This Can Begin to Spoil A Deprived and Hungry Soul…

A minute ago, I was sitting in Rodger’s Barbeque eating the lunch special sitting at a corner table. I was juxtaposed by the window to all the new Korean restaurants across the highway that seemingly popped up overnight. I wondered to myself what Korean barbeque was like. I am pretty sure it is sweet and not tangy and vinegary like Southern barbeque. Probably not my cup of tea.  

“Waitress? Can I get a barbeque sandwich to-go?” I asked with a warm smile and with my kindest voice as she then disappeared into the kitchen.

That was Maggie’s sandwich as the waitress handed it to me in a brown paper bag and I went up to put this meal on my tab after leaving a $2 tip on the table.  I watched as the lady cashier up front used a small calculator to tally the cost.

“You have a little over $40 left on your tab,” she told me as I then left and drove home.

I normally would get my meal to-go to eat in the quiet, anxiety free solitude of home, but I felt socially adept and gregarious today.  I was itching for a good conversation and/or companionship.  That feeling of throwing caution to the wind came to mind. Hell, even I can surprise myself sometimes belying my phobias and my nervous, capricious disposition.

Maggie Wins the “She’s A Big Girl!” Award…

Today was trash pickup day here in town – always a busy day for the neighborhood dogs as they try to guard their home turf from the approaching extremely loud contraption on wheels complete with marauding humans.  I loaded up my trashcan and carried it up to the road last night in preparation.  This would always elicit a series of frenetic barking volleys in Maggie’s younger days and years.  She’s comfortably settled into middle adulthood now and barking at the trash men has become very passé much to my benefit.  She will just lay on the back of the couch and blithely watch as they come and go.   This allowed me to sleep in until seven this morning feeling guilty as I did so.  Sadly, we didn’t go for our walk this morning much to Maggie’s disappointment and alarm. I just didn’t wake up. I told Maggie I would make it up to her this afternoon if it isn’t too hot and it is turning out to be a really nice, cool and overcast day much to Maggie’s major benefit.  I hope I didn’t set a precedent this morning as I have grown to enjoy these little walking sojourns as much as Maggie does. I like the way Maggie never, ever tires of it and that every day is always better than the last. It is contagious and encouraging. 

Browser Chitchat…   

Out of curiosity, what Internet browser are you using these days?  We live in a very unique time in the history of the Internet where we have a myriad of good and trouble-free choices.  I used the cumbersome and ungainly Internet Explorer for years and years and just recently switched to Google Chrome.  Wow, It is fast, and also so simple!  I use Mozilla Thunderbird as my email client if I would ever just check it.  It is a rather moot point to say to be honest.  I have an extreme, extreme phobia about checking email. I think it was last winter when I last last checked my email.  That all ties into my social phobias.  No news is the best news as the old saying goes and this policy is easy on my anxiety levels as well.

Always the Simplest Things First…

This always makes me look like a computer genius or computer guru, but it is always rather simple.  Remember me saying that you should always check the simplest things first when assessing a computer problem?  Dad’s Internet was down at the pharmacy since last night and I rode with my father to the pharmacy at 7am to attempt to fix it.  The only thing wrong was that the cable modem had come unplugged from the wall. I had it booted up and running within minutes. My father was back online with much flowery praise being heaped upon me.  I had never seen dad more excited and appreciative of my efforts.

“Opening the doors for customers this morning would have been disastrous without you,” Dad told me as he drove me home relieved.  “We couldn’t even file insurance.”

Did You Win the Food Lottery?

I know that’s what Maggie is thinking these days. It Is either feast or famine at Andrew’s Casa. I even brought Maggie and I sausage biscuits from Mickey D’s this morning feeling frivolous. Of course, Maggie thought that was the best thing since sliced bread. McDonalds needs a much, much better biscuit, though. Hardee’s has the best fast food biscuit in my humble opinion with the steak biscuit being my absolute favorite.

Maggie's Got Sentry Duty…

The Mags knows something interesting is up today.  I guess my excitement and jubilee for this day is contagious and palpable. She’s been sitting on the back of couch watching for my mother to arrive all morning since I’ve gotten home.  Maggie can hear mom’s car long before I can see it and she will alert me when mom is in the neighborhood. So why all the excitement?  It is grocery day – fortuitous for us all. Maggie will want her traditional two cans of Vienna sausages warmed up and I want a big bowl of Frosted Flakes and milk.  Comfort foods for both Maggie and I. I have never seen Maggie try to take a dominant and aggressive role in the relationship between us than she will for those delicious little sausages.  They are that important to her.

The Creepy Jittery Crawlies…

A mysterious car slowly crept up beside Maggie and I on this morning’s walk making me nervous.  It read “Police Interceptor” in bold letters on the dark blue and grey patrol car and realized it was just one of our town’s finest of police. If I were a crack fiend then this would be about the most opportune and prudent time to start running like crazy gangbusters to escape and elude the police -- dropping my crack no doubt in the frenzied volley between drugs and freedom (well, that’s how it always pans out on COPS).

I was getting nervous for a moment there and was relieved it was just one of our good men -- the men and women in blue. He asked me if we were doing okay, to be safe, and then went about his way when I told him we were fine. That’s small town police for ya right there. Good folks just doing their jobs who are underpaid and overworked!

The Nip of Fall in the Air…

I was lamenting the fact that I didn’t wear a light and warm jacket or fleece pull-over this morning halfway through our walk.  It was downright cold and chilly for me with my being so cold natured with temperatures in the low to mid sixties. All I had on was a purple t-shirt, ankle socks, and my walking shorts and shoes.  Maggie was in her element, though. Undaunted. The chill seemed to invigorate her. She had the best time of her life this morning which brought a big huge happy smile to my face (go endorphins go!) We went and greeted each dog that is on the main thoroughfare in front of my house that runs through our sprawling neighborhood. I about had to run to keep up with Maggie on her retractable leash. She was definitely on a mission this morning. No doubt, the neighborhood dogs were conspiring to bark all night tomorrow. Maggie was being the messenger, instigator and coordinator. 

Do These People Sleep? 

You know? I am not trying to be critical. Just being genuinely curious.  Many times I will go to bed and certain people will be tweeting on twitter (the usual suspects).  I put my iPad away on top of the bed to go to sleep and the next morning I wake up and these same people will be tweeting vigorously away and they live in the United States.  Do these people ever sleep? Are they automatons? I wonder if you can get addicted to Twitter. I can get addicted to the most simplest of things. I just use Twitter as a way of micro-blogging and advertising my personal blog.  Biz Stone, Blogger’s and Twitter’s founder, calls Twitter a broadcast platform and not social media. Maybe that’s why I like Twitter so much, much more than Facebook.

Maggie the Cat…

Don’t dare let it be known that I said that. Kitties are enemies in Maggie’s town and world. The most vile of creatures. They can elicit some of the most vicious barking from her that I have ever heard. 

It’s Okay to Be Lazy Sometimes I Hope…

Well, it is 6:45am in the morning as I sit here in this, my dark computer room and I still have yet to get my lazy, sorry butt into gear or get dressed. My families’ passed down puritanical work ethic is creeping up on me like a monkey on my back. I am sitting here in my entirely comfortably awesome plaid boxer shorts and super soft cotton white t-shirt. The glaring bright white glow of my new monitor in my computer gleams as I sit munching on a chewy chocolate chip granola bar. Maggie comes into my computer room every few minutes to remind us about our walk – wagging her tail and wiggling something fiercely and excitedly if I offer a back scratch. I enjoyed sleeping in this morning immensely and am still in heaven over my new widescreen monitor.  I had to get up and “play” first thing this morning like a kid on the day after Christmas. It is so nice to have something to look forward to that I have such a incredible passion for – computer hardware.

Fueled By Vinegary Collards and Sweet Potatoes…

As usual, I couldn’t stop to take a simple few moments to take a quick digital photo of Helen’s meal before I ate it while it was still hot.  Mom picked the meal today much to all our benefit.  My father would’ve picked ham no doubt.  We had summer squash casserole, pork tenderloin (nice mom!), collards with sport pepper sauce, baked sweet potatoes, and corn on the cob. The salad was a mixed fruit salad with lots of candied cherries, pears, white grapes, and walnuts in it.

I suggested today to my father that we get Helen to cook salmon croquettes next week.  Something traditionally southern that I had never had the pleasure of trying as Helen would cook it. 

“They’re pretty good,” my father said of Helen’s salmon croquettes. “Not as good as my mommas’ though.”

“Nobody could beat your mother's cooking,” I replied in kind.

My grandmother fixed many after many delicious coconut cakes over the years in her heyday.

My New 27” Monitor…

I am a happy computer camper right now. The screen wasn’t as big as I thought it would be, but it is still impressive as you can see. The thing only weighs twelve pounds for such a large screen. That is what astonished me as well.

A Sleepy Old Grouchy Guy…

Maggie and I awoke at our usual 4am, but something was vastly different this morning.  I begrudgingly couldn’t get awake no matter what I tried. My eyelids felt as if made of lead.  I have yawned a thousand times this morning even though I was in bed by 8pm.  Yes, Maggie did get her walk, but it was hurried along by me. If Maggie didn't have such a good and congenial heart and disposition about such things then she would be pissed and pouting with me for cutting her walk short.   She’s a real trooper, she is.

Before leaving for volunteering, I cooked us both a traditional Southern breakfast.  Maggie and I both gorged ourselves upon cheese eggs, bacon, buttery grits, and toast.  I weighed and have gained 3 pounds as of this morning. That will make my father ecstatic. I am trying so hard in good faith to gain weight.  170 is our goal and then we are going to maintain that with dad’s help.  My father says I need to learn portion control. I really need to go see a proper nutritionist to be honest.  My eating disorders have kept me askew for many years.

Is Today the Big Day?

Will my high definition computer screen come today?  Let’s do hope so.  The online tracking info says it is in transit for delivery in LaGrange, GA. Reading that just made me even more anxious and antsy.  I am hoping this big screen will revolutionize the way I view the Internet and play games.    

It is Usually the Simplest of Things…

A moment ago, I was sitting at this computer with it’s antiquated Pentium 4 processor and even more odd, RDRAM memory, and reading about Apple’s latest operating system codenamed “Lion” – getting caught up on my daily dose of technology. The young man sitting next to me said, ”My computer won’t turn on.”  First thing I did was make sure everything had power and was plugged up and turned on.  The monitor had been turned off somehow. That was our problem.  I smiled as the young man said thanks, sat down, and went about his business.  It often really can be the most simplest of solutions to a problem with computers.  I always start there first.

The Canines of the Neighborhood Say NO to Interlopers!

It has been a very busy morning in the revolving of Maggie's little earth. Maggie and I both jumped out of the bed running and ready to start our day.  I had my walking shorts and shoes on before I even left the bedroom.

Something sure was driving all the neighborhood dogs bat shiat crazy this morning.  You could hear loud barking and baying all throughout the hood.  I call these dogs the first alert canine response team.  It could be a cat burglar in a black mask with a black knap sack or satchel looking for jewelry, or it could just be an innocuous group of roaming deer looking for that succulent St. Augustine grass in my front yard. Both are equally notable in the mind of a canine friend.

My mother bought me lots of those “steams to perfection” meals this week much to my elation.  They are quite tasty for a frozen meal and only take four minutes to steam and to cook. I fixed chicken teriyaki for myself and some chicken piccata for Maggie when we returned from walking.  I should’ve fixed a more traditional breakfast which Maggie and I both prefer, but I didn’t want to dirty up the kitchen this morning.  I was being lazy.  Half the battle in cooking for just me and the Mags is cleaning up afterwards. I promise you I will have cheese grits, bacon, and toast in the morning. 

Situation Is Normal I Hope. Not Fubar…

I pray they deliver my new LCD computer screen today.  I haven’t been this excited as I was since last Christmas.  This thing is going to be super huge at 27 inches, but it’s supposed to be super thin and light.  My old widescreen monitor is 22 inches to put things into perspective and I thought it was huge at the time I purchased it.   I didn’t realize how busy my blog was at the time with readers to be able to purchase an $269.99 LCD screen with proceeds from the Google AdSense advertising. 

Those days are long gone now as far as the life of this blog are concerned, and in someway I am relieved.  I am lucky if a get 100 readers a day now – just another day in the life blog like the countless others that preceded it.  I used to try and focus on the characters I have in my life like little day in the life tales.  I fast ran out of characters to write about in my life as I have slowly and increasingly grown isolated and withdrawn again.  I call it the great social oscillation.  It’s not uncommon for me so I am not too worried about it or alarmed. 

Bless Their Hearts.  They Really Do Try and Mean Well…

“I went and paid Rodgers Barbecue $50 dollars for you to eat on during the week,” my father told me last night. “Go after volunteering and get you the lunch special with some sweet tea to-go every day.”

Dad is hoping to fatten me up. He also knows I adore Rodger’s meals and a occasional BBQ sandwich or two.  I didn’t tell him that I am struggling with the fears of becoming fat again. I could stand to lose ten more pounds was going through my mind.

Mom bought double of everything she usually buys me on grocery day. It took me ten minutes to get all my groceries inside. I literally had two carbon copies of what I usually get. Maggie’s focus was on getting a can of Vienna sausages as is our custom on grocery day. I also got lots of what we call TV dinners by my father’s request.

Venues Change. Time Changes Things as Well…

That little wooded park near the elementary school that I used to love sitting in, reading and drinking beer while I listened to copious amounts of music and AM radio in years ago is no more.  It is now a monument displaying local and national flags and is lit 24 hours a day with extremely super bright floodlights.  It brought on a bit of nostalgia as I was driving by there this morning to get my sodas for the day.  (Like I needed to be drinking beer anyway! What was I thinking?!) Well, I never said I was perfect or a saint.

You Look Gaunt Son!

Dad told me last night that I looked very gaunt and that I needed to gain weight.

“You just look like you’re not eating well.  You look malnourished and hungry,” he told me extremely concerned. “You can see your bones.”

Leave it to my father to be the typical harbinger of bad news.  I call him doom and gloom sometimes. My mother can even be more dour than my father.

“I just have an active metabolism,” I told my father weakly trying to excuse my appearances unsuccessfully.

We stepped on my scales in the bathroom and I weighed 150 pounds. I promised my father that I would make a concerted effort to gain weight again.  The last time my father and I weighed the scales read 172. Mom’s orders from my father was to get me lots of those fattening TV and prepared frozen dinners.  I’ve never really faced the problem of being to too slim and skinny before.

Nervous Energy…

“Come on shithead,” I told Maggie playfully after getting her leash on,

Unleash the hounds is an apt phrase as Maggie went bolting out the door with me not far behind.  Maggie and all the neighborhood dogs had been barking since 4am.  I was hoping Maggie’s walk would get out some of that nervous and pent up energy the neighborhood canines were contagiously experiencing. 

Oh, My Joy of Music…

I will not listen to music when I am depressed or mentally unwell, and it is a surefire giveaway for me that something is wrong with the crazy things going on inside my cranium and that I am struggling.  Lately, I have been listening to lots and lots of music with a gusto and a passion which is a  promising and good sign I hope, or the calm before the storm (shudders)? Gulp!  I call it my aural brain massage. 

I have Bjork’s album Post playing in the car.  Joni Mitchell’s and Rickie Lee Jones’ discographies are getting shuffled on my iPod.  Paula Cole is on my iPad with several of her albums. And I have lots of Ben Folds playing on my computer along with several other artists that have caught my fancy lately.

You Rang? 

I just drove over to my parent’s house at 5am to get my six regular cokes and my two packs of cigarettes for the day.  I asked dad the other day if my coming so early wakes him up or disturbs him.

“I’ve never heard you come over that early before,” he told me to a relieved sigh on my part as I do that most mornings. “I am out like a light at that time of night.”

I have to walk past his bedroom window on the creaky porch to the backdoor were mom places my sodas and cigs.

My Plumber Just Loves Me…

My food disposal unit under the sink quit working yesterday and the sink was not draining well.  I called my plumber and he was over in ten minutes being in the neighborhood.  The bill for services? Seventy five dollars for something that took the plumber like ten minutes to fix. I was shocked when he had fixed so quickly and was on his way. Oh well, I better just be glad it wasn’t much more expensive. I was worried it would cost as much as replacing the whole unit which would be around $250. I am certainly learning owning a home can be very expensive. 

The Doors are Closed. Nobody's Home…

I woke up at five freaking AM and groaned and moaned pitifully entirely not ready to get up this morning in the predawn dark. This is very unlike me to say the least. Maggie jumped off the bed to go take her morning whiz.  It was one of the only two days that I have off from volunteering.  I am not much for one to sleeping in, but today was an exception. I got Maggie out of my cool, dark, and comfortable bedroom and shut the door as she went into exile.  I slept for three more fit hours and awoke to Maggie trying to loudly sniff under the door with great vigor. It sounded like I had a hungry aardvark on the other side. She wanted to smell just what was going on in there behind closed doors.  I couldn’t help but grin broadly.  She is always so completely undaunted with boundless determination – kind of like the unsinkable Molly Brown of Titanic fame.

I Found a New Darlin’ of Mine…

I am hooked on Imogen Heap’s album Speak For Yourself.   I found it yesterday by accident on iTunes.  Needless to say, I will listen to the album until I grow tired of it which will be about a few weeks.  Another great album is Ben Fold’s Songs for Silverman.  The song Sentimental Guy is fantastic for a rock and piano band. That is getting lots of air time here on my computer, iPod, and stereo at the moment. Don’t let the song Jesusland offend you.

My New Toy I Ordered this Morning…

My old wide screen LCD monitor is finally going out and kaput after six long years of loyal service.  I bought it originally with the advertising money generated by this blog. It will probably go out in the next day or so and I suspect it is the fluorescent back light. I could always replace the bulb, but I talked myself into this one because of its massive and gigantic 27” screen and free shipping. 

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Acer S273HLbmii Black 27" 2ms Full HD HDMI LED Backlight LCD Monitor Slim Design w/Speaker 300 cd/m2 ACM 12,000,000:1

Cockleburs of Pain…

We were about a mile into our walk this morning when I noticed Maggie was limping pretty badly.  I sat down on the curb at a stop sign to look at her front paws and the offending foot. Yep, a nasty little cocklebur had wedged itself between two of Maggie's toes. That must have been very, very painful for her, but she was keeping up with me like good little trooper that she is without a whimper.  We were soon on our way again sans limp doing the thing Maggie loves the most other than eating my people food.

Volunteer Goings On…

Miss Pauline ordered her new Dell laptop this morning.  She is very, very excited.  Her old work laptop was five years old and even I will have to agree it was getting pretty long in the tooth and pretty lethargic and old. She did get the Core i5 processor like I suggested and the most memory they offered for that laptop.  My job will be getting all her old data off the old laptop and onto the new laptop. That’s were the old DVD burner drive in the ageing computer will come in handy.

Is Blogging Dying?

I used to read 50 to 60 blogs a day.  Now, no one writes any more lately.  I am down to only 4 or 5 blogs that update on a daily basis. I read these with Google Reader as they can be erratic as well. There seems to have been this mass exodus to Facebook or that is what I believe happened. 

The Grass is Not Always Greener on the Other Side…

Well, I am staying put with my feet firmly planted in literacy land. I decided not to take the job as a cashier at the grocery store across the river and will continue to volunteer at the Literacy Center. I am just going to stay content with what has been so good for me at the moment.  My main focus is my mental health for the time being and not knowing when another attack or acute symptoms might hit.  The fiasco that ended my employment at my last job was just too embarrassing and hard to take. I was doing so well for the most part with only some minor hiccups. 

The Message Board for Canines…

I was trying to hurry Maggie along this morning as we were running late.  Our walks are usually very leisurely. We stopped at a 4-way stop and Maggie was fascinated with the stop sign pole.  “The is just too important and fascinating to be missed!” Maggie seemed to try and tell me when I tried to urge us on. I allowed her that transgression, but no squirrel waffles, though.

A Divine Dusk…

The evening cicadas are all calling in earnest which makes me wax poetic and thus this post.  The sun is setting with a sliver of a little orange on the western horizon.  Maggie and I have had our Tuesday big beef Mexican Burrito with refried beans, cheese, and rice, and things are going fine with satisfied and full bellies and sleeping pups.  The only caveat to mar the day is my father’s nightly visit which is going to be very late tonight and I usually get up at four. He called me and said he will be here around ten.  That said, I will be asleep when he arrives and am headed that way as we speak. 

Promising News -- A Paying Gig…

I had driven across that grand Chattahoochee into our sister city in another state to the private and family owned grocery store there.  Dad keeps saying they have the best meat by far at the best price having a real butcher. There was a notice on the sliding door about them hiring two new clerks when I walked in to buy some ground chuck.  I paid for my purchase and walked back out to my car to fill out the application and the manager was very nice when I brought it back in and we talked for a moment.  I was literally just sweating bullets it was so hot outside when I got back in.

“What are you doing now?” she asked me with a warm smile as she started to peruse my application quisitively and I wiped the ample sweat pouring upon my brow.

“I am a volunteer at the nonprofit literacy agency in town,” I replied with a welcome assurance that this would help me get this new position.  “Mainly computer related stuff.  I work eight to twelve everyday.”

“You will probably get a call from us in the morning,” the manager told me as we parted.

I was very glad to hear that, but I will miss helping Miss Pauline. She’s been so very nice and encouraging to me.  Changing jobs truly feels and seems fraught with peril these days.  I always feel like I am always deserting my often kind former employee for a new or better one.  And then I have Social Security to deal with as well.

Exclaim it From the Highest of Rooftops…

It is grocery day today! I will get the same thing I did last week with little deviation.  I am such a creature of habit. I also just adore my curbside grocery service as those damn grocery stores make me a nervous wretched wreck. Service with a smile and a hundred questions to follow as well.

Dangerous Shadows…

Maggie went on another barking hissy fit in the early hours of this morning.  It took me a few tries to coax her inside so I could lock the dog door.  She knows the game very well and i think she enjoys playing it.  Sometimes I wonder who the mastermind of casa de Andrew really is.  Maggie or I.

Maggie’s Girth Grows Rapidly…

Maggie’s harness no longer properly fits forcing me to take her on our walk without it this morning and on a regular collar and leash.  This worried the holy hell out of me today as she can and will wiggle out of regular collar with ease.  I am going to see my veterinarian, Dr. Thomas, today before he closes at noon and will have them fit a new harness on Maggie. I’ve had terrible luck getting one to fit thus the need for help. Maggie doesn't look fat, though, but she has definitely gained weight. I about can’t carry her anymore without my arms giving out. I am sure Dr. Thomas will chastise me about this as well, but he will also just be glad to have the business as well. 

My Vegan Princess…

My Vegan Princess of Twitter has been very busy lady lately. She always intrigues me without fail.  She’s got a new smart phone and has taken to checking in to 4Square when she arrives for work with its address for the whole word to see.  You can also see what businesses she frequents and her home’s subdivision on 4Square as well.  This just screams stalker come stalk me in my opinion! It really is a stalker’s wet dream come true. My stalkers would be calling my place of work and telling them what a bad and theft prone employee I am. Anything to cause strife and more mischief in my life. 

Nigh For a Walk…

I am of the opinion that squirrels have a death wish when it concerns them and cars. I counted five road kill squirrels as Maggie and I went about our walk this morning.  They seem to spaz out in front of a oncoming car like their brains and decision making processes are malfunctioning or have completely stopped. 

I Knew You Loved the Sofa and Trash TV More Than You Love Me…

Ah, a few days off to do absolutely nothing. Nada! I don’t plan on doing one thing today other than what I exactly want to which will entail lots of time on the Internet and playing with my Internet enabled gadgets which a friend of mine calls little toys for big boys. Any other coercion by the parents socially will be duly ignored such as overly social events. It has been a long week and I haven’t felt well mentally lately at all. 

Maggie was on the sofa with the television playing softly when I went to bed last night.  I turned off all the lights except the porch light and I let Maggie do what she wanted to do. “Kids will be kids,” I said to myself and to Maggie. I’ve gotten so used to her sleeping with me that I had a hard time slipping away into the oblivion of sleep without her rhythmic breathing next to me.  Maggie was by my side this morning when I woke up, though, which was comforting. She was snoring softly as I reached over to touch her and she jumped nervously out of surprise to be suddenly awakened. She was startled. “Don’t do that!” she seemed to say as she sighed very loudly and went back to sleep.

Maggie and I go on our walk rain, snow or shine it seems.  Nothing eventful happened on our walk this morning.  I’ve noticed a lot of the women walkers carrying big sticks such as axe handles with them lately as they go about their walking routes. I can only image that is in protection against a couple of dog attacks as we’ve had a few lately.  Dad said last night that I need to quit letting Maggie call the shots meandering through the neighborhood.  Dad also thinks dogs should be outside animals and shouldn’t be let in on only the coldest or hottest of days.  So I don’t take too much stock in what my father says about Maggie or dogs for that matter.    

I can have weird, eclectic tastes and ideas when it comes to meals and my taste buds sometimes.  I wanted tuna fish salad on rye sandwiches for breakfast this morning.  I boiled and chopped some eggs, added some sweet pickle relish, chopped celery and onions, and mixed in enough Blue Plate mayonnaise for the perfect combination.  Mom had bought me some tuna fish packed in olive oil and it was so delicious with much more flavor.  Much better than the regular tuna fish packed in spring water.  I am sure with much more calories as well.  

Words to a Motherly Mother…

“Mom, thank you for all you do for me,” I just told my mother via my Crackberry on my own volition. “Maggie and I would be in sad shape without your boundless amount of help.”

“I just love you two,” my mother replied. “But it is very nice to find it isn’t going unnoticed.”

Supervised Supervision…

I let Maggie call any and all the shots this morning.  I was just along for the ride.  She was the big boss dog for a day as I called her when we left the house.  She led us on another haphazard and meandering walk through the neighborhood. 

I don’t think Maggie has ever run into another dog big or small that she wasn’t glad to meet and greet. It is just her friendly and outgoing disposition it seems. Maggie’s naivety also worries me if she ever got away from me or out of the fence.  I have terrible nightmares of something similar happening to Maggie.  I don’t think I could go on without her.  She is truly my best friend.

A Frost Before Long. It’s Just a Matter of Time…

There was something different about the air on the way through our jaunt this morning, though.  It was cooler with a hint of a chill.  Jacket weather has returned for these early mornings. There was a touch of fall in the air that was quite nice. The lows are supposed to drop into the sixties next week at night.  I will certainly feel like fall then – especially for this Dixie born and bred guy of the Deep South. 

Helen Fridays…

Yes, it is Helen Fridays once again (I sound like a broken record every week). It will be good to break bread with my favorite cook. The weeks go by so fast! Especially as I get older and older.

Dad said he was getting Helen to cook her smothered pork chops today which are delicious, but not very photogenic. I will endeavor to get a photo up on the blog if I don’t ravenously devour it beforehand.  My father also said he had some fresh butterbeans from the curb market he was going to get Helen to shell and cook.  I am sure Helen will just love to shell all those beans (sarcasm).

The Pendulum Swings Yet Again…

Mom is happy, upbeat, and shopping this week after several weeks of seclusion.  She decided to not languish in bed for awhile since there are no more social events planned which make her hide in her bedroom.

My mother ran by my house last night to deliver some more V-8 vegetable juice. I am quite addicted to the stuff at the moment.  I was thinking about getting some earlier in the day in a fit of deja vu when mom arrived with juice to quench my cravings. My mother has an uncanny knack for doing that – for knowing what you need. I assure you the visit was not solicited. 

It is quiet as a church mouse here this morning.  The only person in the computer lab is lonely old me.  I can hear Miss Pauline talking on her phone down the hall in her office. Someone else just popped popcorn in the microwave and it smells wonderful as well (there should be a law banning doing such a thing amidst a hungry public).  I may not survive till noon to eat my lunch my stomach grumbles so from that smell of freshly popped popcorn.

Like a Racehorse Out of the Gate…

My dear Maggie was eagerly chomping at the bit to go walking this morning as usual.  It was probably the must humid morning thus far this summer. We had a very, very heavy coating of dew on the grass. Just being outside made your clothes feel clammy and wet after a few moments.  The only walking faux pas committed this morning was moving to the other side of the road while a woman passed walking her beastly looking Rottweiler.  I think we offended them. I wasn’t taking any chances with that black monster of a hungry looking dog and my little tenacious, but outgunned Maggie.  Maggie made me envious when she curled up on the couch to sleep when we arrived home as well.  It was off to volunteer land for me. 

So, now I’m at the Literacy Center already obsessing over and wanting to eat my lunch of turkey on wheat sandwiches. Sigh!  I can already tell is is going to be a long morning.  It was one of the rare few times I wasn’t excited about coming in to volunteer. I wanted to just eat breakfast and go back to bed.  C’est Le Vie. We can all be allowed a day off sometimes, can’t we?  I want to use my get out of jail free card this morning.    

Damn Scary Stuff…

Many of you know I love keeping up with all aspects of the weather almost to the point of it being an obsession of mine.  I have never, ever before become truly scared of the weather.  Until now.  The wind was blowing so hard in a thunderstorm a moment ago that I thought we were having a tornado pass through overhead.  The rain was also heavily blowing sideways. I grabbed the weighty Maggie and we sat in my tub until it passed.  Maggie was not amused, by the way.  Now, we are having the proverbial calm after the storm.  It is eerily silent and calm outside, and the sun has come back out just in time for what I hope is going to be a grand sunset.

The Meal Du Jour…

Mom brought me enough groceries this Monday to have breakfast for supper every night again this week.  I have really enjoyed this topsy turvy arrangement. Mom says it is easier on her as well to purchase. I might even try my hand at cooking cheese and ham omelets this week soon.  Maggie particularly and especially loves eating scrambled cheese eggs and bacon at nine at night.  I sometimes think my Maggie is a stunted version of myself. They do say dogs definitely take on the personality of their owners.

Let’s Spend Some of the Technology Budget!  Woo! Hoo!

My “Boss” asked me when I first arrived for volunteering this morning about what kind and brand of laptop to get.  She was very excitable this morning which grew contagious. She has some extra money in the Literacy Center budget to buy one as her old one is now ancient in computer terms.  She is starting to have problems with her older laptop as well.

“Get a Dell,” I told her excitedly about getting a new computer. “They have great support, service and a good warranty. And, at least, get a Core i5 processor and 4 GB of ram. You get what you pay for with regards to computers.”

Laptops are one of those types of computers I can’t service unless it means just replacing the LCD screen, processor or adding RAM.  All the parts inside a laptop are mostly proprietary. 

I did talk Miss Pauline into allowing me to go to Wal-Mart and buying us a $40 wireless Internet access point.  She s going to be amazed when her new laptop arrives and she can connect with ease wirelessly. I will just have to be sure to lock that access point down securely.

Destination: Maggie’s World…

I type that wiping the heavy sleep from my eyes with my pillow head hair all awry.  Maggie woke me up very early this morning preening at the foot of the bed.  It is currently 4:30am. I am jonesing very badly for a caffeine laden soda this morning.  Maggie and I will go on our walk when I get home and I have gotten a few cold sodas in me – hence kick starting this old brain of mine this morning.

Certain Cardinal Rules…

I have certain things or rules that keep me from writing about various topics on the blog for my sanities sake and for the sake of decorum.  Religion is one of them and I blatantly broke my rule. Sorry! Another cardinal rule is to never write about the always divisive topic of politics.  It is just not worth it for me and for you I fear as far as this blog is concerned. 

Maggie? Puppies?

Charlie was telling me last night that he dearly wanted a puppy from Maggie. Charlie and I have spoken about this beforehand.  Maggie was in ecstasy over Charlie being here.  They were having a true Charlie and Maggie bonding moment. I hated to tell Charlie that she had been spayed at a very early age.  Charlie’s son, Al, has six small dogs and they are all a mess – always getting into  something and acting crazy.  I told Charlie he was going to have to get one of Al’s dogs.

“You brought her out of her shell,” Charlie then told me of Maggie. “She used to be so scary of people and look at her now. She has so much personality.”

Charlie had also brought Wendy’s last night and it was horrible.  I didn't tell Charlie this, but I couldn’t eat the burgers and the fries were terrible as well.  The beef had a weird oily aftertaste as if the patties had gone rancid.

“We Should Be in Church,” I Say with a Wince…

The mere thought scares me, though – all that socialization and the preaching down to that can happen sometimes.  The dressing up in frou-frou clothes that I currently don’t own and would have to buy.  Besides, dress clothes make me itch. Especially ties around the neck. I feel like I am choking. Dad and I were discussing this last night. Mrs. Florene always made Church sound like a wonderful place to be and maybe hers was.  I was telling my father about her and her experiences with religion

“What made you stop going to church?” I reluctantly asked my father while we were on the subject.

Dad reminded me of my own proclivity when it concerns my mental illness that gets entangled with my zeal for religion that the mental illness provokes.  It has probably been two or more decades since dad or I have set foot in a church for Sunday service. We always went to church when I was a child.  Dad liked playing the piano very much and loves church music.  I expected the worst and got it. Dad replied with some seething criticism and vitriol, and for which I will not write about here. He declared himself a very staunch unwavering agnostic. 

For mom, the Catholic Church just got too complicated.  She couldn’t get it together enough to go -- between getting her hair presentable and wearing the right clothes.  Church is just a very social affair that scares those of us with social anxiety deeply.

A Beautiful Morning for a Walk…

I was up at my usual 5am and so was Maggie.  It was a cool, crisp, overcast night this morning. The low hanging clouds glowed orange from all the city streetlamps covered by a reflective overcast sky.

Maggie and I walked our usual route.  We stayed in my neighborhood and the neighborhoods surrounding us this morning.  This takes a lot of pressure off me not having to worry about traffic.  I am always worried Maggie will get spooked by a loud car and wiggle off her leash.  A complete spaz moment.  It has happened before. Maggie is adept at getting off that tether.

Happyone, an Awesome Blogger, Asks…

If you enjoy walking, then I suggest you read Happyone’s blog.  There is a new walking adventure everyday that she writes about and chronicles in photos. It is very inspiring and It is quickly becoming a favorite place for me to stop by each day. I have also got to start hanging out at the local liquor store as well as Happyone is finding some serious pocket change in their parking every few days. 

“Any advice on how to deal with someone you love, when they get depressed?”

Happyone, what has always traditionally helped me when I get depressed is for a loved one to get me out of the house to get an ice-cream or something very similar – a little out of the house sojourn, and sometimes it just takes an active interest in my life from someone else. It know it sounds so simple, but sometimes those simple things do work.  Laughter is contagious as well and Maggie often helps me with this.   She is always doing some crazy dog centric shenanigan.  She keeps me on my toes like a toddler minus the diapers. 

Pork Cutlets Down the Old Gullet…

Helen brought by my Friday plate of food late in the afternoon yesterday.  I was eagerly anticipating it. She cooked fried pork cutlets, fresh creamed or what some would call fried corn, black-eyed peas, deviled eggs, and (much better tasting) cornbread.  Dad has been buying Bavarian style full fat buttermilk which has made a big difference in Helen's cornbread. Once again, I was much too in a hurry to take a photo before eating my meal. It smelled so good and the plate was still very hot. Helen also brought by a plate of sliced tomatoes will make tomato sandwiches for my lunch today. 

Helen can be very goodheartedly nosy at times.  She was asking me questions about my family.  She was keenly interested in why myself, my brother, and my sister and I aren’t close.

“It kind of just happened that way,” I told Helen as we sat in my den. “I do not really know why either. We never really had a falling out. They are just scattered all around and we never see each other.” was my own explanation.  

Worry Wart…

It worries and pains me on the blog when someone else, a reader, writes they are struggling with depression or a matter of numerous hard things.  You are not alone and never will be.  I know what you are going through. And having someone with real-life experience in these matters can make all the difference in the world. I’ve seen  quite a few of my most esteemed blog readers go through mental hell over the years.   I guess it is my innate fatherly or brotherly instinct to rush in and give help.  No normal, kind person wants to see a friend suffer mentally be it on a blog or in real life, and this blog is just an extension of my real life.  Know that I am around if you need a good online friend to talk to.  I will drop everything and lend an ear.  

Come Hell or High Water…

We were going on Maggie’s walk this morning come hell or high water.  When Maggie awoke me around 5am and I didn’t immediately jump up and start getting ready for our walk.  Maggie went outside as I rolled over and pulled the covers tightly over me once again and took matters in her own hands. She began to bark her little head off.  Maggie just wasn’t going to play around with her walk this morning.  We were out the door in mere matter of minutes after I had gotten dressed. It reminded me of my own mother’s impetuousness in similar matters.  

Cheese in the Middle…

Well, I finally got to taste the much ballyhooed Ritz crackers mom has been raving and gushing about.  Yes, they are very good. 

“Write dad out a check out of your account to pay for your case of crackers Judy ordered,” I told my mother. “I’ve already paid dad for mine this afternoon. We’ve got to help keep the pharmacy profitable.”

My father calls my mother the “Mongol Horde” when she descends upon the pharmacy to shop. He is also been known to describe her to be like a Biblical locust swarm – shelves laid bare as she passes through to the front.  Of course, we are exaggerating a wee bit. But hey, a little bit of hyperbole is good for this writer’s soul.

Just Another Day in the Grand Scheme of Things…

Mom is obsessing over this new kind of Ritz cheese crackers my father is selling.  It seems everyone at my father’s pharmacy is raving about them.  Mom got Judy to order a case for them and a case for me.

“You are going to love them!” my mother cheerily exclaimed when she stopped by my house this afternoon. 

I’ve felt strangely amiss today.  This would be one of the prime day’s in my past where I would drink beer with wanton abandon.   I would drink until I was drunk and then I couldn’t stay awake any longer.  Anything to escape my reality. I just feel out of sorts and uncomfortable mentally.  This, too, shall pass as they always would say in AA.

Google+

Anyone using Google+?  I have yet to check it out.  What are your feelings? My feelings are that Google is a dollar short and certainly a day late.  It will be a short lived novelty like Google Buzz was.  I still haven’t quite figured out what Google Buzz was to be honest. 

Fort Tyler…

Maggie and I walked all the way over to Fort Tyler predawn which is an old Confederate Civil War fort that guarded the Chattahoochee back when it was still navigable by riverboats.  You used to could travel by boat all the way to the Gulf of Mexico from here on its banks. This is just down the street from my parent's house and about two miles from mine.  I kept a mental note of the time and distance in my head so I wouldn’t be late for volunteering.  As the Eastern horizon began to grow light, then I knew it was time to head home.  Maggie spent time exploring all the novel and interesting smells around the Fort.  

Volunteering at the Literacy Center was great fun in that I get to play with computers for half a day and somewhat frustrating today as well. Everybody is complaining about Ubuntu and the games installed with both it and Windows (can’t play Windows games like solitaire, hold ‘em poker, etc.) and wanting Windows back. I decided to make each computer dual boot so you can choose the operation system for yourself.  It will take me several days of menial work to change all the computers over.  Gotta keep ‘em happy, though. I am here to serve them and not the other way around. I keep telling myself this over and over.  I don’t “own” these computers.

I listened to a broad collection of R.E.M. on my iPod the walk home with Maggie. Lots of good songs like Shiny Happy People  or Near Wild Heaven that I hadn’t heard in twenty years.  This urged me to buy a few B-52s albums when I got home and online.  Can we have a  little “Rock Lobster” in the house?

Maggie was pooped when we got home and so was I as well.  I curled up on the couch with the Mags and watched the morning news before I got in the shower and headed for volunteering. I am learning that I am certainly in my own element on these early morning ventures and much more lethargic late in the day.  By 8 or 9 at night, then I am yawning and ready for bed. 

Better First Than Last…

I was the first person at the Literacy Center this morning.  I was actually enjoying my time as I sat in the parking lot and listened to Bjork’s Debut album way too loudly.  I played that song “Come to Me,” over and over.

Earlier, I had driven over to my parent's house to get my six colas for the day.  Dad was sitting out on the cool back porch reading Paula Dean’s, of Food Network fame, autobiography. I came as early as daybreak as to avoid any awkward social predicaments or situations. 

“You know she was agoraphobic and had terrible anxiety about her social phobias,” I told my father.  “She couldn’t even go out of the house. Her two boys had to deliver all the food for her blossoming business.”

“It’s a fascinating read,” my father told me as he closed the book.

“You should have seen Oprah’s interview of her.  You can find it on YouTube,” I replied.

I sometimes play the video to hear Paula’s velvety Southern Belle accent and voice.

Yes, Ms. Maggins…    

“How could I ever forget you?” I told Maggie as I pulled the leash out of it’s drawer before dawn. 

Maggie started to prance impatiently – wiggling so I could hardly get her leash on.  This never gets old or fails to make me chuckle or laugh.

Mags and I stood in the front yard as I asked her what way she wanted to go.

“More dogs that way,” Maggie seemed to say as we headed south.