The Great 2012 Snack Attack…

Today is grocery day, a very special day for me, and a day with an abundance of good food, good spirits, and good will interspersed between bouts of anticipation. I get thanksgiving once a week, every week, like in that movie Groundhog Day. I always make it easy for my mother so we get the same things every time.  I am sure mom follows the same routines and route around Kroger as she’s done for months and maybe even years now. She will then pull up in front of my house and I will unload.  Mom never gets out the car and I call her our curbside delivery.  Maggie always wants to see her so badly, though.  Maggie will yelp trying to get her attention and to get her to come inside.

“Don’t get me anymore hot sauce,” I told my mother last night as we coordinated our grocery lists. “I already have 8 bottles.”

I also have four bottles of ketchup and three bottles of mustard so this is obvious that this is playing into my mother’s obsessive compulsive disorder. All this and my 50 packs of cigarettes in the freezer.  Dad says my mother and Charlie would buy six of everything if they could.

“Mom, I’m fine on condiments,” I told her. “Really, I am.”

“Oh, Mom? Don’t get me anymore of that whole grain wheat bread it was awful,” I told my mother in closing. “The whole whole wheat hotdog buns were even worse.”

“Your father said the same thing as well,” mom replied. “I just thought it would be healthier choice since you and your father eat so much bread.”

Dad says he drew the line when mom started buying diet ketchup. He said it was terrible. His first experience with diet ketchup was with a meal of calf's liver.