen last night?” Derrick asked me with a warm grin as he clocked in and set his lunch on the counter. 

“It was your standard rendition of third shift,” I told him thankfully this morning.  “Nothing much to report.”

I can remember the first time I met Derrick when I was still doing the shopping cart job.  I thought he was a butch lesbian he was so androgynous.  But I quickly found electronics to be my favorite department to hang out in and found Derrick to be a valuable ally.  The only time I have ever had trouble with doing my job was those two months I was struggling and quit writing my blog.  Derrick always lent me a shoulder to lean on and encouraged me to keep working. I won’t forget it anytime soon. 

“I worked third shift for about a year and loved it,” Derrick also told me this morning.  “It just screws up your sleeping schedules. At least, it did for me.”

Dilation Nation…

George was back to his old self with normal looking eyes this morning.  George’s main concern this morning was staying warm and dry on this very dreary, icy, and overcast day.

“I just worry about you,” I told George of all the fuss his mother and I made over him yesterday.  “I know how sobriety can be tenuous at best.”

“I just need something to take the edge off,” George said of his job. “It can be thoroughly boring and mindless bringing in all those carts every morning.”

“And sitting in a jail cell with a deplorable roommate wasn’t boring and mindless everyday?”

George agreed and told me I had a good point and that he would try and remember it the next time he got down about his job. 

I still struggle with addictions so I can’t be too hard on George.  It has taken many months to cut down my smoking to manageable levels.  I still, too, struggle with my food addictions. 

Impetuous…

One thing that can be aptly said about my mother is that she is impetuous. Mom called me on my way home from work to come and get the dog’s flea treatments.  According to their healthcare calendars it was time. 

“Mom, I will do it later,” I told her as I drove by the new hardware store just before crossing over the interstate. 

“Come now and get their medications,” mom replied. “I know you and you will forget.”

I quickly calmed my mother down and told her I had to get off the phone since I was driving.  Maggie, bless her scratchy heart, hates to have that stuff put on her and is still sulking with me as I write this. 

Strange Bedfellows…

“You’re on something,” I bluntly said to George this morning. “Your pupils are dilated and they look like platters of  new moons!”

“I’m not doing anything illegal if that is what you are thinking,” George replied. “Is it that obvious?  Mom has already said the same thing this morning.”

“What are you taking?” I asked point blank.

“Just some cold and flu medication,” George said diverting his eyes from mine as if he knew he was guilty.   He knew I wouldn’t approve.

“I’ve been addicted and so have you,” I told George, “So I don’t have to lecture you on this fire you are playing with.”

I got more out of George by talking to him before I headed home.  He says he found a website on how to get high legally.  He said he was taking large doses of a certain cough syrup with “DMZ” whatever DMZ is. He says it gives you the same feeling of being drunk without the hangover and loss of control.   My opinion is that there is no such thing as a “free” drunk.  They almost always tend to have consequences. 

Hungry Hungry Hippos…

“Can I ask you something prying and personal?” Anne asked me at the McDonald’s drive-thru this morning. “Do you eat all four of these sausage biscuits every morning?”

I laughed jovially needing such a good laugh this morning.

“I eat two,” I told her, “and my dogs eat the other two.”

“You must really spoil your dogs,” she replied back with a warm smile.

“They are like my kids,” I told her as she handed me my bag of food and I headed for home. 

Do the Nine Lives Come with this Job Title???

I made like a cat this morning and was about to catnap on the counter I was so sleepy.  Anytime I would hear something, I would crack open one eye and make sure my supervisor wasn’t in my department.  I couldn’t wait to get home to my warm bed and my pups.  I also failed miserly on the “don’t browse the Internet at work” mantra I’ve been working on.  Hey! At least I am getting my job done right?  I only browse the Internet in the slowest of times. 

“it is dry this morning and that is nice,” George said upon arrival to work at five. “I don’t have to wear that overly hot rain slicker.”

It was good to see George this morning.  My buddy. George was in an uncommonly good mood for 5am and it was rubbing off on me. Absolutely contagious. 

Do Batteries Ever Make you Excited?

That’s how I felt a moment ago when I went up front to get Jan to ring up two different sets of rechargeable batteries for my digital camera.  I’ve been meaning to do this for months and get my camera back in action.  These new batteries are supposed to be ten times better than their older counterparts – keeping their charge for months.  They were expensive, though, at $8.99 per pack of four.